Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is absolutely disgusting or am I missing something?

97 replies

veralera · 27/05/2022 14:48

I met my brothers new girlfriend last night. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't too keen. Something about her seemed off to me but I never get too involved in his relationships anyway. I put it down to maybe nerves etc but I just didn't get a good vibe from her.

Anyway to my surprise, she sent me an Instagram follow request which I accepted and returned as I'm thinking is a nice gesture from her.

I was scrolling through her pictures and I came across this one of her ex boyfriend and her child.s The ex boyfriend is not the sons father.

The ex boyfriend is holding the child (I'm unsure of how old he is, maybe 5ish) in one arm and holding a cup in the other.

The cup says 'I LOVE ANAL'

He is holding up the cup with the child and they are both smiling at the camera.

Am I wrong to find this massively disturbing? I just don't get it. Am I missing something?

All I can see is a man holding a child not belonging to him along with a sexual reference.

If I'm over reacting or missing something then please tell me. I'm very close to my brother and I know he really want us to get on. I will try regardless but something just sits un easy with me.

Just to add, my brother isn't on social media at all so he will not have seen this picture.

OP posts:
Antarcticant · 27/05/2022 14:50

Crass and tasteless.

DenholmElliot1 · 27/05/2022 14:50

Yes, it's inappropriate.

CherryRipe1 · 27/05/2022 14:53

Urgh. Wrong on every level.

Johnnysgirl · 27/05/2022 14:54

Well, no ones going to disagree, op...

veralera · 27/05/2022 14:55

I just worry he's heading down the wrong path again here. He seems to be attracted women that are just not right for him at all.

He's been through a lot and now we are closer as siblings. Not sure wether to show him this or not? He has met her child also.

OP posts:
veralera · 27/05/2022 14:56

Johnnysgirl · 27/05/2022 14:54

Well, no ones going to disagree, op...

To be honest I just wondered if there was one disturbingly hidden joke behind it that i just couldn't see.

OP posts:
RealBecca · 27/05/2022 14:57

Would your brother find it funny?

DenholmElliot1 · 27/05/2022 14:59

He's met her child? So thats at least 3 men that you know of that have been in that little kids life. She not exactly covering herself in glory here but you won't get any thanks from your brother if you tell him so.

What's your brothers living situation?

Cherrysherbet · 27/05/2022 15:04

Just so wrong. I would totally judge someone that would allow a pic taken of their child like this.
Absolutely disgusting. No excuse for it.
The fact that she openly wanted you to see her social media with this photo available says ALOT about her moral compass.
Your brother should run a mile. Red flag.

Chikapu · 27/05/2022 15:08

What are you hoping to achieve by showing it to your brother?

Testina · 27/05/2022 15:11

Why don’t you talk to your brother about his responsibility to say, “too soon” to meeting this child? You can’t change his girlfriend, but you can encourage him to look to his own behaviour.

TunaSalad · 27/05/2022 15:14

I swear this isn't the first time I have read a thread about this cup. Deja Vu!

PurpleButterflyWings · 27/05/2022 15:16

Are you sure they're not a fan of narrow boats, and it said 'I love canals?' (but it had just faded a bit in the dishwasher?)

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 27/05/2022 15:18

is it just an unfortunate picture and the mug says I love analytics? Only ask working in data I have seen these mugs / badges.

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 27/05/2022 15:18

Are you sure it says ANAL ? Could he be holding the cup in such a way some letters are not visible?

If not, then, yes, it's crass beyond belief.

veralera · 27/05/2022 15:18

PurpleButterflyWings · 27/05/2022 15:16

Are you sure they're not a fan of narrow boats, and it said 'I love canals?' (but it had just faded a bit in the dishwasher?)

This was the type of reply I was hoping for but sadly not! Though the handle of the cup is shaped like a C....

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 27/05/2022 15:19

'I love analytics'?

veralera · 27/05/2022 15:19

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 27/05/2022 15:18

is it just an unfortunate picture and the mug says I love analytics? Only ask working in data I have seen these mugs / badges.

Maybe if could, but it clearly is a the word 'Anal' in the photo so regardless

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 27/05/2022 15:21

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 27/05/2022 15:18

is it just an unfortunate picture and the mug says I love analytics? Only ask working in data I have seen these mugs / badges.

Cross post :)

Despinetta · 27/05/2022 15:23

I love analytic philosophy? I love analiese dodds? I love bacchanalia? I love psychoanalysis?

Honestly, I find any of these easier to believe than that there is a man out there drinking his coffee from a mug that says “I love anal”.

ATadConfused · 27/05/2022 15:23

canal boats

its a MUG

Admittedly one which would have quickly found it's way to the bin here, but you'd have had to going through her photos with a fine tooth comb to find it.

you don't like her, just hope it fizzles out quickly!

veralera · 27/05/2022 15:25

Ok so regarding my brother, he has his own flat, only one bedroom. He owns it.

My brother is the sweetest and kindest man. He doesn't have a bad bone in his body and he is absolutely desperate to settle down and have a family.

But unfortunately, he just attracts the wrong women and they all seem to take advantage or they leave him because he doesn't have much about him.

I don't know wether I want to show him this or not. I doubt it would make a difference if I did as he's pretty smitten so it could easily just end up in ruining my relationship with him which I don't want.

OP posts:
Maisa45 · 27/05/2022 15:26

Going to go against the grain here but I think you are overreacting. Certainly a bit weird that her ex is posing with this cup and her kid but it's hardly the end of the world.

Johnnysgirl · 27/05/2022 15:27

Maisa45 · 27/05/2022 15:26

Going to go against the grain here but I think you are overreacting. Certainly a bit weird that her ex is posing with this cup and her kid but it's hardly the end of the world.

She is not remotely over reacting.
Your standards appear to be quite low.

veralera · 27/05/2022 15:29

Maisa45 · 27/05/2022 15:26

Going to go against the grain here but I think you are overreacting. Certainly a bit weird that her ex is posing with this cup and her kid but it's hardly the end of the world.

No that's absolutely fine. I could easily be! I just felt something was off with her yesterday, almost like she showed no interest in myself or my family and wasn't interested in getting to know us.

You know when you just get that gut feeling?

The rest of her Instagram looks fine, it was just this one picture

OP posts: