What tiny things have you done to specifically annoy someone?

[FlyingSoHigh]

My Mil came from a pretty wealthy family and definitely saw herself as a 'cut above' most people.
So I always used to chop carrots into rounds when she came for a meal as I knew she thought it was 'common'; posh people always cut carrots into sticks.
It was a tiny thing but it gave me so much pleasure over the years.
Can anyone beat passive-aggressive cooked carrots?

I used to work in a sales related environment but the MD couldn't accept it was simply that. He would always liken the environment to something much more highbrow with outcomes driven by data. So at every opportunity I would drop into the conversation 'oh well it's just a numbers game really'. Used to drive him mad and gave me deep satisfaction.

My MIL is ostentatiously Christian. More Christian than you could ever be. More Christian than the Pope. Certainly, more than I could be.

During my Wedding, she loudly talked, during our vows, about her 'coming to Christ'. She actually stopped my ds' Christening by holding her hand up and doing similar (she was then furious that she didn't get The Picture of her and him in his robe as he became ill and had to be taken to the hospital in a babygro which was underneath & easier)

When it came to the time for my Dds Christening, MIL declared it to be 'at the wrong time of year, why not hold it in the summer when the flowers are our for nicer pictures'. I'd had a lot of infertility & misc and it was important to me at that time to hold the Christening within 6m of Dd birth, so we did and MIL didn't attend, in very high dudgeon.

She has 5 grandchildren. 4 Christening pics on mantelpiece as I've never 'remembered' to give her one of Dd's out of pettiness (nor has H, out of laziness). I am aware this is hardly Christian behavior of me either and I can't think of another time I've deliberately done similar.

(it doesn't upset Dd as the children are never invited to visit. MIL is more about the pictures to show pals than the children themselves)

DH and I met at work. Shortly after we got engaged a woman started there and launched a campaign to woo my husband - she was really obviously flirting with him, trying to get him to go out for drinks etc and ignoring me. I am a really good baker and started bringing in cakes and things on a Friday as I was preparing for a competition. I knew this woman couldn’t eat a certain common ingredient so I made sure all my bakes contained it. She couldn’t have any but had to listen to everyone rave about how talented I was and how lucky DH was to be marrying me

I have no excuse for this, however my DH has been very guilty of gossiping in the past. I sometimes make up stories about sports people from the past and tell my husband what they are up to now, last week I told him how Phil Taylor (former Darts champion) got into the Guinness Book of Records for completing the worlds fastest 1000 piece jigsaw. Last month it was that the Leaning Tower of Pisa had fallen over and that Ian Rush (formerly of Liverpool FC) was the only one to capture it on film but had his finger over the lens which rendered the video useless. I have to walk straight out of the room when I tell him these things as my shaking shoulders give it away. He is a lovely man but also a technophobe so he usually finds out a day or two later when he repeats the story to one of his workmates.

I had the great misfortune to work a small clique of most unpleasant colleagues. I was their line manager but they simply refused to do any tasks that they didn't want to do and made my life so bloody miserable that I ultimately quit the job I loved.

The one small thing that really pissed them off was me keeping a game face. They wanted to see how much they were upsetting me. I was not going to let that happen. Every time they challenged me or refused point blank to do the tasks my own line manager had set I just smiled and said 'ok'. They would try to push for a reaction, but I would go on repeat - smile and say 'ok'.

One of them has my old job now. I wonder how she is managing with her old cronies? She is either having to do all of the tasks they will not do herself - in which case she will burn out in a matter of weeks, or she will have to go to her own line manager and tell them what a nasty, unprofessional bunch she has in her team. They might listen to her - they never listened to me. I have contacts in my old place so I will soon find out how it all plays out. Karma.

They did me a favour. I am loving my stress free life now.

@SteelyEyes Oh my word. You are an absolute legend.

The detail on those stories...

My MIL thinks all women over 30 should cut their hair short. She got her Lego lady haircut at 30, so obviously we all have to do the same, as long hair is unsightly on an over the hill mid-30s woman like me.

I usually tie my hair back in a ponytail or bun, but when we go to MILs house I always make sure I wear my hair down to show off my long, flowing locks. Hopefully I have shed a few hairs on her couch over the years.

If my husband annoys me I make his tea in the mug he hates

Not me but my phone.

Sometimes, when I get invested in a thread, it will randomly throw me out of Mumsnet for no obvious reason, so I have to go back in and find the page I was on. Last week's CF parking threads were a nightmare.

If my phone were a person, I'd LTB.

