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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is you’re husband as stupid as mine?

262 replies

MyHusbandIsVeryStupid · 26/05/2022 19:28

I went out for dinner last night with a bunch of my husbands work colleagues who I’ve not met before. We all got on great but I could tell there was a weird vibe between me and them.

Do you want to know why?

My job is a sexual health advisor.

Turns out when asked what I do he’s been telling people I’m a sex worker.

He actually thought that’s what sex worker meant. Thankfully I’ve put everyone straight and the weird tension eased. But omg what a bloody idiot.

Aibu to think he wins the stupid man award?

OP posts:
UniversalAunt · 27/05/2022 04:51

‘Chatting in bed is pillow talk. It does not have to be anything to do with sex.’

Have you put the cat out?

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/05/2022 05:15

LaQuern · 26/05/2022 19:31

Oh god that's so funny Grin glad you set everyone straight OP.

How long did it take before you found out he'd told them you were a sex worker?

When you said that, my first thought was the thread title! 🙈

No dh doesn’t say absolute clangers. That would be me…. Very occasionally. When I was school, I wrote in French about how a relative likes playing bowels. I was talking about bowls.

Aussiegirl123456 · 27/05/2022 05:26

Topseyt123 · 27/05/2022 02:56

Chatting in bed is pillow talk. It does not have to be anything to do with sex.

Pillow talk is chatting intimately while in bed…

Maireas · 27/05/2022 05:27

IDreamOfTheMoors · 27/05/2022 00:14

My stupid insulting husband for an entire year before I met them, told his macho shithead pilot friends that I was “just a secretary.”

So when I finally met them, one of their very condescending snobby wives asked me, “So Eric says you’re a secretary?”

I answered, “Well, actually, I’m aide to Senator So & So.” (A history-making Senator in the USA)

I swear those wives were disappointed that I wasn’t “just a secretary.”

And I was “just a secretary” for the first twenty years of my career. Secretaries work their asses off.

I was going to say, there's nothing wrong with being a secretary. It's a good and necessary job. How arrogant of them.

Maireas · 27/05/2022 05:28

So. An adult male in the 21st century doesn't know what a sex worker is?
Extraordinary.

Aussiegirl123456 · 27/05/2022 05:29

Pressed send too soon…

There’s a shop here in Australia that sells bedding and home decor, called pillow talk snigger!
Intimate doesn’t necessarily mean sexual, so you’re correct. I didn’t mean to tag the previous quote, was supposed to be quoting the person who said pillow talk is sexy talk in bed, which it isn’t. But can be. Depends on what one would think is intimate??

yikes liquid lunch fridays aren’t good for coming on the mumsnet - sorry mums!

Battygirll · 27/05/2022 06:10

So, your husband told all and sundry that you are a sex worker? For three years? Surely he must have got some confused looks that made him question his use of the term?

I'm sorry, I think there is some exaggeration here! Grin

Whooshaagh · 27/05/2022 06:11

Pillow talk is just general conversation which takes place usually after sex when a couple is relaxed.
The Profumo affair was a big deal because Profumo, the secretary of state for war, was sleeping with Christine Keeler who was also sleeping with Ygeveney Ivanov, a naval attaché at the Soviet embassy. Hence pillow talk being potentially a security threat.

Maireas · 27/05/2022 06:53

Battygirll · 27/05/2022 06:10

So, your husband told all and sundry that you are a sex worker? For three years? Surely he must have got some confused looks that made him question his use of the term?

I'm sorry, I think there is some exaggeration here! Grin

Of course colleagues would question it. Everyone knows what that term means.

starlingdarling · 27/05/2022 07:04

If my colleague told me his wife was a sex worker my face might show my confusion but I'd be too polite to question it 🤣

BerryPieandCustard · 27/05/2022 07:11

My husband once ate 2.5 daffodils 🌼

they were on a glass (could not find a vase!) in water on the kitchen window sill. They were all closed up with now flower showing. He thought they were spring onions (why they would be in water I have no idea!).

Violent stomach cramps, vomiting and diarrhoea ensued along with a trip to A&E. Apparently daffodils are poisonous.

eurochick · 27/05/2022 07:14

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 26/05/2022 23:27

@TidyDancer

No, it is not. Where on earth did you get that idea from?

A snail trail is the line of hair that goes from your pubic hair up your belly towards your belly button. Men normally have them, it's called a snail trail. Some women also grow hair along that line during pregnancy, coming higher up than their hair normally would.

Snail trail is a really normal, common name for that line of hair on men. Women can have it too.

It's really not where I'm from (South East). It makes no sense - snails do not leave a trail of fluffy hair behind them. They do leave a slimy track...

