To think this is just bloody rude?!

[ChamberofSecrets69]

Invited friends round for drinks tonight. So far, they're 40 minutes late with no text to let us know why. If I'm even going to be 5 minutes late I'll let the person whose house I'm going to know I'm going to be late.

Would I be unreasonable to tell them not to bother coming? This has just pissed me off tbh.

I do think it’s rude if all is ok, but you are massively overreacting. I would message and check they’re ok then tell them a text or call would have been nice but I’d leave it there. Is a delay really worth spoiling a whole night? Personally I’d be happy with an apology when they get to you. Life gets busy and we rush for so many things, I should not be stressed about meeting friends because I might be half an hour late.

I think it's extremely rude. I'm quite old.

If someone invites me for drinks at their house and says See you at 7.30pm then I'd be there at 7.30.

It would never occur to me to be fannying around doing God knows what at 8.20 and still not where I'd said I'd be.

Rude.

Without a profuse apology and a good reason for the lateness I actually wouldn't invite them around again.

Wouldn't bother me personally. I'd just have a drink and talk to my partner til they arrived.

I hate disrespectful people. It’s disrespectful to be late. They should absolutely message to let you know if it’s more than a few minutes. Five minutes I’d of course let slide without a comment but anything beyond that I’d comment. I’m sure it’s not the first time they’ve done this either. If they have form for this, eventually I blow. How hard is it to have some manners.

I'd be pissed off. Yes, tell them not to bother.

Very disrespectful and shows they don't give a shit!

A party is different. With lots of people it's fine to be 40 mins after.
If it's just you and 2 others and then time has been arranged, it's only polite to send a text saying 'Sorry we just left, en route now'.
40 minutes is taking the piss.

Unless some drama occurred!

Have they got the time wrong? Day wrong? What are they texting you about?

Five minutes late...I probably wouldnt message unless it was an timed thing like a dinner reservation. 5 mins late, and I'm probably driving, if its drinks with friends at home, I'd just turn up and apologise. A dinner reservation - I'd call and say 'just parking/stuck on x Street, go in without me!!'

But I normally aim for at least 5 mins early....so.

40 mins is just rude...especially if they haven't even left. I couldn't imagine only just leaving for anything on or after the time I was supposed to be there. In fairness I would cancel, I wouldn't be able settle properly waiting for them - do you order a takeaway, start the nice bottle of wine... start the movie or whatever, or wait awkwardly for them to drop in.

If they're a couple I bet they've had an almighty row.

Have they arrived ?

@CurlyhairedAssassin

If they're a couple I bet they've had an almighty row.

Yeah probably

If they're a couple I bet they've had an almighty row.

Yep. That’s my guess too.

They're 40 minutes late for drinks by ten last eight? When were they supposed to have dinner?

Drinks is a much looser arrangement than dinner imo.

They've probably / hopefully arrived by now. But I'd be wary of this. I'm friendly with people who were always this late or more without any update etc. Basically they are saying their time is more precious than yours. Nip it in the bud or it will continue during future nights together.

@Carboncheque

It’s a social minefield NewMutiny

Someone just said five minutes early. I'm like 🤯

Are they in a queue for petrol?

Yes, it’s rude. Make it a short night and turf them out early.

I have a friend who is always about 40 mins late - though she does text/ring to apologise and update. It is annoying but not something to fall out about if they are lovely otherwise.

Sigh, it's such PA behaviour. Can you and the guests who did bother to turn up go out to a bar or something? Carry on as if the dullards ain't coming.

@Carboncheque

We’re back to the old ‘If someone invites you for 7 what time should you arrive?’ question. I’d never expect someone to arrive at 7 on the dot.

I wouldn’t expect people to arrive exactly on time for a party necessarily but for an evening consisting of 3 couples I would expect them between 7 and 7.30 at the very latest.

Have they arrived in the end???

I always give a time window btw.
Come between 7 and 7.30 means not before 7 and NOT AFTER 7.30!