What tiny things have you done to specifically annoy someone?

[FlyingSoHigh]

My Mil came from a pretty wealthy family and definitely saw herself as a 'cut above' most people.
So I always used to chop carrots into rounds when she came for a meal as I knew she thought it was 'common'; posh people always cut carrots into sticks.
It was a tiny thing but it gave me so much pleasure over the years.
Can anyone beat passive-aggressive cooked carrots?

@Georgyporky

I'm amazed that you both put away other peoples' clothing.

Not sure why you think it’s weird. If I do the drying I put our stuff away, if DH does the drying he puts the stuff away. What’s weird about that?

@Piglet89

I draw crude representations of cocks and balls on my husband’s work papers, since we have both been working from home.

yes - i do this too. i bought dh a Bob Ross desk calendar for Christmas the idea being it would go to the office with him, but that hasn't happened. occasionally i add bits to Bob's pictures. sometimes subtle, like birds in the sky other times, not so subtle, like huge dick shaped buildings.

@EdinburghLights

Someone was really rude to me at work and I didn't meet their gaze/look them in the eye for five years. I was perfectly polite. I just didn't look at them.

You passive aggressively sulked for five years and you’re boasting about it?

You should check the rest of the thread to see whether the sulkee is on here. Telling us about how they cheerily waved at you each morning in defiance.

@Disneycharacter

Dh has a thing for turning off the kettle, along with almost all electrical appliances that don't need turning off, like toasters or blenders at night. They stay on all day and manage not to spontaneously combust.

If I'm annoyed with him I turn the kettle off every time I use it through the day and watch him waiting 5 minutes wondering why the kettle isn't boiling. It annoys me having to remember to turn it on despite years of this nonsense.

Be careful. Our blender once went on spontaneously during the day. The smell of burning plastic was horrific. If we hadn't been home to hear it, it would have gone on fire.

@Mumteedum

When I was a student in a house share in ancient times, I used to hold the phone quite near when my housemate's mother rang and shout for her with a thick local accent "it's yer maaaaaaaam". Housemate used to love informing us that she came from the home counties and was a cut above. I could feel her mother wincing down the phone.

My ex was very stupid. He didn't know that my car had heated seats when we were living in Australia. So I used to turn his on and watch him squirm as his arse got hotter and hotter in contrast to the aircon I was blasting at our faces.

We have a couple of forks and spoons that are really awful (thanks MIL) when somebody in my household is annoying me I give them one of those items, they have no idea!

When my partner does my head in, I switch the WiFi on and off quickly then run off to play with the kids, he has to come out of the office fuss around, back and fore to see if it's back on, scratching his head wondering what's wrong with it, asking everyone if their devices are down, all the time I'm dancing inside 😂

@RonObvious

My MIL always makes a big palaver out of cooking when we visit. The prep for the Christmas dinner starts at 7am (for eating at 3/4pm), and we are given a detailed running commentary on exactly what she has done / is going to do. When they come to us for Christmas, we take great joy in casually cooking the Christmas meal, waving brushing off any offers of help with "It's hardly rocket science, it's only a roast!"

Ha! SIL does this too. She’s a massive kitchen martyr. Won’t have any help that’s offered, so we have to sit awkwardly in the living room, listening to her huffing and moaning to BIL like she’s making some Michelin starred feast. And it’ll literally be a few sandwiches and ready made picnic things.

When they come over ours, I always pre prep something so I can bung it in the oven, and sit with the guests drinking wine, casually mentioning how it’s all under control if she offers to help.

I wouldn’t usually be this much of a knob but she winds me up for other reasons that are too numerous to get into, so it amuses me.

@Nc123

If my husband annoys me I make his tea in the mug he hates

this is soooooooo British

@Amima

That isn't funny. That is the definition of gaslighting you know. Oh do fuck off. The beeping gadget is literally sold in a joke shop as a practical joke.

So come clean to your husband after 10 years of your joke and see if he laughs

@Mammaaof

When my partner does my head in, I switch the WiFi on and off quickly then run off to play with the kids, he has to come out of the office fuss around, back and fore to see if it's back on, scratching his head wondering what's wrong with it, asking everyone if their devices are down, all the time I'm dancing inside 😂

While he's working?

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

I don't know if this winds people up or not but I still do it!

I have a name that can be misspelled easily by adding another letter onto the end. Too many people do this in reply to emails, DESPITE it being FULLY OBVIOUS in my own email address how my name is spelled.

So when I reply, I add the extra letter to the end of their name too.

I would say it works in about 2/3 of cases, that they realise and don't do it again.

I have a similar issue and this is genius. I'm adopting it!

As you say, the correct spelling is right there in the bloody e-mail 🤣.

