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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel this crushed

88 replies

handholdplease2222 · 21/03/2021 00:01

About 3 weeks ago I started speaking to this guy who lives in London, we hit it off and the connection (even just through FaceTime initially) was amazing.

He decided to drive all the way to Cornwall and rent an Airbnb for a week to 'see me' whilst also working.

He arrived last Friday and was busy seeing 'friends' until he eventually met me on Tuesday night. We then met again on Wednesday night, this time I went back to the AirBnB he was staying in. Another amazing night and we connected on more than an emotional level... ugh

Since then, he hasn't been responding to my calls due to being "knee deep in work" or "on a work conference" (until midnight on one night).

I then, after a bit of digging, found that a girl had left a review for the AirBnB commenting on how amazing their stay had been last week. He was there with a girl the whole time :'(

Fuck knows where she was when he met me Tuesday and Wednesday but I genuinely feel crushed. The lies. The false hope. It's just too much right now and I can't stop crying.

I know it was only 3 weeks but that was speaking everyday, getting on so well etc and then equally having an amazing connection in person. It felt so genuine.

OP posts:
prawntoastie · 21/03/2021 00:17

feel more sorry for this girl. He is a trash human being.

I went on holiday with an ex to NY and whilst I was in the hotel sleeping he was shagging some girl, he even took the receptionist number lol he of course turned out to be trash.
You're upset because he conned you, but it happens to the best of us. Just learn from it.

Ohyesiam · 21/03/2021 00:17

No lockdown in Cornwall huh? Wink

I have found, after years of fucking it up, that the best way to avoid getting stung is to go reeeeeally slowly.

We are so driven to get our emotional needs met that we are blinded to subtle clues that it might not be all we hope for. So it’s like driving your car through a tricky space, if you put your foot down you will have a prang, but take it slowly and you’re on with a chance of keeping your paint work intactGrin.
Sorry you were lied to , it’s rubbish isn’t it?

iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto · 21/03/2021 00:23

Urgh. Fuck that piece of shit. Message him telling him what a complete piece of mouldy cocksack he is any bin his sorry ass. When you feel like crying just remember he's a twat that doesn't deserve the best of you.

DianaT1969 · 21/03/2021 00:24

Out of curiosity, what were the settings on your dating app to start talking to someone in London? What's the point of trying to date someone 6 hours away?

PegasusReturns · 21/03/2021 00:25

What a piece of trash.

I know it’s hard but be grateful you’re not the girl involved.

Sparklesocks · 21/03/2021 00:26

Are you 100% sure she was there at the same time? Sometimes people only find time to leave Airbnb reviews a few weeks after their stay - and of course you’re only meant to be staying in them for necessary reasons at the moment so it might have been an unrelated person on a separate work trip.

It hurts but unfortunately you aren’t the first or the last person something this has happened to. Although I’m curious where you went on Tuesday/before the Airbnb on Weds with everything shut? Sometimes it’s a clue if you don’t go on a ‘proper’ date that sex is at their forefront of their intentions (although I appreciate its easy to get swept up if they’re charming and saying everything right!).

But try not to dwell. Allow yourself to wallow for a bit and then look ahead to the future. In a way it’s good you found out who he really is 3 weeks in rather than investing more time and feeling.

Cam2020 · 21/03/2021 00:28

At least you found out now, you could have been that girlfriend...

Rhubarbcrumblerules · 21/03/2021 00:29

I sometimes wonder if I'm living in some kind of parallel lockdown universe where travel out of the local area is still currently banned

Iflyaway · 21/03/2021 00:30

So sorry you went through this. Men can be such shits sometimes.

Please go for an STI test. (Some don't show up for 3 months though, but they'll tell you all that).

ClearMountain · 21/03/2021 01:00

I had an amazing connection on holiday with a guy who messaged me constantly and asked me to visit him in his home city a couple of months later... but we couldn’t have any privacy in his flat share so he booked a hotel. It turned out that his flat mate was his wife. He stayed over every night so fuck knows what he told her when he didn’t come home from work for three days!

