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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

That (many/some) people on here are nuts?!

78 replies

bluebellsandcustard · 03/08/2022 16:57

I'm perpetually puzzled about why replies to messages have to be so bitchy! Why though?
I genuinely don't understand why people are not more supportive to those who are clearly in need. Surely that's the point isn't it?
And why so rude??

I genuinely don't understand it. Surely you wouldn't do it or say such things in real life?

I think I'm stuck in the last century......

OP posts:

Youdoyoutoday · 03/08/2022 17:01

Agreed!!

And the thread police with all the questions!

Haven't you posted about this before?
First post, you're new so nothing you say is true!
Spots a spelling mistake, I can't possible understand what you mean, are you on glue?

It's certainly getting worse since I joined about 8 years ago

ivykaty44 · 03/08/2022 17:03

Im def nuts, completely bonkers

lightand · 03/08/2022 17:03

Gosh yes.
Why I dont hang around the site for too long.

Wouldnt hang around with such people in real life. Dont see why I would on social media either.

Teddletime · 03/08/2022 17:06

I am still reeling over a a poster complaining that her 102 year old grandmother had said something tactless to her and posters rushed to call the grandmother a C*nt. There is a lot of talk about female solidarity on here unless the female in question is a MIL, SIL or old. I am shocked by the venom and nastiness of some posters.

Edgeog · 03/08/2022 17:09

The thread about a woman who was talking about only having 5 days to off her husband to get his pension - I read it and thought it was hilarious. By the time I'd replies there were several really nasty comments! I was like 🙄here we go again.

Garysparrowsthirdwife · 03/08/2022 17:10

Im ashamed I was once bitchy on here

id been at work,had the shift from hell,had taken so much crap from everyone all day,was fucking asleep on my feet and had come home,opened a thread on about my job and how useless we all are and how we should ‘get proper jobs’ and I snapped

i regret it-I should have just closed it and moved on but I’ve chalked it up to experience and I won’t do it again

i promise I’m lovely in real life!

Intellectualmalaise · 03/08/2022 17:10

Totally agree - I wince when I read some of the replies on here, so uncalled for.

echoecha · 03/08/2022 17:12

Of course loads of people on here are nuts. People are nuts in real life, but it's a particular kind of nuts on here. Anyone mentioning anything along the lines of a holiday, or a larger than matchbox-sized house or kids doing well in some shape or form is accused of 'stealth boasting', being 'tone deaf' or even a 'troll.' It's like people have never I opened their eyes and looked around them and realised that, in life, people are not all like them! They seem genuinely shocked that people have different lifestyles.

If you are on maternity leave or a SAHM you are now "living off a man" apparently. Only on MN! It's as if marriage means nothing. People who have husbands of the "separate finances" mentality seem to have convinced themselves they are delighted by this because it's "independence." There are some posters on here who are literally seething about SAHMs to the point you wonder if they are ok. Never met anyone remotely like this in real life.

royly · 03/08/2022 17:12

yep, I had no idea that's how some people's brains work.

Itisasecret · 03/08/2022 17:18

Yes they are. It used to be known as the “Boden” site. I think people have forgotten the demographic this site was originally aimed at. You see that from all the “troll” posts. It would be expected that many people on here have decent incomes. Yet there is this expectation that everyone who doesn’t profess to live in poverty is a liar.

Then the ones who demand evidence or the OP to prove themselves to a random stranger. They come across as quite odd with no sense of
appropriate boundaries.

Or the ones who demand receipts (ref, link) like they are professor of a red brick uni. If you care so much don’t be lazy and use google.

The people who restlessly tag posters they don’t agree with have far too much time on their hands (turn off notifications always).

Youdoyoutoday · 03/08/2022 17:21

@echoecha ah yes! Who can forget the weekly SAHM weekly bashing thread!

Kite22 · 03/08/2022 17:41

I assumed you were going to say some of the people that start threads on here are bonkers. I could agree with that.

