CF part two. Voldemutt and the philosopher's bone

[Purplewishes]

Can't actually believe this has needed a second thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4331756-CF-DSD-DSDs-mum-and-dog

For any new stragglers jumping on for the ride I will try and summerise.
DSD has a dog at her mum's. Dog pisses and shits on the floor.
I'm up to my tits with my own kids with a toddler and newborn twins.
DH ex asked me to walk dog, I said absolutely fucking not.
Been lies and twisted truths about who's looking after dog.
DHs ex has fucked off on holiday anyway.
dSD has taken responsibility for walking dog but need DH to ferry her back and forward
Dog has now been renamed as voldemutt
DH has been told if voldemutt crosses the door he will be drop kicked out the door.
Once again to reiterate I'm having fuck all to do with voldemutt and plan to just sit back and watch the drama unfold (while drinking wine)

So where did we leave off?
DH took DSD at half 5 to her house to walk the dog before school no problem. The plan we were told was that a nice caring neighbour was going to walk voldemutt while DSD at school.

I was out with twins today with a friend with the buggys and we went a scenic route (this was about half 11) and who do I see walking voldemutt??????? DSD.

DSD should be at school (were in Scotland) so I'm guessing that DSD has dogged school in order to be there to walk voldemutt and there was never a neighbour involved. Now DSD didn't see me and I haven't mentioned it to her or to DH yet but I have full intentions of asking her how her day at school was when she gets home and then firing a million detailed questions about her day to see at what point she admits she was not at school.

You missed a trick with the ex. Should have told her you caught DSD wagging school to walk the dog so have arranged to rehome the dog. So lucky you have friends who’ve been looking for a new dog.

You're handling this so well!

You’ve been very firm OP and stuck to your guns this weekend & quite rightly but how are you going to manage things going forward with the ex?

I know you’ve been the go between to facilitate everything but if you revert to this role then the ex is likely to trample over all of you again. I’d be very inclined to step back, even for just a while, to show that actions have consequences. If that means your DH and ex have to endure some fractious conversations for a while then so be it.

How is the dog looked after normally? Who looks after it when ExW is at work? This isn't just about the dog sitting arrangements this weekend, I wonder how much this poor dog's needs are, on a day to day basis, just not being met.

Top punning, OP. This thread certainly exceeded expectations.

I think op has impressive boundaries and her dsd will do better for being exposed to them! Excellent parenting on lying too.

This

DHex will think she has effectively got away with abandoning dog toe her long weekend, manipulating and lying and arranging for her 13 year old to wag school.

However her card is marked now. She knows it and everyone else does.

None of this is the dogs fault. But OP has been consistent, kind and fair throughout, sticking to her "the dog cannot come here, I am not waking the dog" for very good reasons

The trick will be how to pre-empt the next attempt by DHex who may decide to go away and abandon dog each time, especially if she has a new relationship. It's a tricky one

Loving OPs sense of humour about it all! Voldemutt!!

@MadinMarch

I may be going against the majority here, but I do feel that DSD has been a bit underhand in not telling you and her dad that she had no intention of going to school today after being dropped off this morning to walk the dog. Whilst the main responsibility is with her mother, she has colluded with her mother regarding not going to school and the lie about the neighbour walking the dog. I would be inclined to give some form of punishment for this even if it's of a token nature. It's not ok for her to deceive you both like that, and only spill the beans after the event.

I think she should at least miss the football!

[quote BurningTheToast]@OhRene

Some may do but that certainly isn't true for the majority. I know of ONE school (two hours drive away in Edinburgh) that does an early finish on Fridays. One school.

As far as Edinburgh goes, all state schools finish at lunchtime on a Friday. So do some of the Fife schools and quite possibly those in other local authorities. So far from just one school.[/quote]
East Lothian, West Lothian and Midlothian all finish at lunch time on Fridays too. :)

@peppermintbiscuit

How is the dog looked after normally? Who looks after it when ExW is at work? This isn't just about the dog sitting arrangements this weekend, I wonder how much this poor dog's needs are, on a day to day basis, just not being met.

But that REALLY isn't the OP's problem, is it. Not in any way at all.

I think she should at least miss the football!

For doing something her mother agreed to?

@sillysmiles

I think she should at least miss the football!

For doing something her mother agreed to?

Yes-because she had opportunity to tell her Dad & Op what was going on & didn't.

And because she has taken on the responsibility for the dog whilst her mum is away.

Bloody hell @PurpleWishes, you had one hell of a tough crowd last night!

Handled admirably, and I agree with your stance on no punishment for DSD, its her mother that needs her arse kicking.

Enjoy your bertie botts beans today!

@SirSamuelVimes

Top punning, OP. This thread certainly exceeded expectations.

I see what you did there

You are definitely my hero.

The mother has now effectively ensured no-one will ever have anything to do with her Vmutt again.
Does DD really like this dog ? wouldn't it be better to re-home ? sounds like the dog has a miserable life.
XW Needs to be told to find kennels or dog sitter.
& that you have told school to inform you of all absences, as they, both DD & XW aren't trustworthy.

What a dreadful mother your poor DSD has!!! I'm absolutely gobsmacked.
Have loved all the HP references though!

Your poor dsd and the poor dog.

This weekend had better have been worth trouncing over everyone else.
Dsd needs support in being able to say no to her mum for shit like this, it could end up being a real issue even as an adult for her.

Anyone else feel this belongs in classics 🤣

@SukonthaM

Anyone else feel this belongs in classics 🤣

Yes. Both threads

where have you people come from tonight, Jesus Christ.

Day release from Azkaban surely?
St Mungos more like. Someone's left the Janus Thickey Ward unlocked again.

"Gilderoy, you naughty boy, where have you wandered off to?"

poor dog

If you do speak to the school re DSD's absence, make sure that it's the ex's actions that are of concern, not your DSD. I would hate for her to be expelliarmused for something like this.

Why won’t you have anything to do with the dog? Is he difficult?

@lapun34

Why won’t you have anything to do with the dog? Is he difficult?

Because she doesn't want to. That's why.

@lapun34

Why won’t you have anything to do with the dog? Is he difficult?

Because it's not her dog and therefore not her issue??