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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have ‘defaced’ this photograph??

818 replies

Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:39

We have lockers at work, in our break room where everyone goes and one co-worker,
Jim, has a photo of a famous, topless page 3 girl on the inside of his door.
the girl in the photo was 16 when it was taken, and he’s had it since around the same age - he wrote into The Sun and got a signed one sent- so it’s very precious to him.

several women have mentioned to Jim that they’d rather he didn’t have it there as the locker door is often left open and we can see it. Jim thinks we’re prudes, because it’s famous page 3 girls, and IN his locker it’s not an issue.

Anyway, cut to last week. I was alone in break room. Locker door was open so I’m looking at this picture. There were Sharpie pens sitting on the table. So I gave the child in the photo quite a substantial bikini top with the permanent marker.

shit has hit the fan! Management don’t quite know what to do. Jim is furious, and the workforce divided into those who think it’s funny and those who think it was wrong.
no-one know who did it… Jim
his suspicions …

So MN, was AIBU??

OP posts:
DdraigGoch · 15/08/2022 13:02

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 12:58

The age of consent is 16.

And? Yes, 16 year olds are allowed to have sex with whoever they like, even if it's a creepy old man. The fact remains that it is still illegal to possess indecent pictures of them, even if those pictures were created before 2003.

DdraigGoch · 15/08/2022 13:03

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 12:59

Do you eat meat?
Lots of people (including me) think that the slaughter of a living creature to provide burgers for humans is unethical. Would you be ok with me damaging your property if I see you cooking meat in it?

Eating meat is not illegal.

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:03

DdraigGoch · 15/08/2022 13:02

And? Yes, 16 year olds are allowed to have sex with whoever they like, even if it's a creepy old man. The fact remains that it is still illegal to possess indecent pictures of them, even if those pictures were created before 2003.

If it’s illegal, the OP should have contacted the police.

PoseyFlump · 15/08/2022 13:03

@Thereisnolight no I've just said I don't. I'm a vegan. But eating meat isn't illegal.

I'm talking of illegal plants and bending the rules. Ie going against a governments judgment of a plant's legal status for the greater good of providing pain relief.

DdraigGoch · 15/08/2022 13:04

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:03

If it’s illegal, the OP should have contacted the police.

Oh come on, you can't even get an officer out if you've been burgled these days.

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:04

DdraigGoch · 15/08/2022 13:03

Eating meat is not illegal.

But it is unethical.

And the point posters are making is that we shouldn’t wait for incompetent authorities. We should bend the rules and take action by damaging property if we disagree with something.

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:06

So if I personally disagree with eating meat can I damage the property of a meat eater?

Or since using illegal plants IS illegal, can I damage the property of someone who uses illegal plants?

Sparklingbrook · 15/08/2022 13:06

Yes taking matters into your own hands is always the best course of action, never ever go through the normal channels. Hmm

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:06

Where does it end?

DdraigGoch · 15/08/2022 13:07

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:04

But it is unethical.

And the point posters are making is that we shouldn’t wait for incompetent authorities. We should bend the rules and take action by damaging property if we disagree with something.

It's unethical in your view. That view is not shared by lawmakers, nor my most of society.

Possessing indecent images of children is both unethical (in the view of most of society and illegal.

PoseyFlump · 15/08/2022 13:08

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:02

But if I did have a problem with 70 year olds using illegal plants would it be ok for me to damage their property?

That's for you to decide. It would be a strange moral code to risk being charged for but again, I'd rather live in a society like that than one where no-one ever dares to take a stand. I guess I'm saying we are in danger as a nation of being too compliant. All this 'be kind' be quiet, don't speak out. I think it's dangerous long term and the worlds going to face some major problems in the coming years. We need to be ready to take a stand!

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:09

So if you disagree with something it’s ok to damage property? But if someone else disagrees with something it’s not ok? Who gets to decide what’s ok?

ReneBumsWombats · 15/08/2022 13:09

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:06

Where does it end?

With ridiculous false equivalences.