This isn’t the first time this has happened to me. One time I dated a guy for a few weeks, he waited till our first time having sex and while he was on top of me he announced he was engaged and wouldn’t be leaving her. People can be dicks sometimes, don’t take it personally.

clpsmum · 21/03/2021 01:27

@Rhubarbcrumblerules I'm in that universe with you! Since when did conning a stranger hours away become an essential journey!

Talking about the arsehole you connected with OP not you! He is a total scumbag and you are better off without him. Thank goodness you found out this soon. You could have been that girlfriend. It hurts but you will get there, sending hugs

therocinante · 21/03/2021 01:36

@Rhubarbcrumblerules

I sometimes wonder if I'm living in some kind of parallel lockdown universe where travel out of the local area is still currently banned
Insane isn't it? Haven't gone more than a mile from my house (Tesco/for a run) since December... I know people are bending the rules slightly in some ways but this is Uri Geller levels.

OP, he's a prick. You found out sooner rather than later, class it as a lucky escape and get an STI test.

willibald · 21/03/2021 09:59

That sucks. Also had someone do similar. We were in Chamonix and turns out he'd invited his ex to stay nearby.

Block him.

And yy, go very slowly next time.

Griselda1 · 21/03/2021 11:37

As a previous poster said take an sti test and move on. If you wanted to be really nasty you could trace his lady friend through the review and let her know the piece of filth she's with.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 21/03/2021 11:44

Did that review specifically say when she stayed there?

I'm sure I've left reviews for stuff months after buying it as I forgot to do it closer to the time I bought / got an email asking if I would review what I got.

Original poster
handholdplease2222 · 21/03/2021 14:37

Hey all,

So I confronted him this morning. Yep, he was staying with her. He absolutely went crazy at me, gas lighted me, and told me that I was fucking mental and that he can see who he wants to see?! It was honestly barbaric. He also said "I wouldn't be surprised if I saw you on the news for doing a school shooting" ... seriously.. what the fuck.

OP posts:
2020iscancelled · 21/03/2021 15:44

What a shitbag

Well you’ve said your piece and confronted him. Now block and delete him.
You don’t need this absolute trash bag taking up any more of your energy or time.

It’s shit, there are some really nasty people out there who just do whatever the fuck they want with no regard to anyone else. I’m sorry you’ve come into contact with one of these prize arseholes.

Be kind to yourself, have a cry and some comfort food.
But tomorrow draw a line, don’t take this negative experience forward. It’s completely down to him -
You’re not to blame for how insane some men are. You’ve lost a couple of days to him, don’t lose anymore time and energy

Easterbunnygettingready · 21/03/2021 15:46

Wtaf?
Have you not heard of Covid?

B33Fr33 · 21/03/2021 15:51

Can you respond to or add to the review? Seriously. Fuck it up for the piece of trash.

Alexandernevermind · 21/03/2021 15:54

Ohh, yes, you must respond to her review! Then obviously block the guy!

Hopdathelf · 21/03/2021 15:54

Can you respond to or add to the review?

That wouldn’t look unhinged at all...

Checkthemeaning · 21/03/2021 15:57

It's so tedious that people keep bringing Covid into threads that are NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Go spout it on one of the million threads.

You've dodged a huge bullet with him. Thank your lucky stars.

Alreadyinmypyjamas · 21/03/2021 15:57

Block him now.

And save casual flings for after lockdown.

islockdownoveryet · 21/03/2021 16:32

@handholdplease2222

Hey all,

So I confronted him this morning. Yep, he was staying with her. He absolutely went crazy at me, gas lighted me, and told me that I was fucking mental and that he can see who he wants to see?! It was honestly barbaric. He also said "I wouldn't be surprised if I saw you on the news for doing a school shooting" ... seriously.. what the fuck.

He sounds a delight, just tell yourself you found out early, this girl on the other hand . It hurts but by the end of the week you’ll be who ?
islockdownoveryet · 21/03/2021 16:33

@Easterbunnygettingready

Wtaf? Have you not heard of Covid?
Fair comment tbh
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