"Work stack" - FFS

[CovidCanDoOne123]

So in addition to the likes of 'reach out', 'align'; 'ducks in a row', 'going forward' etc etc etc...we now have 'work stack' instead of workload.

Losing the will to live.

Ps no AIBU. The use of 'work stack' is unreasonable.

Deck.
Isn't it just a PP presentation? When did it become a deck? And why?
And why the fuck is everything super instead of very?
"I've been super busy prepping the slide deck"
Huh?

Oh yes and granularity.
You mean detail?

@SpiderinaWingMirror

Deck. Isn't it just a PP presentation? When did it become a deck? And why? And why the fuck is everything super instead of very? "I've been super busy prepping the slide deck" Huh?

Yeah I’ve noticed this recently. Where did this whole deck thing come from?!

A new one on me this week was ‘project stack’: they were talking about doing various things to try to achieve some aims. Think they were trying to make it sound bigger, more joined up or whatever!

I like ‘mental load’, think it accurately captures the problem!

@SpiderinaWingMirror

Deck. Isn't it just a PP presentation? When did it become a deck? And why? And why the fuck is everything super instead of very? "I've been super busy prepping the slide deck" Huh?

But not only should you prep the slide deck you should also ask for any builds.

Eh, what’s a ‘build’?

Oh how I want to go back 20 years to a time with none of this bollocks
It was though "are you picking up what I'm putting down'' 🤣

@LabMix
There was a decision by a council that brain storming might be offensive to some people with epilepsy or mental illness. When the media got that they just talked to people who have epilepsy and/or mental illness and found that they had not been offended or linked the word with their illness at all.

isitfunnyoroffensive.com/uk-bans-the-word-brainstorming/

I also have no idea what's un-PC about brainstorm??? Does it insult other storms?

@SpiderinaWingMirror

Deck. Isn't it just a PP presentation? When did it become a deck? And why? And why the fuck is everything super instead of very? "I've been super busy prepping the slide deck" Huh?

YESSSSS! This too!!!!

I hate the expression 'let's unpack this' unless I am actually unpacking a suitcase

My husband started making them up at work and seeing which ones took off. His favourite is 'it's a dinosaurs picnic' which is now used to describe when things are going wrong!

"Leaning in" is the latest one for us.
"We need everyone to lean in on this project". Ffs. Someone on a meeting I was on expressed their concern with all this leaning that someone might fall over 😂

What are our wonderings after this meeting?

Oh my god I've used some of these - always a deck where I work, we do get into granular detail and we push back to clients.

I hear myself talking to my boss in full 'impress the boss' promotion mode the other day. I got to the end of my sentence, heard myself and apologised for talking such bollocks. Bless him he did say at least the idea was good....

At work I have been invited to a “group scrum”. Otherwise known as a meeting.

I think we must all work for the same company!!!

Opportunity pipeline.
You compile a list of opportunities and then review their viability.
If you want to be even more wanky you have an opportunity funnel. The nearer to the wide end they are the more likely they are to come to fruition.

@notacooldad

Oh how I want to go back 20 years to a time with none of this bollocks It was though "are you picking up what I'm putting down'' 🤣

Oh yes, if you want a good example of jargon from years ago watch Gus on Drop the Dead Donkey (more like 30 years ago). Let's run that up the flagpole and see if it flies (I think they made some of them up but they got used IRL anyway!).

Irritating jargon has always been around, it just changes from time to time. Always irritating though, I feel your pain OP!

I work in the public sector and hear most of these on a daily basis from senior civil servants. I think part of the promotion process must test how many of these phrases you can use without laughing.

I retired from a corporate job a few years ago and reading all of these posts reminds me how thankful I was. I was so tired of ‘thinking outside the box’ and doing blue sky thinking. All utter rubbish of course.

I have ducks (real ones, around 20 or so) living in my back garden. I’ve tried all sorts to get them ‘in a row’. Best I can do is in a line, following each other and that involved a handful of their favourite split peas. Off topic maybe but just how does one get their ducks in a row, are mine faulty?

@Duracellbunnywannabe

You know the only way to deal with it is to find someone else in your office/team who feels the same way and play bullshit bingo.

I won an amazing game of that. A colleague and I had a competition to introduce completely made up bullshit in meetings (we had real jobs and didn’t need to be in meetings, so we resented them!). Winner was the first person to hear the bullshit spouted back by someone who hadn’t been in the meeting we planted it in!

Failing that, battleships.

At work I have been invited to a “group scrum”. Otherwise known as a meeting.

A "group scrum" sounds filthy. Are you sure it was a work meeting they were inviting you to?

@TulipsGarden

I refuse to use all of these phrases. I'll never get promoted (at my current company) but I will retain my soul.

I gave in. I got promoted. More money and a better pension plus I get the joy of subverting all this business speak bollocks by inventing my own version and keepin a straight face. Just occasionally I do find myself using 'going forward' in an email and have to have a stern word with myself. Totally refuse to 'reach out' to anyone though, unless they are in a Four Tops tribute act of course.