To feel I am losing my looks at 33

[Julember]

I feel so old and sad that my attractiveness is fading, not that I thought I was beautiful or anything, it just makes me sad when I see young, fresh faces 20 somethings and I will never have that back 😩

Mine are going at 36 if that helps. I used to be stunning. Oh well I've had my time and there's always botox

I worry that if my husband leaves I will never find anybody again because the older you get, the less attractive you become?

YABU, stop being so focused on looks, men don't talk this way. Women have been conditioned to believe all we have to offer is looks. Everyone ages, the alternative is being dead, I know which I'd rather.

The negative outlook is far less attractive than the actual change in your looks. We all age, it’s a fact of life. It doesn’t have to be a negative one.

It's time to think about who you are and what you want from life - i.e. stop defining yourself by your looks and develop your other good qualities. I don't mean to sound harsh but if you feel like this at 33 and don't do something about it, how do you think you will feel at 43, 53, 63, 73?

Sounds a bit over dramatic to say you are old At 33!

It also sounds as though you place a huge emphasis on looks and age.

The best advice I can give you as a woman in her mid 40s is that you are never going to be as young as you are today, so stop worrying and live a full life! 33 is still young.
No, you will never be 21 again. Yes, todays 21 year olds will, I’d they’re lucky, get old.

Everybody ages. There is no escape, other than the alternative which is death.

I can't believe in 2022 there are still so many adult women who buy into this bullshit.

I have a relative who died at 37. 37 is no age at all.

Perhaps someone will love you for your personality? Chin up.

Well said.

Why are you thinking about your husband leaving?

You are worth far more than how you look. I am a few years older than you and feel like my confidence is renewing as I approach 40. In fact, it is more than renewal, it is the most confident I have ever felt - I think quite a lot of women experience this.

Also, I think it is much nicer to not have men leering at me constantly.

And if my husband left me for a younger model I'd take a big chunk of his money (which would make HIM less attractive) and live quite happily without bothering to try to find myself another man 😁.

Hard same. I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old, haven’t slept in 2 years and skincare has gone out of the window. Hair is thin and limp and never styled, have a c section overhang and my feet are vile. 2019 I was routinely getting my eyebrows done, waxes, going to the gym, nails, etc. Since the pandemic I’ve entirely gone to seed, I don’t have the time or the money for any of it any more. I’m also 33 :(

DH says he still thinks I’m gorgeous bless him. I just try and remember when he and I got together when I was 23 I thought I looked awful then too! I don’t think that many people are very good at being an objective judge of themselves, looks wise. Still shit though!

We just aren’t getting on very well at the minute, It’s bit that I don’t trust him but you hear of so many men dumping their family lives to live with a 20 something women with no Kids. He is able to do that, I am too old and have too much baggage for that.

So OP, do YOU think older women aren't attractive enough to find a partner based on their age?

I get what you mean. I’m 30. In my head I still feel like I’m one of the ‘young ones’ and in many ways I am but also in many other ways I definitely am not. It doesn’t feel the at long ago that I was the ‘young’ person at my work and now I see all these 20 year olds starting and it makes me realise I’m now a woman and not a young lady (obviously I know to many my age is definitely not old but I do feel lately it’s just hit me) Plus I’ve recently had a baby and my god that has aged me. I have so many grey hairs now and my baby is my priority so in terms of looking after myself, that is way down the list of things to do. I definitely get where your coming from.

Bloody hell Op. Your posts read like something from the 1950s. If you are serious then I suggest that you seek help for this.

What a load of crap. Plenty of women find love in their 40s and beyond. You really need to get a grip.

Do you have children together?

You're still young, you'll never be 20 again so lose the silly idea and stop longing for the impossible.

I'm 10 years older and don't feel old or unattractive. I'm normal average looking but my body is working and face is in one piece.

Yes we have 2.

YABU.

Stop placing so much value in your looks - society has conditioned you to feel this way and it's gross. I feel for the younger generation of women/girls as it's only getting worse.

You're very immature.

You need to work on your self esteem

If you feel this st 33, how you gonna cope with 40s/50s/60s etc

So he has 'baggage' just as much as you. He can't wash his hands of his children and go off with a 20 year old - his children and their needs are not going to go away - that's even assuming he would want to do that!