Thing being, there are hundreds of thousands of people who post on here.
If you randomly threw a net over 300 000 people in real life, you would come across some very strange people indeed. Including people who hold some quite out there opinions, and people who are cruel and people who are angry. As well as people who are kind, helpful, knowledgeable, funny, just like on here. Some will agree with you, others not. Some will be quite blunt, a tiny minority will be rude, some will just agree because the OP happens to be a woman moaning about a man, some will be more objective.
Generally, the more controversial the OP is,, then the more controversial the replies will be.

Brandnewwoman · 03/08/2022 17:43

Yes ,lots of people are nuts on here but that's what makes it so good .
In real life it can be a case of Birds of a feather flock together and you don't get an opportunity to experience all these differing and sometimes crazy beliefs and opinions !

I love it !
It can drive me mad ,make me concerned ,teach me things I didn't know and I never cease to be both amazed and shocked by what I read !
Long live mumsnet and all the unexpected things it reveals to me .

boingy · 03/08/2022 17:45

Agree.
Some people just come on here to find a thread they can be a bitch on.

RunningFromInsanity · 03/08/2022 17:50

Sometimes people are just more honest on here than they can be in real life because they don’t have to deal with the fallout.
We all have things that we’d love to say to friends/family in real life but we don’t.
On here, we can be blunt and tell some harsh truths.

bubblescoop · 03/08/2022 17:55

We don’t need another faux I just don’t understand! #bekind thread.

If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen.

RenegadeMatron · 03/08/2022 17:55

Agree Brandnewwoman - Mumsnet is a window into another world every day for me - it’s fascinating

As for the subject of the OP - you’re naive if you don’t think a huge anonymous forum isn’t going to result in people speaking their minds and saying things they wouldn’t say IRL.

(Personally, I also think you’re naive to even start your own thread on here - I never would, and use MN for entertainment purposes only, but each to their own).

Yes, there are vast swathes of nut jobs on here, but for me, it’s completely outweighed by the positives - there is also much intelligent, hilarious content on here that more than makes up for the whack jobs.

It also is a place where people can get great support. It’s a tiny corner of the internet - the world, even - where women are centred, women’s opinions are heard without being drowned out by men. Where women are told it’s OK not to accept shit. And it’s OK to not be OK with it. Where women are told they deserve better (when they clearly do), and where women are supported when they make big life-changing decisions.

I’ve learnt heaps on here, and I love it.

Vaws · 03/08/2022 17:59

I wouldn’t say it’s been a Boden sort of place for a couple of years, to be honest.

Once, a high proportion of users had a degree, lived in or around London, (tellingly) were white and from mid to high income brackets.

Now, I think the site is a lot more diverse in some ways but narrower in others.

Bettysnow · 03/08/2022 18:06

Its really fascinating how sheep like people are. The first say 5 replies to a thread usually always decide whether they are going to be nasty or nice. Mid thread someone suddenly sticks up for the op, several people follow and suddenly the tide has totally turned

capedavenger · 03/08/2022 18:07

I have a theory that the people who are consistently nasty, in real life are actually people who are sweet and kind to everybody and never speak up for themselves. Then they come on to Mumsnet to release their dark side sort of like a pressure valve.

AceofPentacles · 03/08/2022 18:10

I've been here for 12 years and I've decided to delete the app today. It's always been a nest of vipers but the insults now (as above) are just so DULL and pointless.

WhoAre · 03/08/2022 18:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Cheeseandlobster · 03/08/2022 18:13

The ones that rile me are the ones where a op types something like "I am distraught. I caught dh having sex with a girl from work" Cue some massive arsehole being all goady going "Your dh is having sex with a CHILD? " Then pleading ignorance when other posters pull them up on being an arse to someone who is obviously upset

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 03/08/2022 18:17

ivykaty44 · 03/08/2022 17:03

Im def nuts, completely bonkers

We share glue. 👍

At least I think it was you? 🤔

hattie43 · 03/08/2022 18:21

I hate the trolls who call everyone a c@unt or vile with literally zero to add to the debate / conversation.

It's like they exist to rip into people .

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