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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have ‘defaced’ this photograph??

818 replies

Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:39

We have lockers at work, in our break room where everyone goes and one co-worker,
Jim, has a photo of a famous, topless page 3 girl on the inside of his door.
the girl in the photo was 16 when it was taken, and he’s had it since around the same age - he wrote into The Sun and got a signed one sent- so it’s very precious to him.

several women have mentioned to Jim that they’d rather he didn’t have it there as the locker door is often left open and we can see it. Jim thinks we’re prudes, because it’s famous page 3 girls, and IN his locker it’s not an issue.

Anyway, cut to last week. I was alone in break room. Locker door was open so I’m looking at this picture. There were Sharpie pens sitting on the table. So I gave the child in the photo quite a substantial bikini top with the permanent marker.

shit has hit the fan! Management don’t quite know what to do. Jim is furious, and the workforce divided into those who think it’s funny and those who think it was wrong.
no-one know who did it… Jim
his suspicions …

So MN, was AIBU??

OP posts:
Original poster
Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 10:03

‘Jim was 16 when he acquired the image, and so was the model.’

True. Buts it’s 48 year old, married father of 3 Jim, who has this picture up in his workplace.

OP posts:
Taketheweather · 14/08/2022 10:03

LOL. I can see how he'd be cross but you know, shit happens, screws fall out, pictures get drawn on, the world's an imperfect place. At least now she adheres to your workplace dress code.

whalleyt · 14/08/2022 10:04

The French Rugby Calendar lads would be great for this, as they are VERY arty

tbf this is the best art i've ever seen

Dotcheck · 14/08/2022 10:04

I voted YABU because you destroyed someone’s property. The property which lived INSIDE HIS locker . Not only did you destroy something that was his, you violated his privacy. I can’t believe everyone who is giving you a high five over this!

And to be clear. I would have complained each and every time I saw it- I don’t agree with ‘page 3’ pics.

You could have done so many other things- like put pictures of giant dongs all over your locker, or created a removable top for the picture.
What he had wasn’t illegal, what you did was vandalism

user1471464218 · 14/08/2022 10:04

His picture that you know is precious to him. No you should not have taken matters into your own hands by drawing on his picture.

Sparklingbrook · 14/08/2022 10:04

Now we have actual 'drooling' what a lot of drama.

Original poster
Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 10:04

‘Hysterical feminist springs to mind.’

whats that?? I want some!

OP posts:
DrDetriment · 14/08/2022 10:05

Jim was unreasonable having the picture at work but you are a nasty human being for destroying something that meant something to someone just because it doesn't fit into your value system. You should have gone through the proper channels at work and made a formal complaint.

yellowsmileyface · 14/08/2022 10:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

There's always one.

Are we only allowed to post about super serious catastrophic problems?

Brefugee · 14/08/2022 10:05

This reply has been deleted

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whalleyt · 14/08/2022 10:05

There is nothing wrong with one 16 year old fancying another 16 year old.

Don't you see anything wrong with a 50 yr old fancying a 16 yr old?

Bretonbear · 14/08/2022 10:05

Why not just take a photo and send to HR?

hookiewookie29 · 14/08/2022 10:06

You asked him several times and he refused.
Management did sod all.
So you dealt with it yourself!
Fair enough!

Pixilicious1 · 14/08/2022 10:06

I’ve said yabu because you shouldn’t have defaced his property, regardless. Management should have dealt with it 100% but it’s not your place to scribble on it. Would you think it’s ok for someone to destroy something of yours that they didn’t agree with?

Kitkatcatflap · 14/08/2022 10:06

Just seen your update - I also assume it's Sam Fox. She only posed for page 3 for three years and gave it up for a singing career.

Jim is being deliberately goady, if he says he has the picture because because she is pretty why not write to the record company for one of the headshots used for her singles?

Maireas · 14/08/2022 10:06

user1471464218 · 14/08/2022 10:04

His picture that you know is precious to him. No you should not have taken matters into your own hands by drawing on his picture.

If it's precious, why isn't it at home?

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 14/08/2022 10:07

whalleyt · 14/08/2022 10:04

The French Rugby Calendar lads would be great for this, as they are VERY arty

tbf this is the best art i've ever seen

rushing to google

Elsanore · 14/08/2022 10:07

Management were the worst. They chose not to act on multiple people's totally reasonable requests not to be forced to see something that made them uncomfortable. Absolutely no reason for that pic to need to be there. Weak, patriarchal, unsupportive management behaviour.

Jim was vile for loads of reasons and probably was getting some perverse enjoyment out of forcing others to look at the image they had told him made them uncomfortable.

I'm not sure what I would have done in your shoes, finding myself in the locker room with access to the pic and no witnesses.

I smiled and laughed when I read your post and thought good for you though.

whalleyt · 14/08/2022 10:07

MN is increasing being flooded with first world problems!

the irony

jeaux90 · 14/08/2022 10:07

Managers are to blame here, clearly fine to degrade 50% of the population rather than piss of one middle aged man.

Good for you OP.

Maireas · 14/08/2022 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

🤣 imagine! They want the vote as well.
That's a step too far.

Sparklingbrook · 14/08/2022 10:08

If it wasn't destroyed he could have at least taken it home. Sticking something over the whole picture would have been a start perhaps, not ruining it completely. But that wouldn't have got everyone cheering and clapping presumably?

FOJN · 14/08/2022 10:09

I can't get worked up about you defacing a photo which was inappropriate for the workplace.

Jim knew it made his female colleagues uncomfortable, he could have taken the photo home or even just kept his locker door shut but he was entitled enough to carry on pleasing himself and dismissing his colleagues discomfort.

Your polite requests failed so you took action. Tough shit for Jim.

The misogyny on this thread is appalling, "silly little girl", "hysterical feminist". The subject of the photo was 16 for goodness sake.

Arguing it's OK because it was acceptable a the time the photo was taken is like arguing its OK for 8 years olds to receive no education and work a 60 hour week in a factory.

EkinWho · 14/08/2022 10:09

Can't vote on phone but YANBU. It's given me a giggle, nae luck Jim.

Luxa · 14/08/2022 10:09

YANBU.