Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF part two. Voldemutt and the philosopher's bone

436 replies

Purplewishes · 27/08/2021 15:12

Can't actually believe this has needed a second thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4331756-CF-DSD-DSDs-mum-and-dog

For any new stragglers jumping on for the ride I will try and summerise.
DSD has a dog at her mum's. Dog pisses and shits on the floor.
I'm up to my tits with my own kids with a toddler and newborn twins.
DH ex asked me to walk dog, I said absolutely fucking not.
Been lies and twisted truths about who's looking after dog.
DHs ex has fucked off on holiday anyway.
dSD has taken responsibility for walking dog but need DH to ferry her back and forward
Dog has now been renamed as voldemutt
DH has been told if voldemutt crosses the door he will be drop kicked out the door.
Once again to reiterate I'm having fuck all to do with voldemutt and plan to just sit back and watch the drama unfold (while drinking wine)

So where did we leave off?
DH took DSD at half 5 to her house to walk the dog before school no problem. The plan we were told was that a nice caring neighbour was going to walk voldemutt while DSD at school.

I was out with twins today with a friend with the buggys and we went a scenic route (this was about half 11) and who do I see walking voldemutt??????? DSD.

DSD should be at school (were in Scotland) so I'm guessing that DSD has dogged school in order to be there to walk voldemutt and there was never a neighbour involved. Now DSD didn't see me and I haven't mentioned it to her or to DH yet but I have full intentions of asking her how her day at school was when she gets home and then firing a million detailed questions about her day to see at what point she admits she was not at school.

OP posts:
Asiama · 27/08/2021 22:18

Wow what a thread! Well done for staying strong OP! But hasn't DSD lied to you by telling you NDN is walking the dog, or at least lied by omission by not telling you what the plan for today was all along

Hertsgirl10 · 27/08/2021 22:23

@2mutsandsomebabies

Can you read?

And LOL @ her mental health being damaged 😂😂 where have you people come from tonight, Jesus Christ.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 27/08/2021 22:26

This is better than a parking thread.

I've had wine and a takeaway pizza and had a proper evening of it.

Original poster
Purplewishes · 27/08/2021 22:34

[quote Hertsgirl10]@2mutsandsomebabies

Can you read?

And LOL @ her mental health being damaged 😂😂 where have you people come from tonight, Jesus Christ.[/quote]
Day release from Azkaban surely?

OP posts:
OhRene · 27/08/2021 23:14

@ButterflyAway

What day was it? High schools now get out at half 12 on a Friday with a promise of optional classes Friday afternoon, except said optional classes don’t seem to have appeared and kids are being sent home instead.

Sorry if this has already been said, way too tired to go reading all the way back.

Some may do but that certainly isn't true for the majority. I know of ONE school (two hours drive away in Edinburgh) that does an early finish on Fridays. One school.
ProfessionalWeirdo · 27/08/2021 23:21

@TeeBee

I'd have to do something really immature and turn all the lights on at the ex's house, every single one, and leave them on for the whole weekend.
Or use her landline to call the New York Speaking Clock and then leave the receiver off?
MadinMarch · 27/08/2021 23:23

I may be going against the majority here, but I do feel that DSD has been a bit underhand in not telling you and her dad that she had no intention of going to school today after being dropped off this morning to walk the dog. Whilst the main responsibility is with her mother, she has colluded with her mother regarding not going to school and the lie about the neighbour walking the dog.
I would be inclined to give some form of punishment for this even if it's of a token nature. It's not ok for her to deceive you both like that, and only spill the beans after the event.

Hankunamatata · 27/08/2021 23:28

When your chucked in the deep end with kids you develop a dark dark sense of humour Grin

Hertsgirl10 · 27/08/2021 23:28

@MadinMarch

I may be going against the majority here, but I do feel that DSD has been a bit underhand in not telling you and her dad that she had no intention of going to school today after being dropped off this morning to walk the dog. Whilst the main responsibility is with her mother, she has colluded with her mother regarding not going to school and the lie about the neighbour walking the dog. I would be inclined to give some form of punishment for this even if it's of a token nature. It's not ok for her to deceive you both like that, and only spill the beans after the event.
@MadinMarch I agree but OP has been all kinds .. nasty step mum, bully ect just for saying she’s gonna ask how school was, let alone actual punish her for all she has done, I think she’s behaved appallingly, the SD not the OP.
Asiama · 27/08/2021 23:30

@MadinMarch has articulated it better than I had!

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 27/08/2021 23:31

Dunno about Dementors, but the demented seem to be out on day release.

