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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF part two. Voldemutt and the philosopher's bone

436 replies

Purplewishes · 27/08/2021 15:12

Can't actually believe this has needed a second thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4331756-CF-DSD-DSDs-mum-and-dog

For any new stragglers jumping on for the ride I will try and summerise.
DSD has a dog at her mum's. Dog pisses and shits on the floor.
I'm up to my tits with my own kids with a toddler and newborn twins.
DH ex asked me to walk dog, I said absolutely fucking not.
Been lies and twisted truths about who's looking after dog.
DHs ex has fucked off on holiday anyway.
dSD has taken responsibility for walking dog but need DH to ferry her back and forward
Dog has now been renamed as voldemutt
DH has been told if voldemutt crosses the door he will be drop kicked out the door.
Once again to reiterate I'm having fuck all to do with voldemutt and plan to just sit back and watch the drama unfold (while drinking wine)

So where did we leave off?
DH took DSD at half 5 to her house to walk the dog before school no problem. The plan we were told was that a nice caring neighbour was going to walk voldemutt while DSD at school.

I was out with twins today with a friend with the buggys and we went a scenic route (this was about half 11) and who do I see walking voldemutt??????? DSD.

DSD should be at school (were in Scotland) so I'm guessing that DSD has dogged school in order to be there to walk voldemutt and there was never a neighbour involved. Now DSD didn't see me and I haven't mentioned it to her or to DH yet but I have full intentions of asking her how her day at school was when she gets home and then firing a million detailed questions about her day to see at what point she admits she was not at school.

OP posts:
MsPavlichenko · 27/08/2021 15:29

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson
Dogged not an autocorrect. Dogging school is what we call it. In West Coast anyway.

MrsPaddyGrant · 27/08/2021 15:30

The exW is behaving appallingly - i feel sorry that the dog is left logged in the house all day so of course it makes a mess. And the arrangements she has left are ridiculous expecting DSD and neighbour to walk the dog. She should have cancelled her weekend away as she didn't have adequate dog care. This is totally on her.

And well done to you for not caving in - you have enough on with your DC's. But i do feel sorry for the dog and your DSD.

ZenNudist · 27/08/2021 15:30

Seems highly unusual to let your 13yo miss school to walk a dog. Unbelievable

Howshouldibehave · 27/08/2021 15:31

How the hell did she leave the school to walk the dog half way through the morning-that’s a safeguarding concern!

GoodbyeToCare · 27/08/2021 15:31

@MsPavlichenko

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson Dogged not an autocorrect. Dogging school is what we call it. In West Coast anyway.
Yep that's what we always called it. "Did you know Jim was dogging it from school?" type thing.
QueenBee52 · 27/08/2021 15:33

FFS that poor girl AND that poor dog...

OP get to the bottom of this... Flowers

SukonthaM · 27/08/2021 15:34

@Howshouldibehave

How the hell did she leave the school to walk the dog half way through the morning-that’s a safeguarding concern!
Did she actually go to school at all though?
NothingIsWrong · 27/08/2021 15:34

Placemarking to say dogging school is deffo a word...

Lysianthus · 27/08/2021 15:36

Place marking for later, when wine and popcorn will be served.

Eddielzzard · 27/08/2021 15:40

Shock who gets their kid to bunk off school to walk the shitting dog because they won't fork out a few quid for kennels? I did feel sorry for the dog. Now I feel sorry for the DSD. But underlying problem is undoubtedly the EX who thinks her holiday comes before voldemutt and her DD's education

REignbow · 27/08/2021 15:41

@SukonthaM that’s exactly what I thought.

The ex has lied throughout this. It wouldn’t surprise me that the neighbour is actually the DSD and her mother has called the school excusing her absence.

Remember, the DSD went directly from school to the OP’s house. Her mother probably let her skip school yesterday as well.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/08/2021 15:42

I think dh will be a little pissed off his dd skipped school to walk the dog , I mean voldermutt 🐶

Redtartanshoes · 27/08/2021 15:44

Jesus this just gets better

Fernando072020 · 27/08/2021 15:47

It's actually a damn shame that dsd's mum has behaved so appallingly that it has likely damaged your co-parenting relationship with her long term. Selfish, pathetic and entitled.
All because she was assuming you to do something for her which in reality is a big ask in general, nevermind when you have a toddler and twins at home.

BillyIsMyBunny · 27/08/2021 15:48

Poor DSD sounds really caught up in the middle of this, trying to balance trying to keep both her mum and get dad happy to the extent she’s having to skip school to walk the dog and shoulder the responsibility because her parents won’t. (Obviously not saying it’s your DPs responsibility, that lays with her mum but it is a shame it’s reached that point)

cuppaandabiscuit · 27/08/2021 15:49

3 possibility-
dsd decided to bunk off to look after dog (Although not on I can understand why - is not fair to leave poor voldemutt on his own all day & night)
Dp ex arranged for dsd to be off school to walk which is just absolutely outrageous
OR
DP let DSD take day off to look after dog which is equally outrageous

If either of first 2, your DP needs to be the one who handles this from here with his ex & DSD.
If the latter - he needs a drop kick firmly into reality!

Theneverendingcleaningcycle · 27/08/2021 15:51

Nooooooo! Wow... geez this is Eastenders!

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/08/2021 15:51

I think the school will be very interested to hear about this! Your dsd’s mum lied by the sound of it and doesn’t even have her dd at home. I hope your Dh is going to follow it up fully and in writing.

I can fully understand why your dsd has done this. She must hate that her ddog is home alone and being ordered around by her mum. 13 is a difficult age to come clean and she has been put in a really awkward position.

Horst · 27/08/2021 15:51

Wouldn’t surprised me if dsd was the neighbour. What a shambles over a dog that nobody in that house but dsd seems to care about.

CaffeineAndNicotine · 27/08/2021 15:52

I reckon ex has given dsd a day off school.

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 27/08/2021 15:52

@MsPavlichenko

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson Dogged not an autocorrect. Dogging school is what we call it. In West Coast anyway.
Ok, I thought it was meant to be dodged school 🤣🤣🤣. Still appropriate!
Farwest · 27/08/2021 15:53

Hmmm. Does your dp know that she wasn't at school?

frazzledasarock · 27/08/2021 15:54

Hang on did school not ring to see where DSD was? Has her mother informed school she’ll not be in?

I feel so sorry for both DSD & VP. The ex is an utter piece of work isn’t she?

If DSD doesn’t fess up do tell your DH. This is such so awful.

One thing I’m impressed about that DSD is stepping up and taking responsibility of her dog.

Cuddlyrottweiler · 27/08/2021 15:56

I actually don't think DSD should be punished in any way. It's not her fault her mum fucked off on holiday and left the dog alone.

Howshouldibehave · 27/08/2021 15:57

So your DSD is either leaving the school grounds to walk the dog, or she is outright lying to you about going to school today?

This is really wrong.

I would sit her down and ask her what she did at school today.

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