To bail on a friends holiday

[bestwisheskindregards]

I’m currently TTC but have already agreed to go on a long weekend away with friends where there will be lots of drinking and a hot tub.

It’s a little while away still so there’s either a chance that I’ll be a few weeks pregnant or if we’re not successful, it may fall when I’m due to next ovulate.

If I’m only a few weeks pregnant, I don’t know how to avoid making it obvious? If it was just a one evening thing, it would be easier but hard to hide when I’m there for multiple days in a row. I’d have to avoid alcohol and a hot tub.

Or if we’re not successful, is it really sad to bail so that I can stay home and DTD?

Do whatever works for you OP- your life

I wouldn't cancel on a holiday with friends to DTD but whatever floats your boat. I think your jumping the gun and worrying unnecessarily though.

Unless there is a back story like you are worried about your age and need to try and get pregnant asap then it seems a bit extreme to cancel a weekend when you're not even pregnant. If you take this stance on everything, ttc is going to be very stressful

TTC could take a year or more. Are you going to cancel all weekends away in that time?

Also if you choose not to go I'd still offer to pay your share if they cant find anyone else. It's unfair if everyone else has to pay more

Why do you need to avoid the hot tub?

Well I wouldn’t put my life on hold at this point, when you’ve only just started TTC. I’d just cross that bridge as and when. I mean where do you draw the live if you’re not going to plan anything in case?

You wouldn’t have to avoid the hot tub by the way. It doesn’t affect anything and certainly not at conception/very early on. The hot tub/jacuzzi/sauna advice is about potentially altering your blood pressure and causing you to faint, nothing more.

Could you have some sort of skin infection requiring antibiotics, which means that sadly you can't use the hot tub, or drink because of the medication?

I would go on the long weekend. There is little to be gained from being obsessive while ttc. Just relax a bit.

I had a lovely time in a jacuzzi the other day at a spa and I’m 35 weeks!

You do sound a little like you’re going to be a bit precious about TTC and pregnancy OP. It’s a long road.

Live your life as normal, TTC in the background. Many women have said they conceived when they stopped thinking about it and just lived their lives - after months/years of trying. Don’t obsess over it. Go away with your friends.

Hot tub will be fine !! if pregnant...say you are on antibiotics/medication you cant drink on . If not pregnant,canceling a break away with friends for dtd is a bit extreme.

Maybe you need the fun.

Are you looking for excuses not to go?

Why do you need to avoid the hot tub?

If you're preggo, dip your feet sitting on the side of the hot tub saying it's too hot for you - find loads of excuses for not drinking - nipping to the shop to get extra goodies, take a drink and hold it in your hand and then place it down somewhere later - as the drinking goes on, they won't even notice and then just have a glass of lemonade in champagne flute 😉😉
As for DTD - do loads before you go and loads when you get back - the slippery little devils can live for up to 5 days - you're at high risk of pregnancy a few days before ovulation and a couple of days after!
Go have fun 😀😀

Thanks everyone.

I think I needed some sense talked into me. I’m definitely over thinking and worrying. You’re all right that this could be a long road, I should chill!

I didn’t know hot tubs were fine. Someone told me once you couldn’t but good to know!

Or the antibiotics excuse as PP has mentioned xx

I got in hot tubs when heavily pregnant. My doc said it was fine. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I also skied though as I’m not particularly risk-averse 😬
Anyway, I doubt it will be a problem if you’re not very pregnant. He said it wasn’t anything to do with boiling the baby, which everyone seems to think, it’s purely because it can make your blood pressure drop a bit.

Anyway, don’t put your entire life on hold because you might ‘need’ to shag.

Just say "I'm avoiding alcohol because I'm on a course of antibiotics".

Don't be that flakey friend op!! When you have a dc you will want their love and support!!
And the babysitters!!

You're right. Hot tubs are not fine in the first few weeks when the baby's spine is forming.

If the hot tub is 35- 36 degrees, it should be fine. You don't want to raise your core body temp. If it's 38 or above, I'd get in for a few minutes, maybe sit on the side then.

I remember being very precious about all this when ttc. It took bloody ages and honestly you just have to go with the flow.
I did go with the flow to the extent that we booked a “last” ski holiday. Ended up preggers within a fortnight.

Don't cancel, you might be Pg, you might not. If you are not it will be nice to be away with your friends. If you are you can pretend to drink or tell them the truth if they are close friends.

Good luck with it all op.

@PixieBigShoes what?!