Page 6 | Is you’re husband as stupid as mine?

MyHusbandIsVeryStupid · 2022-05-26T18:28:34+00:00

I went out for dinner last night with a bunch of my husbands work colleagues who I’ve not met before. We all got on great but I could tell there was a weird vibe between me and them. Do you want to know why? My job is a sexual health advisor. Turns out when asked what I do he’s been telling people I’m a sex worker. He actually thought that’s what sex worker meant. Thankfully I’ve put everyone straight and the weird tension eased. But omg what a bloody idiot. Aibu to think he wins the stupid man award?

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 26/05/2022 23:13

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 26/05/2022 22:25

My idiot husband just manages to injure himself in stupid ways.

Oh I have one of these too!

He decided it would be sensible to trim down a bath panel with a Stanley knife whilst it was leaning on his thigh.

Many stitches needed.

BrilloSolar · 26/05/2022 23:15

Ah well, at least he didn't eat a fat ball.

RishiRich · 26/05/2022 23:17

shreddednips · 26/05/2022 21:16

😆 this isn't job-related but somewhat similar. When I was about 16, I was emailing my German exchange partner (who I hadn't met yet) and wanted to write that I was very excited to meet him. My German was pretty poor at this stage. I wrote that I was very aroused to meet him 😖

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I went to a foreign university where about half the exams were done by having an interview with the lecturer. I was still picking up the language and also told my not-at-all sexy geography lecturer that the subject of that particular module aroused me 🙄

eurochick · 26/05/2022 23:21

Er @MyHusbandIsVeryStupid a snail trail is what you find in your pants (from discharge). Why was your small child talking about it to his PE teacher...?

TidyDancer · 26/05/2022 23:24

eurochick · 26/05/2022 23:21

Er @MyHusbandIsVeryStupid a snail trail is what you find in your pants (from discharge). Why was your small child talking about it to his PE teacher...?

A snail trail is the line of hair from the naval to below the waistband.

runnerblade95 · 26/05/2022 23:24

Haha oh yes he definitely wins the stupid man award but I assure you, my DH would definitely be a close 2nd place in this regard 😄

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 26/05/2022 23:27

@TidyDancer

No, it is not. Where on earth did you get that idea from?

A snail trail is the line of hair that goes from your pubic hair up your belly towards your belly button. Men normally have them, it's called a snail trail. Some women also grow hair along that line during pregnancy, coming higher up than their hair normally would.

Snail trail is a really normal, common name for that line of hair on men. Women can have it too.

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 26/05/2022 23:28

Sorry @TidyDancer
I tagged the wrong person!
Meant to tag @eurochick in my above post.

TidyDancer · 26/05/2022 23:31

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 26/05/2022 23:28

Sorry @TidyDancer
I tagged the wrong person!
Meant to tag @eurochick in my above post.

Ha! I was going to say, I think you might have me confused with someone else there! 😂

Booklover3 · 26/05/2022 23:34

😂

worraliberty · 26/05/2022 23:45

That's interesting about a snail trail being a name for hair.

Perhaps it's area dependant but around here (Essex/London) it's definitely women's discharge.

Think about the actual slimy trail a snail leaves behind and it makes more sense.

ExMex · 26/05/2022 23:50

MyHusbandIsVeryStupid · 26/05/2022 19:49

One of them had mentioned that their daughter was starting to ask questions about sex, and they were unsure how to approach it.

“oh, ask Mrs Stupid, she’s a sex worker.” says Mr Stupid.
“wtf did you just say?!”

Que all the awkward faces then the laughing then the blushing of Mr Stupid as I explained my ACTUAL job and why he’s an idiot and should never speak to anyone again.

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This is the funniest thing ever and totally worth waking the baby for with my snorting out laughing...

NewBootsAndRanty · 26/05/2022 23:57

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 26/05/2022 23:27

@TidyDancer

No, it is not. Where on earth did you get that idea from?

A snail trail is the line of hair that goes from your pubic hair up your belly towards your belly button. Men normally have them, it's called a snail trail. Some women also grow hair along that line during pregnancy, coming higher up than their hair normally would.

Snail trail is a really normal, common name for that line of hair on men. Women can have it too.

I've heard it called the "happy trail" before...

worraliberty · 27/05/2022 00:01

MyHusbandIsVeryStupid · 26/05/2022 21:31

My job title also came up in conversation because I have a job interview tomorrow, for those wondering.

I'm confused here.

I thought your job title came up in conversation because...

One of them had mentioned that their daughter was starting to ask questions about sex, and they were unsure how to approach it.
oh, ask Mrs Stupid, she’s a sex worker. says Mr Stupid.

Sorry, having a dim moment here.

