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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have ‘defaced’ this photograph??

818 replies

Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:39

We have lockers at work, in our break room where everyone goes and one co-worker,
Jim, has a photo of a famous, topless page 3 girl on the inside of his door.
the girl in the photo was 16 when it was taken, and he’s had it since around the same age - he wrote into The Sun and got a signed one sent- so it’s very precious to him.

several women have mentioned to Jim that they’d rather he didn’t have it there as the locker door is often left open and we can see it. Jim thinks we’re prudes, because it’s famous page 3 girls, and IN his locker it’s not an issue.

Anyway, cut to last week. I was alone in break room. Locker door was open so I’m looking at this picture. There were Sharpie pens sitting on the table. So I gave the child in the photo quite a substantial bikini top with the permanent marker.

shit has hit the fan! Management don’t quite know what to do. Jim is furious, and the workforce divided into those who think it’s funny and those who think it was wrong.
no-one know who did it… Jim
his suspicions …

So MN, was AIBU??

OP posts:
sittingonacornflake · 14/08/2022 09:40

Amazing!

Original poster
Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:41

Ooohh, divided votes so far. Interesting!

OP posts:
badgerstink · 14/08/2022 09:43

Jim should have taken the photo home for his own personal gratification if that's what Jim gets his rocks off to

I had similar when a colleague had a very religious quote about gods unconditional love on his desk. I wanted it taken down but management didn't know where to put themselves. The quote stayed up. Workplaces are not the place for such things.

P.S Jim sounds a dick

Brefugee · 14/08/2022 09:43

you shouldn't have defaced the photo. You could have taken it down and placed it in the locker, or stuck post-it notes on it.
What you really should do is take a photo of the room with the door open and the tits on show and show your management and tell them, again, that it is unacceptable, makes people uncomfortable and that they MUST do something.

Kitkatcatflap · 14/08/2022 09:44

That is inspired, I like it.

If it was so precious to him then why doesn't he keep it at home

Original poster
Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:45

For those who are saying IABU, curious as to why? Is it because it’s a Page 3 girl or would you usually think it’s okay to have a photo of a top less woman on visible in the workplace when women have asked that it be taken down?
no judgement! Just genuinely curious!

OP posts:
Baconking · 14/08/2022 09:46

What have management said in the past when you've brought to their attention that many of you are offended by Jim's photo?

KrisAkabusi · 14/08/2022 09:47

I said you were unreasonable, because you damaged someone's property. He shouldn't have had it there, there's no excuse for this in the workplace any more, but there were other options other than destroying it.

burnoutbabe · 14/08/2022 09:47

Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:45

For those who are saying IABU, curious as to why? Is it because it’s a Page 3 girl or would you usually think it’s okay to have a photo of a top less woman on visible in the workplace when women have asked that it be taken down?
no judgement! Just genuinely curious!

Yes would it be better or worse if it was Jim's wife!

JobSeekingMissile · 14/08/2022 09:47

KrisAkabusi · 14/08/2022 09:47

I said you were unreasonable, because you damaged someone's property. He shouldn't have had it there, there's no excuse for this in the workplace any more, but there were other options other than destroying it.

Exactly the same reasons I voted yabu

whalleyt · 14/08/2022 09:49

tbf that's quite funny & well done for resisting the urge to do a tache!

whalleyt · 14/08/2022 09:50

16 though that's very ick

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 14/08/2022 09:50

Everyone is unreasonable in this scenario

Jim for putting up the photo
Management for thinking it's acceptable to have a photo like that on display at work
You for permanently defacing it when there were other options available

Original poster
Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:50

‘What have management said in the past when you've brought to their attention that many of you are offended by Jim's photo?’

management are 3 blokes in their 40s and saw no harm as it was in his locker. Plus it was ‘ arty’ apparently. When I said - you know she was famously 16 in that picture, the answer was ‘it was different back then! And 16!is the age of consent.

OP posts:
the80sweregreat · 14/08/2022 09:51

I think I would have asked HR if he could have taken it home rather than deface it : if it was signed it might even be worth money.
I understand why people are upset by it, but he shouldn't have been allowed to put it up in the first place either.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 14/08/2022 09:51

Oh. I don't know

It's the kind of action I'd like to think I'd take. I don't think Jim has any recourse to being offended. He could have kept his locker door closed or taken it home.

Tough!

yellowsmileyface · 14/08/2022 09:51

I think you're brilliant OP! I have no sympathy about his damaged property.

You and others had already tried to communicate your issue with it and that was ignored, so I think YANBU.

Original poster
Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:51

I’m actually quite good mates with Jim! I have talked to him about this photo many times over the years. He knows why we don’t like it.
he keeps looking at me funny… I think he knows 😜

OP posts:
AdInfinitum12 · 14/08/2022 09:52

You're unreasonable because you've permanently defaced someone's property, something you've admitted was very precious to him and he'd had for a long time. If people were uncomfortable with it being in his locker then you/they should have kept complaining to management until something was done about it. There's no excuse to do what you did to someone's property.

SoSoSusan · 14/08/2022 09:53

My initial thought was that you were ur.

However, on further thought if he was asked several times to remove it and refused, I think it was fair enough.

Yanbu.

WaitingForWinter1 · 14/08/2022 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Brefugee · 14/08/2022 09:54

so bring in pictures of naked men. And all women have them prominently displayed? The French Rugby Calendar lads would be great for this, as they are VERY arty (guessing the photo is of Sam Fox?)

I didn't realise they have an Instagram - i was given a book years and years ago, all b/w Arty.

blindedbythefright · 14/08/2022 09:54

You are brilliant! And not unreasonable at all.

WaitingForWinter1 · 14/08/2022 09:54

Do you ever see topless women on holiday? God help you if you ever do - you'd probably cry

Antarcticant · 14/08/2022 09:54

A situation where everyone was being U.

Jim should have taken the photo down when the complaints began
You shouldn't have wilfully damaged someone else's property
Management should have stepped in long ago and told Jim to take the photo down, if he refused to do it at others' requests.