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Original poster

Jesy Nelson…

83 replies

HappySonHappyMum · 17/08/2021 20:37

I watched Jesy's program on the BBC about her body image and really felt for her and was impressed with the understanding that her Little Mix bandmates had for her with regard to the clothes they wore and the things they restricted themselves doing because of her mental health and body image.The pic posted is from Jesy's Instagram. I'm not here to criticise what she's wearing - couldn't care less. But she's left her bandmates and all of a sudden everything is absolutely fine. Is she being exploited? Is it wrong to think maybe her issues weren't half as bad as she made out?

OP posts:
ToykotoLosAngeles · 17/08/2021 22:08

I personally think, with 2 out of 4 of them being engaged/in serious relationships plus not far off their 30s, she could see the baby/wedding stage coming and used her (completely legitimate and true) struggles as an out.
Apparently some of them weren't great at being away from family and boyfriends for so long when touring.

They're supposedly on tour next year and I really feel for Jade as it's going to be so much harder work with babies in tow.

Passmeamenuatthetottenham · 17/08/2021 22:10

I think she has probably got major issues. And it's not surprising really, even the old X factor threads on Mumsnet were absolutely horrific about her appearance, and that's nothing compared to what she will have got from Twitter etc. And maybe that did make her difficult to work with, and also made it difficult for her to be in the band for herself as well.

I think she just wants people to think of her as 'beautiful', hence the sorts of photos she is doing now. I really feel for her, I don't think she will ever find the validation she is looking for, she will be criticised no matter what she does.

CabbagesGreen · 17/08/2021 22:12

Is it wrong to think maybe her issues weren't half as bad as she made out?

Yes

Passmeamenuatthetottenham · 17/08/2021 22:13

They're supposedly on tour next year and I really feel for Jade as it's going to be so much harder work with babies in tow.

Yes, think about how difficult it can be for friendships etc when people start having babies and another friend doesn't. It will be like that, but it will be friendship and work combined! Maybe it will work really well, but I think that Little Mix may have run their course and they had a fantastic innings to be fair!

MiaMarshmallows · 17/08/2021 22:14

@Shehasadiamondinthesky Going to pull you up on that. The other girls don't have weird, teen bodies. They are petite in their body shapes. Nothing weird or unnatural about it. Confused Very strange comment to make and rude.

paepoyrol · 17/08/2021 22:16

It's a vicious cycle, she clearly feels pressure to look a certain way su filters & shops herself which fuels the beast & she wants the validation from others but not the criticism which is unrealistic.

stripedbananas · 17/08/2021 22:19

Her issues were real to her and affected her and she is free to make whatever choices she wants in life.

lovelychops · 17/08/2021 22:22

janaiah thank you. I'm off to read more about it now

OliverBabish · 17/08/2021 22:23

She looks good. I hope she feels as good as she looks.

SalmonEile · 17/08/2021 22:25

@paepoyrol you have it 100% spot on.

She would’ve spent years feeling inadequate and judged , now she’s in control and doesn’t have to sit in a room and discuss outfits and poses with 3 other women and what suits who and feel like a spare part because of the media.
She’s been attacked so much she’ll want to try and put her “best” self forward

DietrichandDiMaggio · 17/08/2021 22:29

[quote MiaMarshmallows]@Shehasadiamondinthesky Going to pull you up on that. The other girls don't have weird, teen bodies. They are petite in their body shapes. Nothing weird or unnatural about it. Confused Very strange comment to make and rude.[/quote]
Yes, also the use of 'proper women' - I hate it when people (almost always women) suggest that slim women aren't proper/real women.

Birminghambloke · 17/08/2021 22:32

The level of trolling and vile comments Jesy received was something else. I remember reading them. I think when you then listen to Leigh-Anne’s documentary, it does not seem that either were happy with aspects of their Little Mix experience, whilst recognising the opportunity they had/ have. Nothing is worth continuing to feel awful.

I too have left a job due to the level of personal abuse received- nothing linked to how I did my job but personal appearance, supposed relationships. It took its emotional toll and I resigned before getting a new job (risky life and career wise- but it worked through brilliantly thankfully). I’d had enough of unjust abuse from random people and I completely understand why Jesy left Little Mix receiving the extreme level of personally attacking commentary she received.

