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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to sit in the front seat?

106 replies

Cupcakejamlover · 05/08/2021 00:52

I have had a baby (4months old now) and we are just getting a car now. (Couldnt afford it sooner)

I was wondering why I see so many people where the mum or dad (whoever is the passenger) sits in the back with the baby. I generally get really dizzy in the back and I dont drive therefore me sitting in the back is the only option if one of us has to, but the question is, Does one of us really have to at this age? Or is that more in the newborn phase? Why do people do it if there is mirros that you could hang and i could turn around checking on baby? If it is necessary/ recommended, until what age?

OP posts:
wishing3 · 05/08/2021 00:57

I do it because the baby cries /screams if she’s in the back by herself. Can manage about10 mins tops by herself in back with me singing to her from front then gets v upset and screams. She’s 8 months old. Your experience will hopefully be different!

Original poster
Cupcakejamlover · 05/08/2021 01:03

Oh our baby loves the car, he falls asleep every time within minutes when we get an uber / get in a car with friends

OP posts:
ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 05/08/2021 01:09

YANBU.

I never sat in the back seat next to baby/babies/toddlers unless
a, there was already a health concern and we were on our way to A&E.
b, on a long journey baby needed to be fed (ff).

I've always done most of the weekday daytime driving anyway so I had no option to sit in the back.

ShitShop · 05/08/2021 01:18

It’s easier to hold their hand or give a bottle etc but not really necessary if your baby’s happy in the car. I only ever did it as a last resort on a long journey when DS was overtired and couldn’t get himself to sleep without seeing me and having me stroke his head etc

NiceGerbil · 05/08/2021 01:20

I didn't.

And if only other person is driver then...

LittleSheps · 05/08/2021 01:28

Maybe they can’t fit in the front? I physically couldn’t sit in the front of our car when my DD4 was a baby - the isofix plus baby seat wouldn’t fit behind the driver to provide enough leg room for myself or my husband so it had to go behind the passenger seat which meant whoever wasn’t driving had to sit in the back. It was not fun. It was better once she was in the next stage seat and could be forward facing but we changed the car when she was 17 months old and we made sure our new car could comfortably fit a car seat behind each front seat!

NiceGerbil · 05/08/2021 01:32

I saw this loads.

Dad driving mum in back with baby.

I had no idea why!

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 05/08/2021 01:42

My dsis did that, ended up sitting in the back for years, wedged between two car seats.

ShippingNews · 05/08/2021 01:43

I don't think I ever sat in the back with either of mine. Maybe if the baby was sick, but not otherwise.

ElCaMum · 05/08/2021 03:21

I did for the my firstborn on the journey home from the hospital but never again with her or my second born!!!
I get it if you have a fussy baby but I have had friends who somehow think they’re protecting the baby Hmm
Each to their own but no if you don’t want to, you’re good in the front.

DifferentHair · 05/08/2021 03:42

Sitting in the front of the car is reasonable.

Sitting in the back of the car is reasonable.

Both valid choices. Do you second guess yourself over small things a lot?

Topseyt · 05/08/2021 03:48

I only sat in the back with mine for the journey home from hospital as newborns. Never again after that.

TwoZeroTwoZero · 05/08/2021 03:59

I never sat in the back when mine were babies. I didn't realise it was a thing.

Apeirogon · 05/08/2021 04:07

Some babies hate the car and cry, and a parent sitting with them can help. But if yours is happy in the car it shouldn't be a problem.

Happyhappyday · 05/08/2021 04:19

I make DH sit in the back if DD is fussy (he hates driving) so I don’t have listen to the yelling… we’ve never done it for safety reasons (there really aren’t any), just to keep baby quiet

Kokosrieksts · 05/08/2021 04:34

Because they get upset and bored or chuck their toy down and can’t reach. My daughter is 2,5 years old and I still sit in the back for longer journeys, because it makes it much easier to communicate, point things out the window etc.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 05/08/2021 04:43

Only time I did this was on DC1's journey home from hospital after she was born. I then invested in a mirror for her to look on that hooks onto the headrest of the seat the car seat is in. Brilliant invention, very handy for seeing if she had nodded off to sleep yet or not

AdditionalCharacter · 05/08/2021 05:05

I didn't do it with any of mine. I don't travel well to start with and sitting in the back makes me feel sick.

BabyofMine · 05/08/2021 05:10

I do it because I want to. I like being there with my child. In the beginning she cried a lot and it was easier, but now I just really like being there and talking to her about what we see out of the window etc. Mind you I’ve never understood why the front passenger seat is considered more “grown up”.

miltonj · 05/08/2021 05:16

If you're baby loves the car then it's not an issue, just sit in the front. People do it because they're babies get upset and they need someone to pass them a toy, put funny back on, stroke head etc. My babies quite good in the car, but used to have the occasional melt down, to the point where she could barely breathe through the tears. Subsequently I sat in the back every time as ot wasn't worth risking that happening and me not being able to help. Only within the last couple of months (baby now nearly 11mpnths) have a stopped.

miltonj · 05/08/2021 05:20

*Dummy back in

miltonj · 05/08/2021 05:21

Oh god, my post is riddled with mistakes. You can tell it's 5:20 😅

PurpleFlower1983 · 05/08/2021 05:31

The only time I did it was on the way home from the hospital or if they’re not well.

FortunesFave · 05/08/2021 05:43

@Cupcakejamlover

Oh our baby loves the car, he falls asleep every time within minutes when we get an uber / get in a car with friends
One of mine HATED the car. She'd cry immediately. Never slept. I had to sit with her and I also get carsick in the back.
igoogledfunnyusernames · 05/08/2021 05:49

I had twins and a little car so had no choice but to sit in the front.
I think it is just personal preference,
Don't set a rod for your own back and see how they cope on their own.

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