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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to sit in the front seat?

106 replies

Cupcakejamlover · 05/08/2021 00:52

I have had a baby (4months old now) and we are just getting a car now. (Couldnt afford it sooner)

I was wondering why I see so many people where the mum or dad (whoever is the passenger) sits in the back with the baby. I generally get really dizzy in the back and I dont drive therefore me sitting in the back is the only option if one of us has to, but the question is, Does one of us really have to at this age? Or is that more in the newborn phase? Why do people do it if there is mirros that you could hang and i could turn around checking on baby? If it is necessary/ recommended, until what age?

OP posts:
boringcreation · 05/08/2021 05:58

I did with my first for a month or so because he had really bad reflux so I was afraid he would vomit and aspirate. It's up to you what you want to do, there's no right or wrong here.

ivykaty44 · 05/08/2021 06:06

I never sat in back as I was driving, it just wasn’t an option to have an adult in the back so it never happened.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 05/08/2021 06:16

My default position would be to sit in the front unless there was a need to sit in the back, because that's preferable (to me) long-term. By about 1 they learn not to chuck their toys/water/whatever onto the floor if they know they'll have to wait to get it back.

girlmom21 · 05/08/2021 06:18

I sat in the back on the way home from the hospital because the baby seat was so big I wouldn't have been able to sit comfortably in the front seat as the chair needed to be pushed all the way forwards.

We used my car after that!

ThorsLeftNut · 05/08/2021 06:19

I never have.
As a travel sick passenger you’re asking for a disaster wedging me between two car seats.

IonaLeg · 05/08/2021 06:20

You don’t have to! I often do because otherwise my baby is distraught, but if yours is fine in the car you absolutely don’t need to.

Kinsters · 05/08/2021 06:20

I sit in the front unless DD is upset in which case I'll go sit in the back with her to comfort/entertain her.

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 05/08/2021 06:21

We don't have a car. In other people's cars it was the only seat available. I'd have sat in the front.

SquigglePigs · 05/08/2021 06:22

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Only time I did this was on DC1's journey home from hospital after she was born. I then invested in a mirror for her to look on that hooks onto the headrest of the seat the car seat is in. Brilliant invention, very handy for seeing if she had nodded off to sleep yet or not
Same here. The only other times recently anyone sits in the back with the now 2 yr old is when we've had to go to a drive through test centre with her because it's so much easier with one person sat next to her. If your baby is happy in the car there's is no need to be say next to them unless you specifically want to.
OddestSock · 05/08/2021 06:27

My youngest hated being in the car and would scream the entire journey (kid has stamina!) unless i was in the back breastfeeding her. We didn't do a lot of car journeys for that reason, but better that than her screaming and distracting my husband driving

notyourmummy · 05/08/2021 06:29

Do whatever suits you, and your family. I sit in the back with my 4yo when I'm a passenger because my 10yo is sick if he sits in the back. As with all parenting decisions people do what works for them!

clickychicky · 05/08/2021 06:35

You do you

Starjammer · 05/08/2021 06:39

I do this on longer journeys as it's a lot easier to entertain a toddler and pass drinks, etc. It means we generally don't have to stop when we are driving 3 hours to see my parents.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 05/08/2021 06:42

My younger DD goes through phases of travel sickness. Sitting in the back on some journeys is better than constantly cleaning the car.

Cosybelles · 05/08/2021 06:45

YANBU! I have no idea why people do this Hmm

newnortherner111 · 05/08/2021 06:52

If you feel uncomfortable in the back seat, is it worth waiting a while for a car until the baby is a bit older, when you'd be happier being in the front with your baby in the back?

Everydayimhuffling · 05/08/2021 07:04

Wow, so many judgemental "rod for your own back" people. Some babies love the car and sleep, and some scream incessantly and are a bit better if there's someone with them.

Threewheeler1 · 05/08/2021 07:05

I did it with my screamers.
Got sick of trying to stretch my arm and neck round to sort out issues every 10 seconds. Only when they were tiddly though and on long journeys (i.e. anything over 1 minute)...

Roselilly36 · 05/08/2021 07:05

I used to sit in the front baby at the back, unless we were going to be on the motorway at 5pm ish when DS would usually have a scream up. Nothing worse that being at the front of the car when you can’t get to your baby that’s upset. We used to travel a lot with DH when DS was small.

MsSquiz · 05/08/2021 07:06

My DD is 19 months and I only occasionally sit in the back with her. It only happens if she's in a twisty mood, if toys/distractions are likely to be dropped by her as a tantrum will ensue! Or if she's snacking, rather than just handing her a bag of snacks I pass them to her because she's likely to inhale the whole back in 0.3 seconds or drop them!

It didn't really start until she was around 9/10 months old. And I have been known to start a journey in the front and end up in the back, while DH drives so her screaming or crying can be distracted by me and not a distraction to DH

Youarestillintherunning · 05/08/2021 07:11

Whatever works for you and your baby. My daughter is 10 months, I sit in the back with her so that I can feed her if she's hungry, keep her company and play with her, make sure the sun's not in her eyes or whatever. But that's because she gets bored and annoyed during car journeys. If your little one is happy alone in the back then there's no reason you can't sit in the front. Different things work for different babjes, and I feel that applies to most small choices like this! 😊

clickychicky · 05/08/2021 07:13

@Cosybelles

YANBU! I have no idea why people do this Hmm
Because they want to. I had Postnatal Anxiety and found it very tricky to think of LO as being on her own in the back with me not able to reach her easily.
ForeverInADay · 05/08/2021 07:25

I never did this.

Often it was just me in the car driving anyway!

Someone I met at NCT told me she still hadn't driven her own baby when he was 9 months old because despite being able to drive. She couldn't go anywhere unless her husband was there to drive and she was in the back seat!! So she spent her whole maternity leave limited to taking buses and trains. They were still conducting this ridiculous charade when the 'baby' was 3! This was a previously independent woman who practiced as a lawyer! Blush

Muma1992 · 05/08/2021 07:28

I like my baby. I like hanging out with her, so I'll sit with her. What am I getting from the front seat that is so much better than the back? Just curious, seeing as everyone looks to prefer it Hmm

woodfort · 05/08/2021 07:30

Because both of mine hated the car, screamed, cried, threw up etc every car ride.

First child I moved to the front from 18 months and second child at 2 years. Both of them had mostly stopped throwing up so much in the car at that point.