To feel I am losing my looks at 33

[Julember]

I feel so old and sad that my attractiveness is fading, not that I thought I was beautiful or anything, it just makes me sad when I see young, fresh faces 20 somethings and I will never have that back 😩

I'm sorry you've internalised society's misogyny to this extent. Good people fall in love with people, not faces and bodies. The 'trophy wife hunter' is not a person anyone should fall in love with anyway.

This sounds harsh op but get over it.
if you feel like this at 33 then you really need to sort it out, imagine how down youlll
be about your aging when you’re 43, 53, 63??
you’re young. You’ll never get these years back so stop stressing about this, you can’t change it and your life will be miserable if you continue on this path

I had a conversation with MIL about DH having the snip and she said she wouldn’t advise it as generally women end up with the children and it gives DH a chance to start again.

Am I being unreasonable to think this thread is a thinly veiled attempt to make any woman over the age of 30 feel they are past it?

I think you should invest some time on getting happy with yourself. If that means a new skincare routine or more time for exercise fine. Or just some time to do what brings you joy, shopping or a spa treatment or just reading in a coffee shop. It’s not about what worth you have to him, it’s your self worth that is important and it sounds like you need to like yourself a lot more than you do.

I see so many gorgeous women 40 plus but I feel they just ‘have it’, I don’t think it is me that feels that way, I feel society makes
me feel this way.

So this isn't about losing your looks, it's about having trouble in your marriage.

I'd say the kind of man who ditches his family for a younger model isn't worth having anyway, but even that isn't the point of what's really going on here.

Now I know you're taking the piss.

@Beezknees sorry?

When my DH had the snip after two children, my MIL...did not say that. Yours is an utter bitch and might explain your lack of self esteem.

Well she's a knob, isn't she?

As if. 🤣

I'm 43 and I feel I'm attractive as I've got a good complexion, nice blonde highlights & my hair is finally looking good after I lost some of it due to medication in my 30s.

Yes, I'm overweight but I'm dieting and I wear stylish clothes that suit my shape.
I actually feel far more confident than I did in my 30s.

I think OP you're feeling bad at present but things will improve and you will realise you are actually really young!!
If you're worried about your marriage the best thing is to talk to your DH rather than your MIL who sounds like a stirrer.

Also stop comparing yourself to really really young women.

It really hurt when she said that, I couldn’t believe it tbh, she does make
me feel like shit a lot

I am feeling the same aged 45 - everything seems to suddenly be looking old on my face and I feel ugly! But when I get too low I remember that old age is a gift given to few and having lost my brother when he was 27 and my best friend when she was 24 I know this is true. Gosh I would love to be 33 again though - I bet your skin looks amazing! It is hard though, just try not to let it get you down and please dont compare yourself to other people - especially 20 somethings!

It's not your looks that are the problem, it's your low self esteem. Your mil has tapped straight into that. How far has the apple fallen from the tree? Does your husband make you feel unattractive and worthless too? I think there is a bigger picture here.

I thought I was looking old at 26! Well I'm now 47 and actually think I look good. Yes I don't look 20 (because I'm not 20)but I still look good. Looking older doesn't = looking unattractive as you seem to think. Anyway - it's only you that's obsessed with your looks. No one else is. What people find attractive about me isn't how young or beautiful I am or am not - it's my personality! Being kind, witty, clever is MUCH more attractive than a lack of lines around the eyes. The most beautiful person I know is 53 - she's fairly large and not in her 20s but she has the most radiant, attractive and gorgeous personality of anyone I know. Both men and women find her irresistible!!

It sounds like you don't have a looks problem, you have a MIL problem.

Unless your H is a particular type of unsavoury character with a penchant for very young women, despite his own advancing maturity, then growing older shouldn't affect how attractive he finds you. If it does, on age alone, that makes him rather sleazy and undesirable anyway.
You should really ignore all the nonsense that youth is essential for attractiveness. It's not. You only have to look around you to see there are some fabulous looking older women, and conversely some younger ones who are rather plain.
If you feel you're losing your looks at 30, it's not the aging process that's caused it. Its either in your imagination or due to factors such as tiredness, stress, changes to body shape, lack of time or money, or having other priorities than grooming. All reversible when circumstances allow, if you choose.

Good grief, get a grip.

My 89 year old neighbour got engaged last year and is due to be married soon. Her younger fiancé found her attractive.

Lose the obsession with looks and enjoy life. It’s too short to worry about being attractive

This. Is your husband really that shallow? Are you not with each other cause you like each other as a person?

I’m so sorry you family haven’t been more supportive and dampened your self esteem. I think you need to work on that and maybe some
counselling would help?

This post isn’t about your looks, it’s about you being worried your relationship is breaking down and how you would cope post that with everything (being older, a mum, back in the dating game etc). I can guarantee you are an amazing mum but maybe it’s worth looking at if this relationship is right and worth working on or not.

It’s not your MIL’s decision if your husband has a vasectomy. It’s nothing to do with her, doesn’t matter what her opinion is. Don’t listen to her, laugh it off.

You do need to reflect that 33 is not old…..far from it. If you think you’re husband is on the lookout for a younger woman……well good luck to him, it shows him for what he is….you deserve better.

when you are 60 you will look back at photos of yourself at 33 and think how young you looked.

Get a grip......and a life.