Partner didn't notice my hair

[Savedbythegym]

Aibu ? Partner of 11 years didn't notice my hair cut until days later, it wasn't just a trim we are taking from down my back to shoulder length quite a huge difference, he didn't even say sorry he just said your hair looks nice, am I being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed/ upset ? Fwiw I've never had my hair this short before

I once didn't notice that DH had shaved his massive beard off to totally clean shaven for several hours, had kissed him when I came home, sat opposite him for a meal, sitting next to him on sofa, only actually realised because I was checking Twitter later and he mentioned he had done it

@Toottooot 🤣

When I get back from the hairdressers my OH generally says something.

Most often it’s “oh, it was shut?”

Oh, the hilarity.

I preferred it when he didn’t notice! And, yes, it seems frankly incredible what some blokes can not notice even when it’s literally right in front of them!

11 years, and you're twiddling with your hair and doing a pirouette in front of him to see if he notices?
Sounds childish behaviour for an 11 year old TBH.
Ever thought of saying "I had my hair cut today, do you like it?"

My DH is spectacularly unobservant...I’ve had drastic cuts and fringes cut in etc, and he generally doesn’t notice unless it’s a completely different colour. For me it’s not LTB territory.

@Orf1abc

Might be a while before I notice if one of my sisters has their hair cut or died.

Now that would be concerning!

I am properly guffawing. Dh otoh po faced. Maybe you need to see it written down.

Erm. People don't notice anything half the time. I shaved my head and people didn't notice. Swapped glasses for contacts - no comments. He could just be oblivious.

Also - he said 'your hair looks nice'. What more do you want really? If you think it's a sign of him losing interest in you, then you'll have to have an actual conversation with him. Walking up and down and showing him the front and back view of yourself then monitoring his response is not really going to lead to clarity.

Wouldn't bother me. If anything I might be pleased that he wasn't just focussed on what I looked like. Maybe the bigger issue is that you said you think he's losing interest for some reason?

My DH only notices if I dye my hair lilac. Haircuts pass him by completely. He also believes you can have a half head highlights, cut and blow dry for 20€ lol. Which suits me fine. He's as tight as a duck's behind and would faint at the real price even though we can easily afford it. "Render that what is Caesar's unto Caesar....." has served me well!

Defo losing interest I think, as soon as dc gone to bed if footballs not on or he's not at football he'll be extremely tired and go to bed, if I suggest going out just him and I and get a baby sitter he has excuses but will happily have dc baby sat if he's going to football and Im at work etc

I once went from blonde to brunette (it was a massive difference, not just a couple of shades) and my ExH didn't notice till I pointed it out a couple of hours later. I took the piss for a bit then forgot about it.

Bit of a crazy suggestion, but could you have possibly spoken to him with words? Rather than having your back to him/playing with your hair, you could have said ‘I’ve had my hair done, what do you think?’

I get it. My ex in bed, he plucked a red hair off the sheet, thrust it into my face, hissing, 'what's this!? Who's is it!?' I had to point out I had my hair cut and dyed 2 weeks before. He genuinely had to actually look at me to see it.
Knob.

I've got a terrible visual memory and hardly ever notice things like this. I usually notice if someone is looking different or nice and I pay a compliment but I just don't notice details.

It's a bit silly playing with your hair and being passive aggressive. Just ask if he likes your new hair.

I genuinely don't care if people notice that I've had my hair done. Maybe I'm odd.

DH is shite at noticing these things, he took a couple of days to notice when I did the same thing

He's just not observant about that sort of thing. He does notice new outfits though, and compliments me often.

Some people are just really unobservant though, my dm is like that I once dyed my hair purple and she didn't notice til I pointed it out to her! Also dh shaved his beard recently, sat with him for a whole hour before I noticed it. 😂

@Savedbythegym
Have you really not got anything better to worry about?
Blokes aren't interested in hair and eyebrows really
But if you feel there is an underlying issue then you need to deal with it

I think I could dye my hair green and have it chopped into a short spikey style and he’d still just ask whether it was a new dress.

@Savedbythegym

Aibu ? Partner of 11 years didn't notice my hair cut until days later, it wasn't just a trim we are taking from down my back to shoulder length quite a huge difference, he didn't even say sorry he just said your hair looks nice, am I being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed/ upset ? Fwiw I've never had my hair this short before

I went from brunette to blonde, took other half 3 Weeks to notice lol

@Toottooot

Dump him - red flag.

How's it a red flag, god some people jump the 'red flag' when there's no red flag or any other red flag to be seen

He doesn't like it but didn't know what to say ???

After you've been with someone long enough you just see the person. Hair's just hair.

OP my husband sometimes shaves off his (admittedly short and greying) beard and I don't always notice. If he got upset because I hadn't noticed, Id be gutted but also a bit pissed off with him for being so touchy about something unimportant (unless hed recently been telling me his state of shavenness was important to him for some reason)

We genuinely don't see much of what's in front of us, our brain fills in a lot of the picture from what we expect. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

Frim your later post yes you might have some issues in your relationship. But getting annoyed with him about the hair thing is a red herring.