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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel this crushed

88 replies

handholdplease2222 · 21/03/2021 00:01

About 3 weeks ago I started speaking to this guy who lives in London, we hit it off and the connection (even just through FaceTime initially) was amazing.

He decided to drive all the way to Cornwall and rent an Airbnb for a week to 'see me' whilst also working.

He arrived last Friday and was busy seeing 'friends' until he eventually met me on Tuesday night. We then met again on Wednesday night, this time I went back to the AirBnB he was staying in. Another amazing night and we connected on more than an emotional level... ugh

Since then, he hasn't been responding to my calls due to being "knee deep in work" or "on a work conference" (until midnight on one night).

I then, after a bit of digging, found that a girl had left a review for the AirBnB commenting on how amazing their stay had been last week. He was there with a girl the whole time :'(

Fuck knows where she was when he met me Tuesday and Wednesday but I genuinely feel crushed. The lies. The false hope. It's just too much right now and I can't stop crying.

I know it was only 3 weeks but that was speaking everyday, getting on so well etc and then equally having an amazing connection in person. It felt so genuine.

OP posts:
islockdownoveryet · 21/03/2021 16:35

@Checkthemeaning

It's so tedious that people keep bringing Covid into threads that are NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Go spout it on one of the million threads.

You've dodged a huge bullet with him. Thank your lucky stars.

But we are in the middle of this pandemic, I get we all have needs but ffs driving miles to meet someone when most of us aren’t going further than the local park .
thebestnamehere · 21/03/2021 16:41

@handholdplease2222

About 3 weeks ago I started speaking to this guy who lives in London, we hit it off and the connection (even just through FaceTime initially) was amazing.

He decided to drive all the way to Cornwall and rent an Airbnb for a week to 'see me' whilst also working.

He arrived last Friday and was busy seeing 'friends' until he eventually met me on Tuesday night. We then met again on Wednesday night, this time I went back to the AirBnB he was staying in. Another amazing night and we connected on more than an emotional level... ugh

Since then, he hasn't been responding to my calls due to being "knee deep in work" or "on a work conference" (until midnight on one night).

I then, after a bit of digging, found that a girl had left a review for the AirBnB commenting on how amazing their stay had been last week. He was there with a girl the whole time :'(

Fuck knows where she was when he met me Tuesday and Wednesday but I genuinely feel crushed. The lies. The false hope. It's just too much right now and I can't stop crying.

I know it was only 3 weeks but that was speaking everyday, getting on so well etc and then equally having an amazing connection in person. It felt so genuine.

God you poor thing. What a fucking creep 😡 I'm angry on your behalf I would be tempted to add another review or question to the girl who left a review for the Airbnb. Drop him right in it
Checkthemeaning · 21/03/2021 16:51

@islockdownoveryet Try being single and living on your own like me & possibly the OP. It takes its toll on your mental health like you wouldn't believe.

Not EVERYTHING is about Covid.

Mamamamasaurus · 21/03/2021 16:52

OP did you miss the global pandemic...!!??

RunningFromInsanity · 21/03/2021 17:02

[quote Checkthemeaning]@islockdownoveryet Try being single and living on your own like me & possibly the OP. It takes its toll on your mental health like you wouldn't believe.

Not EVERYTHING is about Covid. [/quote]
I am single and living alone.

Fucking a stranger on holiday does not improve your MH.

TillyTopper · 21/03/2021 17:13

I hope you've completely blocked him on everything. What a lucky escape for you, but his poor GF.

Lipz · 21/03/2021 17:17

Well if it was me I would also leave a review for that place ensuring to put in the dates you were there, stating that you and your 'new boyfriend had a fantastic time', I'd say it was romantic and wonderful and you were delighted that he found such a fabulous place. She'll see it because everyone looks back to read the review they left.

gottenhaitch · 21/03/2021 17:20

"I sometimes wonder if I'm living in some kind of parallel lockdown universe where travel out of the local area is still currently banned"

It's almost like this never happened.

handholdplease2222 · 21/03/2021 17:21

Some good ideas regarding the review. Although he told me he would ring the police if I contacted anyone in his circle - I'm guessing he shit himself when I found out. I actually found her Facebook and insta, but I was too scared to message her. The messages he was sending me were quite threatening. He also said to me "don't forget, I know where you live" which actually made me shake with fear/anger. The injustice of it I just can't process. He is ex army and is clearly completely unhinged. Wish I never met him...

