To feel I am losing my looks at 33

[Julember]

I feel so old and sad that my attractiveness is fading, not that I thought I was beautiful or anything, it just makes me sad when I see young, fresh faces 20 somethings and I will never have that back 😩

We seriously need to stop judging ourselves this way. My sister died at 21. 21. Barely an adult.
I prefer to have a busy, active, rewarding life instead of focusing on how my looks might be changing a bit now I'm 30 and I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin.

I hear you! However, I feel so much more relaxed in my own skin at nearly 40 than I did in my younger days. I was good looking (if i do say so myself! Lol,) but less confident and not as happy.
Embrace yourself as you are! Treat yourself to something that'll boost the confidence a bit!
And as others have said, the alternative to growing old, is dying young. Have a walk round your local hospital or hospice (i don't necessarily mean literally) and I bet you'll come out grateful for every inch of yourself.

Ageing and losing your looks does make you realise how the world works and it’s horrible isn’t it 😅 Going through the same here. I wish they’d either tell girls more when they’re younger to mentally prepare or if we could move away from a looks based society, which let’s be honest isn’t going to happen 😩 xxx

This!

If you are that hung up on your looks and happy to be so offensive about those older than 33, I suggest your biggest issue is your sad little personality rather than how you look.

33 is young! I think you were looking more for tips on how to look better? If so re-post as I’m interested in how to look better for my age, so I’ll be following

Bloody hell Julember this is sad!

I think you've lost yourself (not your looks) and need to learn to like yourself as a person.

Hopefully you're so down on yourself because of the sleep deprivation - that will change, things will get easier once the kids sleep through and physically need you less. Of course they'll always need you emotionally but you'll have more time for yourself, and more sleep, in a few years time.

If it helps I think I probably look better now in my late 40s as a mother of teenagers than I did at 33 as a mother of babies and toddlers. Sleep and time to yourself makes all the difference.

I could have written this am 32 and have some whites it freaks me out that am ageing am on a lot of supplements too now like collagen and other vitamins

You are being a bit ridiculous! Women can be beautiful right through old age! It's just a different kind of beautiful. Young women look young and fresh and they don't really need to try to look good. As we get older we know what suits us and often have more confidence. I'm 41 and I am feeling better than I did in my twenties. Eat well, exercise and look after your skin. You will feel better in yourself and naturally feel more confident.
Christina Chang (Dr Lim in the Good Doctor) is 51 and looks incredible. Completely naturally beautiful.

I'm younger than you but with kids I was definitely looking older and worn out. A good skincare routine plus Botox in the forehead and around the eyes has made a huge difference. I used to look tired and frowny all the time and now I look back to how I was before.

Interesting. All the people I know who are in their second marriages in their 40s and 50s are in better relationships now than they were first time around.

If you really feel this way then you need to take a long hard look at yourself and how you perceive women older than you, because right now you're not coming across as a particularly nice person. The one good thing about being older is people spend time with you because they genuinely like you, not because you're 'pretty'.

Prepare them for what? That there are some unpleasant youth obsessed men out there who may not want to have sex with them now they're older? That there are men who will ignore them while they compete with younger men for the attention of young women who wouldn't look at them twice? That there are some deluded old fools who think no matter how old they are they're entitled to a woman their daughter's age?
None of that needs to be life changing for a woman surely?

Stop it right now, OP! Right now. You are you, and as PP have said, appreciate your health and strength.

I'm 50 and think I'm gorgeous. Yes, I'm 3 sizes bigger, my lips and my eyebrows are thinner, my laughter lines are permanent, my skin sags in places, but the sunshine inside shines out to make me gorgeous. I don't have a perfect life, but I'm grateful for so much in it.

This way you're feeling reflects your unhappiness. Do something about that. I felt a shadow of myself in an unhappy marriage with 2 small kids. Now, with a loving partner of 12 years I feel the best I've ever felt. It's not rocket science.

Wow. Imagine being do dismissive of women over 30! If a man said that women over 30 are too old and have too much baggage imagine the reaction.
You are being very unreasonable, to womanhood as a whole.

Age really isn't the issue, you're insecure within your relationships from MIL to DH.

I don't blame you. MIL sounds like a nightmare but your partner is responsible for playing on your insecurities.

In the nicest way, get a grip and get rid of these people.

you are still young, seriously...i wish i was 33, and i feel your pain, im 50 and would love to be 33, i was good looking when i was younger but now my looks are gone and yes i feel it :(

You are of course correct. Only beautiful people aged 32 or under are allowed relationships. Everyone else is obliged to be single, forever.

Do you think dumping your husband & replacing him with a handsome toyboy would make you happy? Because if you want it enough, you can make that happen.

Or - you could change the habit of 3 decades, & wake up to the fact that love, friendship, & decent relationships are not based on being the best looking person in the room.

You should try cultivating and appreciating qualities other than your looks. I'm finding that I'm more valued in my career as I get older, and luckily I have a husband who is interested in personality and intelligence.

Is society run by and for paedophiles?! Jesus. In what world is a 33 year old past it and losing their looks? I'm sick of seeing this shite everywhere and it seems like there's a concerted effort to make women think their lives are over at 30. I never see men talk about being old, grey and wrinkled in their early 30s. Any normal man does not think a woman in their early 30s looks too old.

Yes, maybe you don't look the same as you did at 20, just like you didn't look the same at 20 as you did at 10. You look different and older, but that doesn't mean you look bad because of it.

Imo most of the pressure of women looking and staying young comes from other women, not men. The more women worry about their looks aging and spend hours and money making themselves look younger, the more it pressurises other women into doing the same. Yes, there are men out there who do prefer younger women, but honestly, a huge proportion of them really don't care.

I hardly see fresh-faced 20 somethings it's all flappy flappy eyelashes and big puffy lips and I think why do pretty young girls do that to themselves? They look like mannequins.
We all lose our looks as we get older though, we just embrace it, you can go down the route of flappy flappy eyelashes and puffy lips or you remain natural. Every new crinkle on your face is a chapter of your life story you know, to me the more you have the better the life you had

I’m losing my looks
just as well I’m funny, smart and generous

There's more to life than looks.

Long as you have a personality and some intelligence you'll be fine.

And modest, don't forget modest. 😀