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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this a bit weird ?

91 replies

Flowers24 · 17/03/2021 16:42

I often chat to a guy in another department at work when we were office based, just a chat here and there, we linked up on Fb and chatted now and again on messenger. Now he is messaging me daily and even said he saw me come to the office the other day (I had to collect something, didnt know he was there) and said have I done my hair as i looked amazing.....next he is asking me to meet him early one morning so we can walk alone in a woodland area he knows and really enjoy each others company. I politely said that sounds nice and he said ' I want to go tomorrow now' so I made excuses.
He is married with kids too and what seemed a friendship with a work colleage now feels a bit weird. He wanted me to message him the other morning when he woke up as needs his fix of me.

Should I back away?

OP posts:

JorisBonson · 17/03/2021 16:43

Yes. Tell him to piss off.

Meowchickameowmeow · 17/03/2021 16:44

Yes you should back away, if he suggests anything else just say no outright, telling him that sounds nice is giving him ideas that you want things to go further.

justthecat · 17/03/2021 16:45

What Joris said

Original poster

Flowers24 · 17/03/2021 16:45

Its odd as was just a work type chat here and there and i dont even message my girl friends that much, we message each other now and then or every few days, he is messaging me loads, I have not opened yesterday or todays messages. He said me looking so good really lifts his spirits etc???

OP posts:

Finfintytint · 17/03/2021 16:46

He’s up for an affair.
Aside from that, meeting up in woodland with someone you barely know is too risky.

Original poster

Flowers24 · 17/03/2021 16:46

@Meowchickameowmeow

Yes you should back away, if he suggests anything else just say no outright, telling him that sounds nice is giving him ideas that you want things to go further.

Gosh I hope i have not led him on, i was being polite but need to be firm dont I.

OP posts:

Pancake4life · 17/03/2021 16:47

sounds like he thinks you accepting him on fb means you're more than workmates. Delete and say you are removing work people from.fb as you want to keep private life separate

user1493494961 · 17/03/2021 16:48

Why did you tell him the walk sounded nice, just block him.

legalseagull · 17/03/2021 16:48

You should have shut it down. He's a creep but youve not helped by telling him a secluded walk sounds 'nice'. He'll think feelings are mutual.

Original poster

Flowers24 · 17/03/2021 16:48

@Finfintytint

He’s up for an affair. Aside from that, meeting up in woodland with someone you barely know is too risky.

Yeah I thought that, i mean i have worked at the same company as him for about 7 years, we only got chatting now and then the past 3, but literally hi , how are you, brief chat about the kids as one of his is same age as mine and thats it. Since it went to messenger its gone all weird, he is even messaging me at midnight sometimes.

OP posts:

legalseagull · 17/03/2021 16:49

@Pancake4life

sounds like he thinks you accepting him on fb means you're more than workmates. Delete and say you are removing work people from.fb as you want to keep private life separate

Good advice

"Nothing personal, just keeping work and family life seperate"

Bluntness100 · 17/03/2021 16:49

Unless you’re thinking of getting involved with him op, which I’d strongly advise against, then you need to back right off.

dontgobaconmyheart · 17/03/2021 16:51

Yes OP, of course you should. Aside from him being married and out complimenting other women he eay he is, it's creepy and overstepping. Whilst this is his issue and his strange behaviour you absolutely need to find and establish boundaries yourself when you're uncomfortable. There isn't any sense in actively saying it sounds nice to go for a walk with him if you think the opposite.

If he asks again I would state clearly that you're not interested or comfortable with socialising outside of work and leave it at that. You don't need to justify it. Restrict or block him on social media too if you like, he doesn't have the right to be there if you don't want him to be, regardless of whether you didn't mind at the time.

lockdownalli · 17/03/2021 16:52

Block him.

Fedupmiddleagedwoman · 17/03/2021 16:54

My best advice is to stay as far away from him as possible

Original poster

Flowers24 · 17/03/2021 16:54

Thanks, to be honest at first all seemed just like mates, as women can be mates with men right? So the walk was suggested early on and i thought nothing of it, just 2 friends going for a walk, but when he said about my hair and i looked amazing etc etc it started to feel weird, he must have been watching me from the window at work when i popped in,....

OP posts:

Original poster

Flowers24 · 17/03/2021 16:58

He also says he is unhappy in the job he's in and seeing me and messaging me keeps him going etc, I think , what about your wife? I seriously hope i have not made him think i am interested that way, for years i enjoyed a chat with him now and then at work and that's all.

Oh god