If it's a regional thing let's hope there were no southerners in the OP's son's class.

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 27/05/2022 07:18

@Lansonmaid
"My DH took his French O level as an adult and when he did the oral exam was asked about his hobbies. His reply could have got him arrested as because of saying J'aime le voile (I like sailing) he answered J'aime le viol (I like rape.....)"

Ah yes, foreign languages are full of traps to snare the unwary...

I learnt Spanish as a mature student and thought I told my oral examiner that I was "40 years old".
Unfortunately I pronounced "anos" meaning "years" wrong. It should be said "anyos". I said it "annos" which is actually a body part.

So I actually told the examiner that I had 40 arseholes.......

Theblacksheepandme · 27/05/2022 07:24

Battygirll
So, your husband told all and sundry that you are a sex worker? For three years? Surely he must have got some confused looks that made him question his use of the term?

I'm sorry, I think there is some exaggeration here! Grin

Just a tad bit of exaggeration. 🙄 It also makes me wonder how you could marry someone so stupid? I couldn't spend the rest of my life with such stupidity. Intelligence is what floats my boat. Maybe you're all just as stupid. Ricky Gervais once said "Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others.
The same applies when you are stupid".

People are finding it amusing though. I am finding some of the more plausible stories of what people's children have said funny though.

Dashdotdotdash · 27/05/2022 07:32

Battygirll · 27/05/2022 06:10

So, your husband told all and sundry that you are a sex worker? For three years? Surely he must have got some confused looks that made him question his use of the term?

I'm sorry, I think there is some exaggeration here! Grin

Remember that for two of those years he probably hasn't been interacting socially with anyone outside the family.

Original poster
MyHusbandIsVeryStupid · 27/05/2022 07:40

I mean if you don’t believe me that’s fine, I don’t have to prove myself to anyone.

If someone told me their partner was a sex worker I would say “cool” and leave it at that because I’m not rude and it’s actually a pretty common job these days (I work with many!)

Also, how often do you talk about your partners job at work? It’s likely that he’s said this maybe once or twice over the years, not everyday telling people I’m a sex worker 🤣

And yes with Covid he essentially had 2 years off work.

OP posts:
Maireas · 27/05/2022 07:46

Even if he's only said this once or twice, people will have discussed it! It's a bit of a wild statement! Distance working or not.

Thinkingblonde · 27/05/2022 07:48

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 26/05/2022 23:27

@TidyDancer

No, it is not. Where on earth did you get that idea from?

A snail trail is the line of hair that goes from your pubic hair up your belly towards your belly button. Men normally have them, it's called a snail trail. Some women also grow hair along that line during pregnancy, coming higher up than their hair normally would.

Snail trail is a really normal, common name for that line of hair on men. Women can have it too.

The line of hair from navel to pubes…I’ve heard it called the Happy Trail, which makes more sense if you think about it.

Maunderingdrunkenly · 27/05/2022 07:48

@eurochick I’m southern and it’s def a trail of hair. Maybe it’s just your friends?

Is you’re husband as stupid as mine?
Original poster
MyHusbandIsVeryStupid · 27/05/2022 07:52

Maireas · 27/05/2022 07:46

Even if he's only said this once or twice, people will have discussed it! It's a bit of a wild statement! Distance working or not.

He hasn’t been distance working, he’s a chef. He’s literally been at home.

i have no doubt that people have discussed it! Just not to him, that would be rude.

same sort of situation where I had an ex colleague who’s husband was in prison. We were all dying to know why but it would have been rude to ask.

OP posts:
BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 27/05/2022 08:01

@Thepossibility

No, it isnt. It is just conversation between partners. Usually means things you wouldnt say to other people along with just chat between a couple.

It isnt sexual and it absolutely isnt dirty talk during sex.

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 27/05/2022 08:06

@Thinkingblonde

Yes. It's also a snail trail. It has nothing to do with discharge.

If you're unsure, you can just check urban dictionary or put it into Google and check any other source.

LowlandLucky · 27/05/2022 08:12

Sorry OP but this will keep me laughing for weeks 😂

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/05/2022 08:18

Am I the only person on here who thinks this is not funnily stupid but actually disturbingly stupid?

How the actual fuck can someone not know what a sex worker is?

booboo24 · 27/05/2022 08:20

Ah op that's absolutely hilarious!!! I REALLY want to RTFT but I'm now late for work (my daughter told everyone at school that mummy counts pennies that she takes off people and looks at the world on the Internet all day) I'm am accountant. Anyway marked this thread to come home and read later.....still bloody laughing 🤣🤣

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