OP posts:
RunningFromInsanity · 21/03/2021 17:23

@gottenhaitch

"I sometimes wonder if I'm living in some kind of parallel lockdown universe where travel out of the local area is still currently banned"

It's almost like this never happened.

This...
CodMouth · 21/03/2021 17:30

Agree with people about covid.

I have to say though, yeah you dodged a bullet but you were speaking for three weeks with no discussion of exclusivity. Don’t set yourself up for hurt so early on.

MrsMoastyToasty · 21/03/2021 17:37

Part of me says chalk it up to experience. Part of me says message him in a few days saying " I think you need to be tested for STIs and so do your recent partner " then block.

GreenlandTheMovie · 21/03/2021 17:40

Wow. He basically conned you into sex, because if he had told you the truth, you wouldn't have done.

tbh if anyone should be going to the police, its you, for that "I know where you live threat". Did he do it in writing eg text?

I'd be really tempted to leave a review on Trip Advisor OR go to the police and not just let him get off with it scot free.

Did you take any photos for your Trip Advisor review? Wink

Serious tip. Always take photos and keep texts when meeting up with someone new.

AntiHop · 21/03/2021 17:42

Oh no. What a fuckinb arsehole. Make sure you screenshot the measages.

I had a similar experience when I was younger. Long distance, thought we had a real connection. We were making plans for a holiday so we could meet up. Turns out he had a girlfriend all along.

funnylittlefloozie · 21/03/2021 17:42

He sounds totally demented. Keep all the messages / screenshots. I don't react well to bullying or intimidation, so his "threats" would make me more inclined to leave a response to the review and probably tell his gf as well. Fuck him, the scummy little shite.

Aprilx · 21/03/2021 17:42

@Checkthemeaning

It's so tedious that people keep bringing Covid into threads that are NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Go spout it on one of the million threads.

You've dodged a huge bullet with him. Thank your lucky stars.

Kind of tedious that a year in, idiots like the OP still haven’t heard of it, or lockdown and keep flaunting the rules the majority of us are living by.

OP obviously needed a reminder, might as well put it on their thread whee they might see it as they haven’t seen anything else apparently.

hotpotlover · 21/03/2021 17:47

If he doesn't know where you live, I would completely drop him in and inform his girlfriend. Send her receipts on Instagram and tell her what a cheat her boyfriend is. Then block, block, block both of them.

CombatBarbie · 21/03/2021 17:50

I would absolutely tell the girlfriend.....

Pansypotter123 · 21/03/2021 17:50

Although he told me he would ring the police if I contacted anyone in his circle - I'm guessing he shit himself when I found out.

This alone would spur me on to message his girlfriend. Who does he think he is, and as if the police would really be bothered!!

MintLampShade · 21/03/2021 17:52

How did you find out that he was staying in the AirBnB with this girl by her leaving a review?? Did she name him or something? Also, isn't there lockdown?? Sorry, I just can't make sense of this...

LagunaBubbles · 21/03/2021 17:53

It's so tedious that people keep bringing Covid into threads that are NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Go spout it on one of the million threads

Of course Covid has something to do with it, as a Nurse your attitude sickens and saddens me.

JiggeryWokery · 21/03/2021 18:01

He's hardly going to contact the police is he - since you were both breaking the lockdown rules at the time Blush

Chloemol · 21/03/2021 18:02

No sympathy you should be in lockdown like the rest of us

Let’s hope he didn’t bring covid with him

ShirleyPhallus · 21/03/2021 18:04

That’s quite a lot to have happened in under 24 hours!

LAgeDeRaisin · 21/03/2021 18:07

I'd report to the police the threats he made eg "I know where you live". What an absolute creeper

I'd also tell the girlfriend- poor woman. It's not either of your fault and she deserves to know for her health (because he might be shagging loads of women and have megalevel supergonnorrhoea)

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