Is you’re husband as stupid as mine?

[MyHusbandIsVeryStupid]

I went out for dinner last night with a bunch of my husbands work colleagues who I’ve not met before. We all got on great but I could tell there was a weird vibe between me and them.

Do you want to know why?

My job is a sexual health advisor.

Turns out when asked what I do he’s been telling people I’m a sex worker.

He actually thought that’s what sex worker meant. Thankfully I’ve put everyone straight and the weird tension eased. But omg what a bloody idiot.

Aibu to think he wins the stupid man award?

My OH is really stupid and does stupid things and says stupid things all the time

Ive lost count of them but a physical thing he did is put a front door mat (you know the big thick jute/coir mat with rubber backing) into the washing machine

My virtually brand new, expensive, very expensive Miele washing machine

It nearly broke the machine, broke the mat (obviously). Ripped the rubber seal around the door.

It has never functioned correctly since.

That’s funny, but also really stupid. How can he not know what the term ‘sex worker’ usually means? Or have been unaware he was cheerily telling colleagues his wife was a prostitute?

😂😂 He's a plonker.

We went on holiday recently and I packed everything, organised everyone and asked DH to pack his own carry on so he does and we get to the airport and the bag is removed during the security check and DH says oh oops I left my headphones in there. Nope turns out he left his Stanley knife in it luckily the staff were pretty understanding and just threw it away.

But thanks op, when my dh does stupid things now I can think well at least he doesn't tell people I'm a sex worker

Laughter is the best medicine. Thank you OP

I’m glad I’m not alone in the stupid husband department.

What the bloody hell must they have all thought when saying things like “oh Mrs stupid is working from home today as the baby is sick.”

Honestly it’s a good job he’s pretty.

My DH used to run a fertility clinic. DC told her teacher he made ladies pregnant

Ffs. 😂🤣😂

Years ago… word was the new dad in the school playground was high up in MI5. Hush hush, not to be mentioned. Looked the part too, handsome and a bit mysterious.

Except a few months later another mum went sofa shopping in the next town along and was shocked to see him… store manager at MFI.

Just realised my comment has absolutely nothing to do with the OP - seems my DH has a stupid DW!

Oh dear OP!

My DD told everyone at school I was the head of the NHS (around the time Sir Simon was being replaced). I got a few admiring glances at the school gate from parents until I set them straight on my much much less prestigious promotion.

Best post in ages make lol 😂 and all the others thank you mumnetters x

I had a temp job at MFI - and I too was asked what was it like working for MI5.

Many years ago, my uncle worked for British Steel on permanent nights. One day, I would have been maybe five at the time, I told a someone in a shop that my uncle was going steeling that night.

My nephew told everyone at his school that his mum, my sister, was a drug dealer... she was a pharmacist so not technically wrong. 😄

My partner didn't know what the phrase "pillow talk" meant, he thought it just meant chatting in bed. We are both developers and often chat about the code we're working on in the evenings. Recently he started a new job and was having a "get to know you" chat with his female line manager and told her that he and I talk about coding for our pillow talk. When I later told him what pillow talk actually meant he looked like the ground might swallow him up. I'm not sure he's been able to look her in the eye since!

This is one of those threads that needs more detail!
How did he respond when you told him what sex worker meant? When he realised what other people were thinking every time he said it and how everyone at his work thinks his wife is a prostitute, he must have had something to say.

How did people respond at the dinner?

😂😂😂😂😂OMG, that is hilarious!!

A friend of the family who is very religious and shy was at my table at her niece’s wedding.
Some of the groom’s family were making small talk and asked what she did for a living.
She replied that she was an escort. She added that the money wasn’t great because she hadn’t been doing it long, but she enjoyed it because her husband was her driver so they went home together afterwards!

The conversation was a little stilted after that until I clarified that her husband was a mini bus driver, and he had a contract for a special school - wife was the children’s escort.

He was just like “oh…” went bright pink. Now he thinks it’s bloody hilarious.

for everyone else it was a penny drop moment. They are obviously used to him being an idiot so it was just lots of eye rolls and taking the piss out of him basically!

It does just mean chatting in bed.

It just means quiet conversation between partners in bed. It can be intimate. It can be after sex. It can also just be about

I'm still wheezing with laughter and have had to use my inhaler!

Please can I nominate this thread for Classics? If it's still there after the replatforming... 🌹