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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Jesy Nelson…

83 replies

HappySonHappyMum · 17/08/2021 20:37

I watched Jesy's program on the BBC about her body image and really felt for her and was impressed with the understanding that her Little Mix bandmates had for her with regard to the clothes they wore and the things they restricted themselves doing because of her mental health and body image.The pic posted is from Jesy's Instagram. I'm not here to criticise what she's wearing - couldn't care less. But she's left her bandmates and all of a sudden everything is absolutely fine. Is she being exploited? Is it wrong to think maybe her issues weren't half as bad as she made out?

OP posts:
DoucheCanoe · 17/08/2021 20:40

I was thinking this recently too.

I wonder if there was more going on within the band itself that she wanted to get away from/was pushed out.

user1471457751 · 17/08/2021 20:41

I have wondered about this too. I think she should do what she wants but, given how much she said she hated the attention on her body and the skimpy clothes, she seems to have got over it now looking at her Instagram page.

danni0509 · 17/08/2021 20:41

I think they didn’t get on with her.

She looks amazing in that pic you posted.

ChequerBoard · 17/08/2021 20:42

I know nothing about her really. I do think though it must incredibly hard to be portrayed in the media as the less attractive one in a group of very attractive young women, regardless of how supportive they are.

Just being on her own and without the comparison of others in every photo and video must be incredibly freeing for her.

Clocktopus · 17/08/2021 20:42

Maybe by stepping away from the band she had the space she needed in order to address her self-esteem issues, improve her mental and.emotional health, and build her confidence?

AdaFuckingShelby · 17/08/2021 20:42

Yes it does seem a strange way of getting over the trauma of being forced to wear revealing outfits...

SalmonEile · 17/08/2021 20:43

The way I look it is, Jesy wearing that outfit because she chose it and feels comfortable is one thing - wearing standing next to the other girls who are slimmer, have different body types and being directly compared is another
It’s not about the revealing outfits as such , it doesn’t necessarily mean everything is fine with her either , it’s hard to explain because when her pics are in the public eye there’ll always be people who compare her to her former band mates
But when she poses like that now it’s on her own terms and if she was standing next to others she might feel very differently

ttcsucks · 17/08/2021 20:44

I think it was more about Jesys insecurities next to the other girls in the group. Now she's alone, surrounded by male backing dancers she feels more secure as she's not standing next to anyone slimmer/taller/prettier (not saying they are hit in her head I believe that's what she probably felt and thought)

BrilloPaddy · 17/08/2021 20:44

I wish she had the people in her life to pull her away from social media.

DeathStare · 17/08/2021 20:44

Shes got older and made big changes in her life. Shes made more time for herself and has probably had therapy. These are exactly the kinds of things that can help people's self-esteem.

Imnewhere1991 · 17/08/2021 20:46

She seems to have a LOT of issues. Seems Little Mix has damaged her.

ttcsucks · 17/08/2021 20:46

It's like if you were to go on a night out with you DH vs going with say, Kendall Jenner, Beyoncé and someone else beautiful. You'd feel much more insecure in the latter group (or I would anyway!)

Clocktopus · 17/08/2021 20:46

Shes got older and made big changes in her life. Shes made more time for herself and has probably had therapy. These are exactly the kinds of things that can help people's self-esteem.

Exactly the point I was making.

From the tone of the OP and some of the following posts though you'd think no one should ever recover from mental health issues and people who do recover were obviously just making it up all along Hmm

Westchesterarms · 17/08/2021 20:46

Meh. She wanted a solo career. She said what she needed to to get out of the band. She now has a solo career.

ISpyCobraKai · 17/08/2021 20:46

Does she have something to promote?

DiscoStusMoonboots · 17/08/2021 20:49

I've seen the doc, and I never got the feeling that her perception of her body was the real problem - more that it was the press/public comparing her body to the other girls'. Fair play to her for breaking out and doing her own thing - she looks incredible. I just hope she feels the same way.

HappySonHappyMum · 17/08/2021 20:55

@Clocktopus

Shes got older and made big changes in her life. Shes made more time for herself and has probably had therapy. These are exactly the kinds of things that can help people's self-esteem.

Exactly the point I was making.

From the tone of the OP and some of the following posts though you'd think no one should ever recover from mental health issues and people who do recover were obviously just making it up all along Hmm

If she has recovered from her mental health issues - that's brilliant. At no point have I suggested she's making it up. I'm just not convinced - social media is so toxic and I hope she's not being exploited. I also wonder how her ex bandmates feel having bent over backwards to accommodate her needs for so many years.
OP posts:
SalmonEile · 17/08/2021 20:59

Exactly @DiscoStusMoonboots if she had been in a group with girls of a similar body type , or better yet the media weren’t such jerks , she might have never felt like that

If someone was in a job where there were constantly complained about by their clients despite doing the same job as their teammates, theyd leave the job and probably cite the effect on their mental health as a reason , so I don’t blame her for leaving in this case

overnightangel · 17/08/2021 21:01

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Thesearmsofmine · 17/08/2021 21:02

She was constantly compared to her band mates and she couldn’t control the images out out there of them that people pored over and commented on. Going solo means she will no longer be photographed alongside them(although she will still get hate).
When it comes to Instagram she can control what pictures go out, they will be filtered and edited until they don’t even look like reality.

afghanistanwhatnow · 17/08/2021 21:12

I agree OP, for someone suffering with mental health so badly as she described this seems like a very bad idea to me. For her to dress like that and what attention - all of the things she complained about

BoredZelda · 17/08/2021 21:12

At no point have I suggested she's making it up. I'm just not convinced - social media is so toxic and I hope she's not being exploited.

Not convinced about what? Your post made is pretty clear you don’t believe she had the MH issues she claimed to, why pretend it came from a place of concern now?

Perhaps the only thing you should be taking from the whole saga is, judging her for what she is or isn’t doing is exactly what caused problems in the first place so maybe just lay off her.

Sn0tnose · 17/08/2021 21:13

Is it wrong to think maybe her issues weren't half as bad as she made out? Yes. It is.

At no point have I suggested she's making it up I’m curious as to what other interpretation could be put on the first of your quotes, because asking if it’s wrong to think that she’s exaggerated her issues sounds an awful lot like you think she made them up.

phoenixrosehere · 17/08/2021 21:17

I also wonder how her ex bandmates feel having bent over backwards to accommodate her needs for so many years.

Well, Leigh-Ann and Perrie are currently pregnant so probably more concerned with that at the moment.

YouMeandtheSpew · 17/08/2021 21:21

But just because someone’s had mental health issues and body issues doesn’t mean that other people get to police what she wears and what she posts for ever more.

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