Predatory driving instructor. Daughter wants refund. Help!

[friendlyflicka]

If anyone has experience of how to proceed with this I would be so grateful.

My just 17 year old daughter booked to go on an intensive driving course and paid more £1000 up front. As far as i knew we were booking through a driving school which seemed businesslike etc.

My daughter came back after the first day, visibly shaken. At 11 pm that night she asked if I or her boyfriend could go with her the next day. At 8 am - she was due to be picked up at 9 - she told me she couldn’t face going with him in the car. That he had been very ‘touchy’ and then she told me a string of very inappropriate comments he had made all sexual throughout the day.

I have no doubt that she is telling the truth. That is not my issue at all. And the emotional issue and toll on my daughter - can handle this as well: we are.

I contacted driving school and said that she would not be proceeding and then sent email detailing the instructor’s behaviour. The reply was that it was my daughter’s word against his and that he would speak to the driver the next day.

I rang the police for some advice because I didn’t know whether this was a civil matter. They were keen to press further, They said as a safeguarding issue they needed to speak to the driving school

The driving school absolutely absolved themselves of all responsibility for either the safeguarding or financial issues: the instructor was self employed: he had my daughter’s money.

I have made a complaint to DVSA about all issues. My daughter is upset but wants her money back. And just wants to start again: found a nice local instructor.

How do I go about things? I am dealing with the safeguarding through DVSA hopefully. But how do I recover her money. She was booked for 4 days: day 1, he allegedly assaulted her. Day 2, she cancelled after the 24 hour policy. Last 2 days she should be refunded whatever the results of any safeguarding enquiry.

Please tell me how to proceed. Purely in a financial sense to recover her money.

Congratulations!

I hope this hasn’t put your daughter off driving. And I hope she has learned from your example that this sort of behaviour needs to be called out wherever we see it.

Well done! I had a lovely driving instructor but three of my friends each with a different driving instructor were all sexually assaulted on a lesson. It was a long time ago (1980s) but it doesn’t seem like times have changed at all. It’s shocking how many people have had problems on this thread alone. I have just done what a lot of people have no doubt done after reading this thread; I Googled “sexual assault by driving instructors” and it is rife . Loads of articles and the Everyday Sexism Project confirming high numbers reporting the same experience as your daughter @friendlyflicka. Dreadful. I get the sense that the ADI registration through the DVSA is very lax (in terms of requirements to stay on the “register, despite considering them as having the same “safeguarding requirements” as teachers and a commitment in 2018 to deal with them more stringently.

I’ve followed this all the way through. I’m so pleased they found in your favour. I found it hard to believe they wouldn’t, but the law can be funny sometimes.

I’m so sorry your DD went through this, and it’s a vindication for her that the way they both behaved is wrong. As much as you can’t undo that it happened, she knows they were wrong and that you went to bat for her.

Rooting for you! Well done for not letting this drop, a real inspiration to your daughter that you need to stand up to this shit.

Ah my page got stuck 24 Jan and though that was the last update! So pleased you've had a successful outcome in terms of the courts.

You’ve done the right thing going to DVSA. They are lying to you, your contract is with them and they need to refund you even if they have to get cash back off the creep to do so. Saying that, she really must follow through with the police or he will be free to sexually harass more children, or worse.

Sorry didn’t rtft lol, well done!!

Wahoooo I have been following this thread.

Bloody disgusting behaviour from them and well done you!!!

V proud and impressed.

Name and shame to newspapers I’m sure they will sort out your daughters money

Well done for getting this far!

Taking legal action is, as you have found out, full of pitfalls technicalities and complications
But the fact is that they have had to deal with this and it will have been a thorn in their side and now they have “lost” and have to pay out money. No doubt their annoyance with this will affect the original culprit. So well done.

Very well done, OP. I'm really impressed by your persistence; you're a great role model.

I hope that your daughter has weathered it all well and can forget and move on. All the best to her.

Well done OP. You’re a great Mum. Good luck with your campaign.

I never realised my instructor was creepy until many many years later. I’m so glad you pursued this.

Brilliant freindlyflicker. Well done for pursuing it. You are totally awesome

Well done. What a super mum you are.

Congratulations, OP. Brilliant news.

Well done!

Go through the police, Mp and small claims court

Fabulous news OP.

@Porridgeoat RTFT

No need for rudeness dishing

RTFT is standard acronym on here - you new or something? Not reading even the OP’s posts is being rude.

When a thread has been going on for months, it's quite likely that things have developed beyond the first post. A condensed version can be found by using the option to show all of the OP's posts. In this thread the victim has already spoken to the police so it is on the record but she didn't wish to take it any further with them. The issue has also been logged with a regulating body and the OP has won a civil case on the matter and will be due some compensation.

@Porridgeoat - you can customise MN so all the OP’s posts on a thread are on a different coloured background (and all your posts too, if you want) which makes it easier to spot updates.

At the top of the page, click on the v in a circle next to the word Talk, and go to customise, then pick the colour background you want for your posts and all the OP posts.

She has to report this to the police. This person should not be in this job, the next young person may not come out unscathed.

This happened to me twice when I was 17, first one was a guy in his 50s this was made worse as he was a customer of my older brother who thought he was really nice . He would kiss me repeatedly on the cheek, ask where my pretty little skirts were and say disgusting things like take the knob, feel it throbbing etc !! He only got a way with it as I was young, shy and too embarrassed to tell my parents !! The second driving instructor took me down a quiet country lane and took a pee right in front of me . I wish I could go back in time now, I make a formal complaint again to the police this is disgusting and he shouldn’t get away with it !!