Locked Parking Thread 3(!!!))

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

You guys need to stop filling the thread when nothing is happening!!

In the meantime I had the most amazing nights sleep last night. Absolutely full of food and had an amazing day and frankly this morning I couldn't care if he's there for 6 months

It is 1am in Perth Australia and I am in bed checking for updates. I am way too invested in this :D

@Emilyontmoor

OP the only way to get past male entitlement is to make them feel like a little boy. So I would be rehearsing my best Headmistress impression.

So you said you were going to be how long?

And how long were you?

Why do you think I locked the gate?

No I have better things to do. The gate is locked because it is required by both my insurance and the forestry commission.

Do you realise what problems you could have caused for the Emergency Services and Forest Rangers?

No?

Then I will explain

I am very disappointed you did not have more thought for others

I will open the gate when you apologise and promise never to do it again.

And if I ever see you in my office, I mean drive again, you will not get off so lightly

Yes.

It's a shame the DB made out the OP was flaky and the unreliable one - I get what he was trying to do but CF will still think himself hard done by.

A nice headmistress dressing down would have been delightful.

@Emilyontmoor

OP the only way to get past male entitlement is to make them feel like a little boy. So I would be rehearsing my best Headmistress impression.

So you said you were going to be how long?

And how long were you?

Why do you think I locked the gate?

No I have better things to do. The gate is locked because it is required by both my insurance and the forestry commission.

Do you realise what problems you could have caused for the Emergency Services and Forest Rangers?

No?

Then I will explain

I am very disappointed you did not have more thought for others

I will open the gate when you apologise and promise never to do it again.

And if I ever see you in my office, I mean drive again, you will not get off so lightly

No, too many words. Silence works better. Most people can’t cope with silence and they babble and sound stupid, which will really rile him up when he gets back and realised what a dick he has sounded.

He really is an arrogant arse isn't he?!

Your brother is a legend. I honestly wouldn’t be in tonight (you made other arrangements plans since he didn’t reply) and make him call tomorrow at 6am otherwise he won’t get his car back for x weeks as you’re off on holiday.

This is INCREDIBLE. DB is a fucking LEGEND!

Loving the latest updates. Best thread ever!!

I assume he will arrive at some time other than 7.30. That being the case do remember to take your sweet old time getting the keys to unlock the gate.

While wandering over to unlock the gate in a conversational style tell him that FC have right of way over the track and that if they need to get through in a hurry they simply barge vehicles out of the way. It's happened before. You could throw in a tinkly laugh for good measure.

I’m cancelling packing for glamping in the pissing rain tomorrow to see what happens after 7.30 for this

😂 live your brother met it has made his weekend too!

I feel sure that it was him and his pals rolling up last night to cut the lock and drive off.

When (If) he returns at 7.30, DB needs to suggest he waits for you to return home, whenever that may be, as the FC have said they will tow the car away in the morning so he’d better wait to make sure his car isn’t taken away (Prays for heavy rain)

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Am betting he brings CelebX as his wingman hoping that his presence makes you all fluttering and gooey eyed so you drop your best MN head- on- one- side- eyebrow -raised -professional- persona

Even funnier when you deliberately don't recognise him, then! Get your DB to answer again and shout up to you "Car trespass man is back again, with his boyfriend!" CF won't know where to look or what to say

Agree keeping silent is a good tactic. I've used it to great effect when someone had to apologise to me.
Just look at him and say, "Well?" And wait. And when he stops talking, say nothing. He'll break the silence and dig himself in even deeper.

The 7.30 you meant was AM not PM!

Your DB is a star. I hope you ask him why the F he has left it so long later.

"Enemy vanquished."

Mischief managed (though not quite as CF will clearly be back, possibly with or without one of the Neville brothers).

Sadly (for us) if he does turn up at 7.30 I think the CF will have to be let out. Is there enough time for the Stuffed Animal Army to be ranged (!) up alongside the track in Tartans and woad, beside DB (of course played by David Tennant in the Boxset of this). For DB to scream "FREEEEEEDDDOOOOMMMM!" as CF drives away?

@Heffapotamus

Would love it if the OP could deliver a coup de gras when she finally unlocks the gate -

"By the way the story of your wanky parking has been shared online across the world. Right now, there are hundreds of women laughing at you"

You must do this.

Please @BlueEyesWhiteDragon 🙏

OP this needs to be made into a film

It’s the Euros final...the anticipation!

Can you get your CCTV to steam live???

When do doors open ?
Is there a bar?
Can I pre-book my seat or is it standing room only?

I didn't think this thread could get any better.....AND THEN IT DID!

Yes - silence so he has to speak and explain himself!

The cheeky fuckery is off the richter scale!! Hope DB doesn't cave!
Excellent thread, OP I love you.and your DB!!!

Thousands, mate, just a few thousand...

Just look at him and say, "Well?"

Oh yes.