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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Someone has left their dildo on my garden wall!!!!

89 replies

LindtLover19 · 18/10/2020 16:36

So I went out for a walk today and as I returned, I noticed a pink plastic object on my front garden wall! It turned out to be a mahoosive pink phallus!!! It’s a rather quiet street so I’m shocked that someone would leave it on my wall. What do I do? Do I throw it away - what if someone comes looking for it?? Completely shocked!!!

OP posts:
MainliningMarzipan · 18/10/2020 16:51

Police. Now.

Sunflowerlover20 · 18/10/2020 16:51

Imagine if someone has glued it to your wall for a joke...the neighbours are going to see you fighting with it🤣

BrumBoo · 18/10/2020 16:51

Pics or didn't happen Smile.

BrumBoo · 18/10/2020 16:53

Instantly running home, open a MN account and post about it is definitely the right move as well.

WhoUsedMyName · 18/10/2020 16:53

🤣🤣picture please

TheAugury · 18/10/2020 16:55

Bet its a dog toy there's loads of dog toy or dildo photo montages on FB

MissBridgetJones · 18/10/2020 16:55

@Sunflowerlover20

Imagine if someone has glued it to your wall for a joke...the neighbours are going to see you fighting with it🤣
Bahahahaha!
PurpleDaisies · 18/10/2020 16:57

What an incredible thing to happen.

flaviaritt · 18/10/2020 16:59

Thanks, OP. I knew I’d left it somewhere and it was either there or the top of my car.

GCAcademic · 18/10/2020 17:00

@PurpleDaisies

What an incredible thing to happen.
Literally.
Gazelda · 18/10/2020 17:00

Our village FB group is awash with posts of lost property. Generally saying they've left it on the gatepost, or at the cafe or in the police station.

I dare you ...

DeliciouslyFemale · 18/10/2020 17:04

@Sunflowerlover20

Imagine if someone has glued it to your wall for a joke...the neighbours are going to see you fighting with it🤣
Hahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣
MainliningMarzipan · 18/10/2020 17:06

Odds on there being a picture forthcoming? Anyone?

jackstini · 18/10/2020 17:07

You have to take a photo!
That really has made me laugh for too loudly!! Grin

CountFosco · 18/10/2020 17:08

Are you absolutelysure it's not a dog toy?

Ulpo · 18/10/2020 17:09

We need a photo.

CountFosco · 18/10/2020 17:09

@TheAugury great minds Grin

doingmeheadin · 18/10/2020 17:13

Quick dettol wipe and put it next to the bed for later? Grin

MissCadoganTate · 18/10/2020 17:16

I also think it's a silicone dog toy

dementedma · 18/10/2020 17:18

Dont put it in your bin. Put it in the neighbours bin!

Wasail · 18/10/2020 17:20

I came here for the photo

ToastyCrumpet · 18/10/2020 17:21

Hide it and see who comes looking.

PolarBearStrength · 18/10/2020 17:23

Probably just teenagers messing around. Can’t see why it’s sinister or police-worthy.

Mischance · 18/10/2020 17:24

Pop it in the dish washer and then find a use for it - I am sure you can think of something! Grin

LaChatte · 18/10/2020 17:24

You what now?

Also waiting for the photo.