My MIL always makes a big palaver out of cooking when we visit. The prep for the Christmas dinner starts at 7am (for eating at 3/4pm), and we are given a detailed running commentary on exactly what she has done / is going to do. When they come to us for Christmas, we take great joy in casually cooking the Christmas meal, waving brushing off any offers of help with "It's hardly rocket science, it's only a roast!"

@SteeleyEyes
The made up Ian Rush story has me giggling to myself. That is so funny! 😂

Mine is so petty. I bought myself a gold-coloured iPad because bossy know-it-all ex kept going on about how the dark grey colour was the only cool one to get and the one all proper techie people like him would choose. He was being such a test that day and it was shortly before I finally ended it.

It was fun in the apple store choosing it while he stood by looking embarrassed and huffing and puffing.

Still have it, using it now and it always reminds me of pissing him off :)

Test? I meant twat

In a previous job, another company was "merged" with ours and i ended up working for a team within that and the people, especially the managers were pretty horrible to me. My original company had it's own font so every time i worked on any documents or sent any emails to them, i made sure i used that font. They didn't have that one on their systems so it would just use any other and the layout etc wouldn't quite work. Petty but I enjoyed it.

One rather bumptious colleague made the mistake of holding forth about which of our morning hymns he found annoying, from a limited knowledge of matters musical. To be fair, some of them weren't my favourites either, but I tried to keep a good variety going, and if you irk the person in charge of the hymn list, you have to live with a subsequent week of 240 little boys bellowing out a hymn which irritates you.......boys were happy, I started the day with a spring in my step and he left assemblies with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

I break the series link on things dh is recording...he works shifts and often I get the "clash message" as he has set the bloody box to record two things and I want to watch something else.
If he's been particularly wilful about the tv I delete odd episodes from a series. And I remember to delete it from the deleted file, so it is as if it never existed.
He thinks the box is on its way out and I join in with his complaining in pretend sympathy

Also he cannot ignore his phone, so if he is really bugging me I bide my time until he is settled and then say "was that your phone?" and he'll get up go across the room to check.

@ablutiions

As a teenager I worked in WH Smith. When the revolting pervy men used to sneak in furtively to buy their top shelf mags, and come to the counter, I used to smile sweetly, hold the mag up high above my head and say VERY loudly "would you like a bag for this Sir?" Every single time . Joyous

And for the very annoying people asking over and over "where are the diaries please?" A; "over there madam, just under the giant sign that says 'diaries' "

A life in retail was not for me.

@ablutiions you’ve reminded me of another one! I worked in a petrol station aged 18 with a well-stocked shelf of porn. Every time a pervy old trucker came in to buy one I’d run the purchase through the till and when the requested a bag I would smile sweetly and tell them we had run out, sorry. NB we definitely hadn’t.

@canihaveacoffeeplease I have a Rubik's cube on as well. As a child i used to peel the stickers off and put them back on in different places. People used to get so frustrated that they couldn't finish the puzzle.

[quote LadyPenelope68]@Doublestar

Mine is when DH is annoying me (which is quite frequently lately) I deliberately put his laundry away in the wrong places. He then tells me patiently whilst he's rearranging everything where I've gone wrong..."the socks go in this drawer love" while I smile and go "u-huh, u-huh" like I give a shit. Then I carry on as I was. Poor thing doesn't realise I do it on purpose!

OMG! I do the exact same thing!!! 🤣🤣🤣[/quote]
I'm amazed that you both put away other peoples' clothing.

I've never even considered doing it.

I used to make stuff up about myself to wind up the office gossip who felt entitled to information about me ( and everyone else).

I work in/around the family law field and there’s one particular lawyer who regularly seems to get the name of the children wrong. It drives me bonkers as it’s such a basic yet key part of the work. I’ve taken to calling him a different name each time we meet. He knows why. It’s petty but ultimately satisfying.

My husband likes to have everything as technological as possible, which is annoying for a Luddite like me. It does have its benefits though when I can randomly turn the lights off, change the tv channel or my personal favourite, turn up the heating from anywhere in the world.

@Rockmehardplace

If DH is annoying me, I transfer £1 into his bank account with references like “uraw*nker”. Petty but makes me happy.

ha!

@WolfFleeceSpotter

A few jobs back, my old boss was vile. If I had an excuse to go in his office, I would make a point of twisting the phone cord around so when he picked up the phone, the cable was very short and he would have to speak to the person with his head close to the phone whilst he untangled it.

That has me properly laughing.