Well done Op, you and your DH have handled the situation well, especially considering the ex saddled you all with the problem. Let's hope Snape conjures up a potion to give the Ex fanny boils.

Hertsgirl10 · 27/08/2021 23:34

@Purplewishes

Definitely somewhere weird anyway 😂 ffs I can’t cope with people 💆🏼‍♀️

Keep us posted with what happens when the dog owner gets back from her refreshing break away, I’m sure she’s gonna give you some thing to update us with lol

MadinMarch · 27/08/2021 23:35

@Hertsgirl10
Well, it's obviously the dad who will be giving the punishment, as it's his daughter. Yes, Op has had a rough time here from some posters. I think it sounds as though she's doing a great job with her dsd all in all. In her shoes, I'd be bloody livid with dsd's mum, as I'm sure she is now.

Hertsgirl10 · 27/08/2021 23:39

@MadinMarch
Tbh in OP shoes I probably would have let the dog out the front door and wished it well but I’m not a dog person.

I wouldn’t really 😏😅

SheSaidHummingbird · 27/08/2021 23:53

DH and I reading OP's updates this evening....

CF part two. Voldemutt and the philosopher's bone
BlackeyedSusan · 27/08/2021 23:56

I bet ex Hufflepuffs and tries to Slytherin out of responsibility.

I think telling school would be reasonable as it alerts them to look out for dsd as mum is clearly irresponsible. Phrase it as blaming mum not dsd.

BlackeyedSusan · 27/08/2021 23:57

I think it is something school needs to know.

Maddison12 · 28/08/2021 00:55

Wow OP I thought I loved Harry Potter, pointy hats off to you.

Still can't believe ex has caused all this drama just so her DP can Slytherin to the Chamber of Secrets Grin

BurningTheToast · 28/08/2021 02:17

@OhRene

Some may do but that certainly isn't true for the majority. I know of ONE school (two hours drive away in Edinburgh) that does an early finish on Fridays. One school.

As far as Edinburgh goes, all state schools finish at lunchtime on a Friday. So do some of the Fife schools and quite possibly those in other local authorities. So far from just one school.

timeisnotaline · 28/08/2021 02:57

I think op has impressive boundaries and her dsd will do better for being exposed to them! Excellent parenting on lying too.
New rule, for dh tocommunicate -you’re a cheeky user, we can in no way support dsd to walk your dog in the future as you’ve encouraged her to skip school and I’ll have no part in that. Hopefully mil learns too.

Valeriekat · 28/08/2021 03:36

@Chitchatchatter

If it were me, I'd be treading very carefully here. Yes, your DSD may have bought into her mum's subterfuge hoping you might come round to taking the dog in, alternatively she could be choosing the least worst option after being stuck in the middle of what should be a discussion amongst the adults in the family. Telling a lie in order to keep the peace between you all and not be the cause, as she might see it, of any arguments.
Have you read any of the threads? The OP had discussed this with the supposedly adult parent with a very firm "NO" to looking after the dog.

It is the child's mother who has placed her in this position not the OP.
The child also has a father in case you hadn't noticed.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 28/08/2021 03:43

Ha! I claim points for Ravenclaw as well, as I was sure that DH would offload dog to MIL in Fred 1.

"ThumbWitchesAbroad Fri 27-Aug-21 03:01:07
Well the ex is going to have a lovely mess to clean up whenever she gets home, hey.
Or is she expecting DSD to do it?

I agree your MIL is going to get roped in over the weekend - but since she originally agreed to do that in the first place, it probably won't be the end of the world."

It's good that DSD owned up to her dad that she had wagged school but ffs, what kind of irresponsible fuckwit is her mother, that she ok'd this?! And if the dog isn't up to date with its vaccinations, then that just ADDS to the irresponsibility (I know this is surmise as a reason why she didn't book it into kennels).

Of course the DSD's mental health isn't affected - jeez, some people just dredge up any old excuse to put the boot in to OPs. Dementors.

Snog · 28/08/2021 06:09

I can see why the ex is the ex. She has behaved very badly here to you, SD, DH, MIL and Voldepup.

OP thanks for sharing - what a fizz banging thread!

AngelPrint · 28/08/2021 06:36

@Purplewishes I’m not sure if it’s already been said but I’m sure the EX is thinking, to paraphrase Dumbledore…

“ A Penis can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light” 😉

EatYourVegetables · 28/08/2021 07:38

I had some Gin last night and when I went to sleep I had long confused dreams about Voldemutt. Thanks for the thread, OP.