DdraigGoch · 15/08/2022 13:09

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:06

So if I personally disagree with eating meat can I damage the property of a meat eater?

Or since using illegal plants IS illegal, can I damage the property of someone who uses illegal plants?

If you were to destroy someone's cannabis factory, I can imagine that any complaint of criminal damage that they make to the police should give the cops a good laugh.

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:10

ReneBumsWombats · 15/08/2022 13:09

With ridiculous false equivalences.

Hardly ridiculous.
Lots of animal rights activists have been arrested for damaging the property of people who slaughter animals

DdraigGoch · 15/08/2022 13:11

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:09

So if you disagree with something it’s ok to damage property? But if someone else disagrees with something it’s not ok? Who gets to decide what’s ok?

Well the law makes a few judgements on what property it is illegal to possess.

Drugs = No
Indecent images of children = No
Bacon sandwiches = Yes

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:12

DdraigGoch · 15/08/2022 13:11

Well the law makes a few judgements on what property it is illegal to possess.

Drugs = No
Indecent images of children = No
Bacon sandwiches = Yes

So you’re saying let the law deal with it?

No people taking matters into their own hands to damage property then?

or not? Which is it?

DdraigGoch · 15/08/2022 13:13

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:10

Hardly ridiculous.
Lots of animal rights activists have been arrested for damaging the property of people who slaughter animals

Because slaughtering animals (assuming that it's done in accordance with the law) is not illegal.

By the way, trying to pretend that meat eaters are equivalent to paedophiles is the sort of thing that gives vegans such a bad name.

DdraigGoch · 15/08/2022 13:16

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:12

So you’re saying let the law deal with it?

No people taking matters into their own hands to damage property then?

or not? Which is it?

I'm saying that if someone's stash of drugs ended up down the drain, or someone's wank bank found its way into the shredder, I wouldn't lose any sleep. And nor would the police.

tootiredforanything · 15/08/2022 13:18

Well done! It should have been taken down ages ago.

We are in 2022. A workplace is no longer the place for any topless photos, regardless of the age of the model!

PoseyFlump · 15/08/2022 13:19

@Thereisnolight in your world there would not have been any suffragettes.

tootiredforanything · 15/08/2022 13:19

And tell him to report it to HR.

For some reason, I doubt he will!

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:21

DdraigGoch · 15/08/2022 13:13

Because slaughtering animals (assuming that it's done in accordance with the law) is not illegal.

By the way, trying to pretend that meat eaters are equivalent to paedophiles is the sort of thing that gives vegans such a bad name.

I was objecting to the point some posters made that regardless of what the authorities think, if you disapprove of something you should take action and destroy property. According to them, whether or not the activity is illegal doesn’t matter.

My point is that you shouldn’t do that. Your own disapproval of something doesn’t entitle you to destroy property. Otherwise everyone who disagreed with something (illegal or not) would go around destroying property.

Spelling it out as clearly as I can.

Thereisnolight · 15/08/2022 13:22

PoseyFlump · 15/08/2022 13:19

@Thereisnolight in your world there would not have been any suffragettes.

They would have achieved their aims without damaging things.

EdBallsDay · 15/08/2022 13:28

Boobsakimbo2 · 15/08/2022 09:33

Final update!
Jim deffo knew it was me - he asked and I didn’t deny it, just said ‘should that picture have been up here in the first place?’
he walked off.
turns out I’m not getting fired, or prosecuted for criminal damage or marched through the streets while people shout ‘witch!’ despite the concerns of some posters about Jim’s rights.
most of the staff seem amused, and manager has apparently just shrugged it off with a ‘
tough’ not much we can do and do you HONESTLY except me to investigate this???

end of. Sanity and common sense prevailed.

Haha!

No "shame" march for objecting to child pornography then.

Good!

Management should have dealt with it when staff first raised the issue. Or, if they were competent, noticed and dealt with it themselves before staff had to raise it.

Let's hope Jim rethinks his perspectives and stops perving on teenagers' bodies. Yuk.

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