Someone has left their dildo on my garden wall!!!!

[LindtLover19]

So I went out for a walk today and as I returned, I noticed a pink plastic object on my front garden wall! It turned out to be a mahoosive pink phallus!!! It’s a rather quiet street so I’m shocked that someone would leave it on my wall. What do I do? Do I throw it away - what if someone comes looking for it?? Completely shocked!!!

🤣🤣

That wasn't helpful I'm sorry but I genuinely laughed out loud. Dont touch it. I wouldn't!

I would bin it. I can’t imagine it fell out of the birds nest.

I’m sorry for the trauma you are going through at the moment.. but honestly best thread to ever be started!

Okay I clearly listen to way too many true crime podcasts but this strikes me as creepy more than funny

What if a weird guy has left it there. It's clearly not accidental

Don a pair of gloves, grab the thing and bin it immediately.

😂😂 Someone must have known where they'd left it. Can you keep it (in a bag of course), in case someone is missing it and comes back for it??

I think we need a diagram!

Photo or it didn't happen

Later

"Mummy I've lost your pink sword."
"What pink sword?"
"The one that was next to your bed with the hand sanitizer that smells like chocolate ice cream."

Especially if it wasn't there when you left but was when you went back :( Although I'm not sure from your post if that's the case

X-post worra

I'd get disposable gloves on and bag it and throw it in a litter bin nearby.

Wouldn't put it in my own bin!

Photo or it didn’t happen

I reckon someone's playing a prank. I'd don a thick pair of rubber gloves and bin it! Otherwise your neighbours might think you've left it outside after some alfresco frolicking🤣

What if a weird guy has left it there. It's clearly not accidental 🤣
If it wasn't a weird guy I could only think maybe teenagers found it somewhere and had a laugh throwing it around the street. Either that or your nice quiet neighbours on your nice quiet street are dirty bastards and had an outdoor moment

In the bin without handling it.

😂😂😂😂 brilliant! You’ve cheered up my boring Sunday shift Op!

Put it in your bottom drawer just in case. You never know how long we could be under restrictions...

🤣 And I thought I had problems when someone chucked a lighter over my wall!

Is it 100% a dildo?! Only asking as I saw some pink handle things you put on kid's handlebars (especially of scooters) and they look JUST like the aforementioned item...seriously!

Yes if I move it I will definitely avoid touching it!! 🤮🤮

Oh. My. God.

I have just taken delivery of a Ring Camera from Amazon. So at least if this every happens to me, I might be a le to find out what left it there.

Settling down now for what's sure to be a hilarious set of responses.

@frenchfancy81Yes definitely a dildo!! Handlebar reminds me of an episode of motherland!!! But yes it is definitely a phallus 🤮🤮

LTB