WeDoNotTalktoPennilynLott · 27/05/2022 00:04

ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASaving · 26/05/2022 20:29

My partner didn't know what the phrase "pillow talk" meant, he thought it just meant chatting in bed. We are both developers and often chat about the code we're working on in the evenings. Recently he started a new job and was having a "get to know you" chat with his female line manager and told her that he and I talk about coding for our pillow talk. When I later told him what pillow talk actually meant he looked like the ground might swallow him up. I'm not sure he's been able to look her in the eye since!

I thought pillow talk literally was just chatting in bed? What do you think it means?

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 27/05/2022 00:08

NancyDrooo · 26/05/2022 20:10

Years ago… word was the new dad in the school playground was high up in MI5. Hush hush, not to be mentioned. Looked the part too, handsome and a bit mysterious.

Except a few months later another mum went sofa shopping in the next town along and was shocked to see him… store manager at MFI.

This one is my favourite.

IDreamOfTheMoors · 27/05/2022 00:14

My stupid insulting husband for an entire year before I met them, told his macho shithead pilot friends that I was “just a secretary.”

So when I finally met them, one of their very condescending snobby wives asked me, “So Eric says you’re a secretary?”

I answered, “Well, actually, I’m aide to Senator So & So.” (A history-making Senator in the USA)

I swear those wives were disappointed that I wasn’t “just a secretary.”

And I was “just a secretary” for the first twenty years of my career. Secretaries work their asses off.

Original poster

MyHusbandIsVeryStupid · 27/05/2022 00:15

worraliberty · 27/05/2022 00:01

I'm confused here.

I thought your job title came up in conversation because...

One of them had mentioned that their daughter was starting to ask questions about sex, and they were unsure how to approach it.
oh, ask Mrs Stupid, she’s a sex worker. says Mr Stupid.

Sorry, having a dim moment here.

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That’s why I put “also”. It came up twice.

OP posts:

candlemaker22 · 27/05/2022 00:16

MyHusbandIsVeryStupid · 26/05/2022 19:29

And my autocorrect changed your to you’re and now I look fucking stupid too.

Amazing

declutteringmymind · 27/05/2022 00:16

These are hilarious.

My husband in the last few weeks has

Emptied a dirty dishwasher

Jet washed love hearts and my name using the jet wash a cm away from the surface of the drive. So it's not going away soon. I've seen better on the back door of the toilet at the local secondary school. Parking strategically now.

Topseyt123 · 27/05/2022 00:49

Toddlerteaplease · 26/05/2022 22:41

Pillow talk is just chatting in bed right?

Yes. It is.

Aussiegirl123456 · 27/05/2022 00:54

Oh wow, that’s absolutely hilarious!
My husband was a carpenter years ago, so I was so sure he spent those days laying carpet. What’s worse is that I was brought up pretty heavily religious and I knew Joseph was also a carpenter and…. Well, I’m a stupid as your husband.

My son also told his teachers that ‘mummy wants cocaine for mother’s day’ when what I actually asked for was Chanel lipstick.

Thank goodness you managed to find out the reason why they were so stand-offish and put them right. I bet that was a giggle!

Topseyt123 · 27/05/2022 01:26

Aussiegirl123456 · 27/05/2022 00:54

Oh wow, that’s absolutely hilarious!
My husband was a carpenter years ago, so I was so sure he spent those days laying carpet. What’s worse is that I was brought up pretty heavily religious and I knew Joseph was also a carpenter and…. Well, I’m a stupid as your husband.

My son also told his teachers that ‘mummy wants cocaine for mother’s day’ when what I actually asked for was Chanel lipstick.

Thank goodness you managed to find out the reason why they were so stand-offish and put them right. I bet that was a giggle!

Many years ago I worked in a London office with a French lady. An area of carpet needed replacing and she was phoning round carpenters (in yellow pages, it was pre internet) trying to get one to come in and do the job. She couldn't understand why she was having no success.

She was a pretty humourless person and she and I really weren't that compatible. We didn't get on. She was very displeased with me when I explained that a carpenter works with wood, not carpets and that she needed a carpet fitter instead. That was apparently my fault and she really took offence at it. 🙄

I left soon after that as there was a toxic atmosphere that pervaded the whole place and a culture of bullying. The only thing I look back on and laugh about a little is the carpenter/carpet fitter thing, and her ridiculous reaction to it when I explained it.

Thepossibility · 27/05/2022 02:48

Topseyt123 · 27/05/2022 00:49

Yes. It is.

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Err, no it's not. It's talking dirty while having sex. Chatting in bed is called chatting in bed.

Topseyt123 · 27/05/2022 02:56

Chatting in bed is pillow talk. It does not have to be anything to do with sex.