My life rules

[54321nought]

Things life has taught me

1. Never never never eat white bread, or feed it to children, it just changes to sugar in your body, it is poison!

1. Never never never support slave based industry, eg cannabis, clothing made with child labour, UNNESSESARY TECH UPGRADES, like replacing perfectly good working phones for no reason

1. I'm sure I will think of more. Not much point in going into the environmental ones, like limit meat and diary, and never eat fish, don't drink bottled water etc, much debated elsewhere on Mumsnet

What are yours?

1. Don't poke cats in the bum with a fork. They don't like it, and moreover it is unhygienic.

1. Radiators must NEVER be orange.

1. When hoiking up your judgey pants, be sure to check that they are made from eco-friendly hand-woven, bee-preserving, vegan, gluten-free, locally produced fabric, and check rigorously for skid marks from talking out of your arse.

@SleepingStandingUp

1. No bare penis' at mealtimes.

1. Never put toddlers to nap in wrap nappies and no bottoms.

1. Don't let the kids watch Ryan's World. They'll want stuff and you'll wonder how you failed so much as a parent that you're not a millionaire for raising an annoying kid who opens toys

Number three I wished I'd known sooner. My daughter is five and depressed at our small house compared to multi millionaire Ryan and his parents play with Ryan all the time 🙄

@SleepingStandingUp

well number one would have trashed a lot of my fun when I was younger 🤣🤣🤣 I don't care, i have three sons and a DH, i just need everyone in pants or nappies

:) :) :)

I did think OP was making a statement My Life Rules!! I thought that was very positive

@Keepitonthedownlow

None of these comments are remotely funny.

Most of them are fucking hilarious.

Stay off AIBU: it's a fucking bear pit. Bye!

@ComeonJulia

1. Remember that white bread is better for young children than brown bread as brown makes them feel full even if they aren’t.

1. Don’t be a dick.

This is actually incorrect, I'm a paeds nurse and deal with a lot of allergies with my own kids. This is a common misconception

3. When hoiking up your judgey pants, be sure to check that they are made from eco-friendly hand-woven, bee-preserving, vegan, gluten-free, locally produced fabric, and check rigorously for skid marks from talking out of your arse.

@Janaih

*your purse.

can i keep my stamps somewhere else or does it have to be a purse? I have got a wallet, does that count?

I am NOT SURE about this. You may need to sign a disclaimer.

You can never have too many black t-shirts.

I can't remember who asked about the orgasm thing.

But essentially, and in my experience, when you orgasm with a black eye it feels as though your eyeball is exploding uncontrollably. And not in a good way.

Are you confusing cannabis and cocaine? Cannabis, round here at least, is grown in people's attics and does not involve slave labour.

Doubt you know anything about it anyway.

People say x then at times it's oh I said y instead, any agreements you have with people always get it in text or writing especially as people change their minds.

People are never what they appear to be, always assume they have different motives and perspectives than what they say they have until proven otherwise.

Never give your true thoughts and perspectives, especially if they are against the mainstream perspectives.

People tend to get defensive at times when debating a topic

Well I personally love poisoning myself occasionally with honey and lurpak on white toast. I don’t smoke weed and I only upgrade my phone when it’s on its last legs so unsure whether I’ll still make it to your Heaven.

@mangoontoast

Are you confusing cannabis and cocaine? Cannabis, round here at least, is grown in people's attics and does not involve slave labour.

Doubt you know anything about it anyway.

www.theguardian.com/news/2019/jul/26/vietnamese-cannabis-farms-children-enslaved

It's pretty common for cannabis farms in the UK to be run by criminal gangs using slaves.

@pineapplecat21

Since when did the local cannabis farms use children as slaves? YABU. To much conspiracies on the internet...

most uk cannabis farms use children as slaves, this is not a conspiracy, this is well reported, and I have met many of the slaves - trafficked from aisan countries, not fed properly, not educated or offered any medical care.

This is a light hearted thread, but I am shocked when people try to deny such important facts about what is going on in the world around them

You are most likely sitting not 10 miles away from slaves

@mangoontoast are you in the U.K.?

Your experience is not the norm. There are a number of studies. This one might interest you: here

@mangoontoast

Are you confusing cannabis and cocaine? Cannabis, round here at least, is grown in people's attics and does not involve slave labour.

Doubt you know anything about it anyway.

I know a lot about it, and it would seem you don't.

For a start, I am an emergency foster carer, and child slaves that the police encounter locally are sometimes brought to me over night, mostly from cannabis farms, mostly not having been educated, received medical treatment or been properly fed for years

Cardio, cardio, cardio!

Beware of bathrooms!

Buckle up

Check the back seat

Enjoy the little things

For a couple of throw away comments before I went out - this thread has had a lot of responses! Haven't read them all yet.

But am genuinely surprised at the lack of knowledge of white bread.

Yes, all carbs turn to sugar in your body, but nothing else with the speed that white bread does.

There is literally no physiological difference between eating a slice of white bread, and just opening your mouth and pouring a cup of sugar in.

Go ahead, do either of them any time you want to! Its a free country.

But don't do it in ignorance - at least know what you are doing

@Hilda40

Try not to be a sanctimonious twat

I think I'm probably just joining the line at this point in the but.......,,😂😂😂😂👍

@54321nought

For a couple of throw away comments before I went out - this thread has had a lot of responses! Haven't read them all yet.

But am genuinely surprised at the lack of knowledge of white bread.

Yes, all carbs turn to sugar in your body, but nothing else with the speed that white bread does.

There is literally no physiological difference between eating a slice of white bread, and just opening your mouth and pouring a cup of sugar in.

Go ahead, do either of them any time you want to! Its a free country.

But don't do it in ignorance - at least know what you are doing

One slice of white bread is equivalent to a whole cup of sugar!? Uh-huh. Maybe, like a teaspoon I could believe, maybe 2…

Go ahead, do either of them any time you want to! Its a free country.

1. Always use an apostrophe if one is needed.

I didn't know it could get better after the first post😱

@mangoontoast

Are you confusing cannabis and cocaine? Cannabis, round here at least, is grown in people's attics and does not involve slave labour.

Doubt you know anything about it anyway.

Exactly! The OP's talking utter shite.

Cannabis farms indeed. It's not like you have to sit there and watch it grow