I had a supervisor who was trying to bully me out of my job so she could hire her friend instead. A colleague was her partner in crime and they both were very easily wound up, getting stressed over very minor things that were actually part of the job we did. Supervisor also turned a blind eye to the frequent lateness/absenteeism of colleague and indulged in similar behaviour quite a bit herself.

The meaner they were to me, the more I pretended that their comments and digs went totally over my head and I made a point of acting happy and content around the office even if I had to nip into the toilets to stop myself crying at their constant bullying.

The more they stressed and bitched about the work they were asked to do, fobbing it off on me, the more I cheerfully got stuck in, finished it ahead of deadlines and to a very high quality. That earned me praise and recognition from managers, which only pissed the two off even more.

They escalated the bullying to the point management had to take notice. I kept on being a good employee, whereas colleague was dismissed a year after I started without a reference, and supervisor fucked up by trying to demote me after maternity leave which would have been a slam-dunk in the Labour Court and at a time where bad press of any sort would have spelled disaster for the company. So that earned her a massive bollocking, and got her managed out eventually once they started to realise that she was utterly incompetent in other ways as well.

I'm still there 14 years on, and the job is lovely now. I've wonderful (sane!) colleagues, managers, and the pay is great with nice bonuses, the workload is easy and the flexibility of the role is very handy for family life.

We have a firestick and I have a mobile app to control it. Sometimes, when DP is really annoying me (he will sit for hours and watch stupid videos on YouTube on the TV, and will watch 2 hours of film trailers rather than pick an actual film) I will go up to bed before him and press the 'home' button on my app. It works so long as I'm connected to the WiFi so it'll take him off whatever he's watching.

I can only do it once, and it does really annoy him - it'd be too obvious if I did it again on the same day, I think.

This is quite mild but when were renovating the interior of our house, our builder/decorator, who did a great job btw, was really opinionated about my choices of colours. He thought all interiors should be neutral. he particularly hated my choice of dark red for the dining room, with black chandeliers (it was rather Edgar Allen Poe I admit). We chose a fairly neutral colour for the kitchen and he was visibly relieved that I had finally been sensible.

After that I made some rather bold choices just because it amused me to see how horrified he would be. I have a lovely teal study, raspberry bedroom and plum coloured bathroom. I actually love them and am quite pleased I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, even if it was originally to amuse myself at winding someone up. The customer is always right!

Why would you turn on someone’s heated seat on a hot day to “watch them squirm”? Why would you turn off the WiFi when somebody is working then pretend that you hadn’t? It is just weird, and cruel.

Don't we tell children it's only a joke if the other person laughs?

Switching WiFi off whilst someone is working and laughing...if I lost documents I'd worked because someone thought that was funny to the extent they are dancing with laughter...or cut off a meeting I'd divorce them and see how hard they laughed.

My Mil is a bit of a snob and didn't approve of DS being given hand me downs (even hardly worn things from his younger but bigger cousin) and once uttered the words that "people like us don't buy from charity shops, we give to them". She also mentioned that if we couldn't afford new then she would buy them. It never was a money thing!! I'd actually got some nice things for DS from the charity shop and a load of lovely hand me downs from places like Gap and Next so I took great delight in telling her where they came from. If some of her cronies were around to hear me so much the better!!

Strangely she seems to have changed her tune and bought furniture from the British Heart Foundation Furniture Shop. I am not sure whether she actually realised that it was a second hand shop!!

Next door used to go out all day and leave their dog barking in the garden. One night it was raining and I threw a whole box of oxo cubes over the fence and they melted into the grass. Their dog wrecked the garden searching for the smell.

Buying a plastic carrier bag in a shop simply because a bossy, overtly
‘green’ friend was trying to force her cloth ones on me. I purely did it to annoy her.

Absolutely love the Phil Taylor / Ian Rush tall stories

My own is that my annoying ex used to spit feathers at people getting the words of Auld Lang Syne wrong. It's supposed to be "we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne" and not "for the sake of auld lang syne".
I took great delight in warbling "... for the sake of auld lang syne" every single new year's eve, until I found the resolve to leave him (he was a twat for many other reasons too).

I think some of these ‘pranks’ are things people would love to do….but actually don’t.

Colleague on the closing shift was expected to do a quick tidy behind the till, empty the bin, and sweep through the shop floor before closing. 10 minute job, but he was always 'too busy' and left it for the morning shift to do before opening the next day. So I started tidying before leaving at 2pm, always making sure there were only pencils left out on the staff table so he'd have to unlock the office and go through the drawers to find a biro to complete the daily returns paperwork.

We have neighbours who, 13 years ago, tried to drive us out of our house because she wanted something of ours. It got really seriously nasty. They hates that we weren't intimidated by them. Every time I see her I give her a cheery hello as if nothing ever happened. Every time she looks like she's just swallowed a wasp