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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is just bloody rude?!

97 replies

ChamberofSecrets69 · 01/10/2021 20:11

Invited friends round for drinks tonight. So far, they're 40 minutes late with no text to let us know why. If I'm even going to be 5 minutes late I'll let the person whose house I'm going to know I'm going to be late.

Would I be unreasonable to tell them not to bother coming? This has just pissed me off tbh.

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 01/10/2021 20:12

I'd be worried more than angry? Unless they do this a lot?

ChilliWillies · 01/10/2021 20:12

Well, first I’d be messaging them to ask if they’re ok, in case something has happened. Maybe give them the benefit of the doubt?

LizzieSiddal · 01/10/2021 20:12

I’d be worried about them tbh. Could you phone them and ask them if they’re ok?
If they answer and they’ve just forgotten/are pissed/are just late then yes they are rude and I’d tell them not to bother coming.

ShuddaBeenMe · 01/10/2021 20:13

Very rude

Aquamarine1029 · 01/10/2021 20:13

Are they all arriving/traveling together?

LST · 01/10/2021 20:14

Just text and ask if they're on their way

Original poster
ChamberofSecrets69 · 01/10/2021 20:15

They're fine, one of them has been on WhatsApp

OP posts:
Spindrifting · 01/10/2021 20:15

Actually contemplating telling them not to come seems like a bit of an overreaction to me — I would expect people to e punctual if invited to dinner, but drinks is a more casual affair…? Not that it’s not rude, but did you have plans for later that are being disrupted?

Original poster
ChamberofSecrets69 · 01/10/2021 20:15

There's only 2 of them btw

OP posts:
Carboncheque · 01/10/2021 20:15

40 minutes late is extreme but so is letting someone know if you’re going to be 5 minutes late.

Sally872 · 01/10/2021 20:16

It's still early. Things can easily take a little longer when getting organised. Perhaps they all assume they are the only one late so not impacting the evening much.

Original poster
ChamberofSecrets69 · 01/10/2021 20:17

@Carboncheque

40 minutes late is extreme but so is letting someone know if you’re going to be 5 minutes late.
I disagree, I think it's good manners.
OP posts:
NotYourCupOfTea · 01/10/2021 20:18

Are they together? Does seem weird to be so late

Original poster
ChamberofSecrets69 · 01/10/2021 20:18

@Sally872

It's still early. Things can easily take a little longer when getting organised. Perhaps they all assume they are the only one late so not impacting the evening much.
They're the only people coming. It's me and my OH, and another couple.
OP posts:
Carboncheque · 01/10/2021 20:19

We’re back to the old ‘If someone invites you for 7 what time should you arrive?’ question. I’d never expect someone to arrive at 7 on the dot.

Noogar · 01/10/2021 20:20

You can be on WhatsApp and still be trying to coordinate a response to something urgent.

savagebaggagemaster · 01/10/2021 20:20

@Noogar

You can be on WhatsApp and still be trying to coordinate a response to something urgent.
That's exactly what I was thinking...
traintraveller · 01/10/2021 20:21

Did you tell them they had to arrive by a certain time?

NewMutiny · 01/10/2021 20:21

@Carboncheque

We’re back to the old ‘If someone invites you for 7 what time should you arrive?’ question. I’d never expect someone to arrive at 7 on the dot.
I actually think it would be a bit rude to arrive at 7. Ten past surely? Grin
HollowTalk · 01/10/2021 20:22

Are you doing food?

Original poster
ChamberofSecrets69 · 01/10/2021 20:22

They're perfectly fine, I just got a text.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChamberofSecrets69 · 01/10/2021 20:23

@traintraveller

Did you tell them they had to arrive by a certain time?
Yes, I did.
OP posts:
Carboncheque · 01/10/2021 20:24

It’s a social minefield NewMutiny Grin

westcountryboy · 01/10/2021 20:24

It's Friday night though, maybe your arrival time was a bit early. I don't think I could get somewhere much before 8 if I had to finish work, have a shower etc. They should have said though.

Did you say at 7.30 or from?

SirChenjins · 01/10/2021 20:25

What are they doing that they’re so late?