Does this mean she should change how she looks or what she wears? Should she present in a different way? No. She likely has had some support from those who truly care for her (maybe specialists too) and has healed in some way, carving out her next steps. She cannot let the commentators continue to impact. They’ll try. However, it’s about her own confidence and presenting who she is in the way she wishes to.

phoenixrosehere · 17/08/2021 22:32

Are we not allowed to be proper women now? My skeleton alone is bigger than two of those girls.

What does a proper woman look like? So because your skeleton is supposedly bigger, you’re more of a women than those WOMEN (not girls) who are smaller than you aren’t?

Wow.

phoenixrosehere · 17/08/2021 22:33

*no aren’t

Grapewrath · 17/08/2021 22:36

I think there were a lot of awful comments in the early days, I remember the awful things written about her in the X factor run lives.
I think she made the show about feeling the odd one out and it got a lot of positive attention and changed the group dynamic- the underdog was suddenly the most prolific. I think that probably caused a lot of issues and I think it probably showed Jesu there was a lot of interest elsewhere, which likely compounded the fact she was unhappy and gave her other options.
I don’t think her self esteem was the biggest reason she left the band, I think it started off as that but these other factors were also at play

MiaMarshmallows · 17/08/2021 22:53

Unbelievable that healthy looking young women are being slated on here. How anyone can criticise the way the little mix girls bodies look is just beyond me.
Can you only be a real woman if you are not slim and petite now?
This thread is making me angry. Stepping away now.

SpacePotato · 17/08/2021 23:08

Are we not allowed to be proper women now? My skeleton alone is bigger than two of those girls

Wow.
My body shape at their age was very similar to Perrie's. Didn't realise that being a healthy weight for my height and frame meant I wasn't a proper woman Hmm

Jesy was tormented daily from such a young age. Any insecurities she may already have had would've been amplified a thousand fold.
Being told constantly that you're the fat, ugly. There was no let up or escape for her. Is it any wonder she's so messed up and now looking to those same abusers for validation that she is now pretty, thin and sexy enough?

Caffeinemonster · 17/08/2021 23:42

Anyone who puts pictures of themselves on a public social media site is inviting comments. She absolutely does not look like that in real life. She is fuelling the issue. I have zero sympathy for the woman in this regard.

PickAChew · 17/08/2021 23:50

This thread is exactly why people in the public eye can suffer a decline in their mental health. So many people far too invested in a bloody stranger.

SecondCityShark · 17/08/2021 23:53

Social media is terrible for young women.

So many of them are destroyed mentally by it but are simultaneously addicted to the constant drip feed of attention. I don't know Jesy obviously, but it seems like that sort of dynamic.

Caffeinemonster · 17/08/2021 23:53

@PickAChew

This thread is exactly why people in the public eye can suffer a decline in their mental health. So many people far too invested in a bloody stranger.
Or too many people in the public eye with zero talent who rely on social media for their “career”. They wouldn’t have any public image if people weren’t invested in them.
Snoozer11 · 18/08/2021 00:14

If she hated receiving negative comments so much she shouldn't have posted so many revealing photos of herself on Instagram. She seems conceited.

There are rumours that her lifestyle was "chaotic" and the other members didn't want to be dragged down with her, so she got the boot.

I don't think the other three can stand her, and to be honest I don't blame them.

Anoisagusaris · 18/08/2021 00:20

I hate the fact that she now looks like a clone of so many young women of that generation. It’s a horrible artificial look that completely hides (rather than enhancing) a person’s natural appearance.

Clocktopus · 18/08/2021 00:22

If she hated receiving negative comments so much she shouldn't have posted so many revealing photos of herself on Instagram

Victim-blame, much?

SpindleWhorl · 18/08/2021 00:38

I think she has probably got major issues. And it's not surprising really, even the old X factor threads on Mumsnet were absolutely horrific about her appearance

I remember that, a number of posters were calling her 'Miss Piggy', @Passmeamenuatthetottenham. Then a couple of posters told the otherwise very funny thread posters to really think about what they were doing, and it stopped fortunately.

But it was quite illuminating of how anyone in the public eye might as well paint a target on them, especially young women. I think she was quite young at the time?