Partner didn't notice my hair

[Savedbythegym]

Aibu ? Partner of 11 years didn't notice my hair cut until days later, it wasn't just a trim we are taking from down my back to shoulder length quite a huge difference, he didn't even say sorry he just said your hair looks nice, am I being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed/ upset ? Fwiw I've never had my hair this short before

Surely after 11 years you know whether it's the kind of thing he's likely to notice, but YANBU to be upset that he didn't tell you you looked nice sooner.

Was it a completely different style or just shorter?

I'd be a bit for sure. Even more than a little bit. Does he walk around with a bag over his head. FFS. I'm guessing he has form for this, though.

Do you think he actually didn't notice it or could it be that he chose not to comment on it earlier, OP?

My mum always makes a joke of "let's see how long it takes dad to notice my hair" and it's always a few days.

🤷 It's not really a big imo

No he's always been really nice about things in the past, I've had the impression he's not that into me recently, it was a completely different cut very different to what I'd normally have, much much shorter, I'd also had my eyebrows done too which went unnoticed, I looked completely different and made a point of having my front and back to him and played with my hair the lot xx

Dump him - red flag.

@Toottooot what do you mean ? Red flag always sounds worrying to me xx

@Toottooot

Dump him - red flag.

You'd dump your partner of 11 years because he didn't notice your hair ? That's a bit of a drastic jump.

I'd be miffed yes .

This is why I always write on our shared calendar when I'm having my haircut. DH would definitely not notice otherwise.

It's a hair cut that you can't really miss to be fair xx

@Toottooot

Dump him - red flag.

Yes. 11 years down the drain because someone didn't comment on new haircut.

My friend changes colour often and once i sat infront of her for 3 hours thinking something is "wrong". Took me 2 days to realise what.

It's much simplee if people just say "what do you think?" If they want a compliment😁 I do

@Toottooot

Dump him - red flag.

Well that’s high maintenance. You’d end an eleven year relationship if they didn’t notice your hair cut 😂

Maybe as you didn't mention it he kept quiet incase you didn't like it. Why didn't you just say 'had my hair done today, what do you think?'. Couldn't get worked up about not noticing the eyebrows.

@tired17

This is why I always write on our shared calendar when I'm having my haircut. DH would definitely not notice otherwise.

Mine doesn't even look at the bloody calendar

I'd be concerned that something is stressing him out to point of being oblivious

I don't notice things like that
Might be a while before I notice if one of my sisters has their hair cut or died. Sometimes I feel something is different but can't work out what it is.

Never notice if my husband has his hair cut.

Don't think it's worth leaving him for not saying anything!

I wouldn't expect him to notice the eyebrows so I wouldn't hold that against him.

Maybe he isn't sure of the new look? When I got a drastic haircut ( it was actually a disaster but that's another story) my DH opened the door and the first thing he said was "How do you feel about it?"
I knew then he hated it!

You said you get the feeling that he's no longer into you. Why do you think this ?

@Savedbythegym

No he's always been really nice about things in the past, I've had the impression he's not that into me recently, it was a completely different cut very different to what I'd normally have, much much shorter, I'd also had my eyebrows done too which went unnoticed, I looked completely different and made a point of having my front and back to him and played with my hair the lot xx

I'm asking this very gently - are you doing the pick me dance?

I think op's situation is quite different from just getting a haircut/trim. She got a drastically different style and he didn't even notice. Really? I'd b wondering if his brain is plugged in or if he's deliberately ignoring her.

If he is so shockingly unobservant, that alone would be a deal breaker for me. I couldn't be with anyone that clueless.

I just do not notice things about people’s appearance at all. This could very easily have been me. My DH would laugh as he knows what I’m like. For me it’s a combination of shortsightedness and lack of visual memory and a degree of face blindness. But if you partner usually notices, then yes something is amiss. I don’t think it is possible for others to judge.

Might be a while before I notice if one of my sisters has their hair cut or died.

Now that would be concerning!

Might be a while before I notice if one of my sisters has their hair cut or died.

God, at first I read that as something completely different

@Savedbythegym, I'd be a bit pissed off but I'd ask him about it, honestly. You need to talk, I think. Is he open to talking, generally? You seem to sense that something is 'up'.

My daughter had a similar hair cut and I didn't notice at all. She eventually fold me after a week. I live with her too.

Some people just don't notice these kinds of things. In my defence I do have aphantasia.