Predatory driving instructor. Daughter wants refund. Help!

[friendlyflicka]

If anyone has experience of how to proceed with this I would be so grateful.

My just 17 year old daughter booked to go on an intensive driving course and paid more £1000 up front. As far as i knew we were booking through a driving school which seemed businesslike etc.

My daughter came back after the first day, visibly shaken. At 11 pm that night she asked if I or her boyfriend could go with her the next day. At 8 am - she was due to be picked up at 9 - she told me she couldn’t face going with him in the car. That he had been very ‘touchy’ and then she told me a string of very inappropriate comments he had made all sexual throughout the day.

I have no doubt that she is telling the truth. That is not my issue at all. And the emotional issue and toll on my daughter - can handle this as well: we are.

I contacted driving school and said that she would not be proceeding and then sent email detailing the instructor’s behaviour. The reply was that it was my daughter’s word against his and that he would speak to the driver the next day.

I rang the police for some advice because I didn’t know whether this was a civil matter. They were keen to press further, They said as a safeguarding issue they needed to speak to the driving school

The driving school absolutely absolved themselves of all responsibility for either the safeguarding or financial issues: the instructor was self employed: he had my daughter’s money.

I have made a complaint to DVSA about all issues. My daughter is upset but wants her money back. And just wants to start again: found a nice local instructor.

How do I go about things? I am dealing with the safeguarding through DVSA hopefully. But how do I recover her money. She was booked for 4 days: day 1, he allegedly assaulted her. Day 2, she cancelled after the 24 hour policy. Last 2 days she should be refunded whatever the results of any safeguarding enquiry.

Please tell me how to proceed. Purely in a financial sense to recover her money.

The instructor is still named and photoed as being available to teach under the banner of the driving school

Even after the DVSA have found him culpable and he's been issued a warning?? They must be out of their minds

Good luck with the hearing, OP; from what you've said I can't see how they'll fail to find in your favour, though getting damages is another thing ... they'll probably close the company, namechange and simply start up again as something else

how utterly depressing hearing how many women had these encounters. I had a touchy male instructor at 17, I cancelled because it was so stressful. I didn't actually learn to drive until my 30's, with a female instructor.

I'm only using a female instructor when my DD's start to learn.

You're doing a great job in pursuing this OP.

@friendlyflicka would you mind Dming the name? My ds has one that I’m not too comfortable with.

Hope the hearing goes well. Absolutely appalling how many hoops you have to go through to get this resolved!

You are not based in the Cheshire area are you?
Exactly the same thing happened to my friends 17 year old daughter
😢

Sadly it happens all over and always has done.
Similar happened to me when I was the same age living in Cumbria nearly 40 years ago.
I remember him 'accidently' brushing along my breast and his face never changed so I felt I couldn't make a fuss as it was an ' accident'
I guess it was also an 'accident' when he put his hand on my thigh.
Fucking creep.

This is really shit, isn’t it

I too had a Pervy instructor when I learned back in the dark ages. I flattered myself that I could handle it. But now I look back and think why the fuck should I have had to. He allegedly ran off with a 17yo pupil in the end.

@mnhq. Is there an appetite for an awareness campaign here?

I had one too , i stuck with him because even though a pervy letch he was a good teacher , i was older than 17 and could handle him .
He also saw my 6ft 3 boyfriend a few times when picking me up !
The instructor my mother had when i was a young child reached over to me in the back and touched my thigh .
It seems the ideal profession for predatory creeps.

This happened to a friend years ago when we were teens :(

If I have the energy after this case has concluded, I think I will like to join some campaign for cameras to be essential in learner driver cars.

Great idea. I'd back you. I personally know a woman who had to actually leave the country because her driving instructor stalked her relentlessly.

see a solicitor and take him to a small claims court. do not write to him and threaten to allow the police to proceed unless he pays up, however tempting this is.

I am in awe of you OP - I just wanted to ask though, can you remind us why the police aren't prosecuting for assault?

A few people have asked about taking this to the MP - have you thought about where else you could take this case? A journalist maybe? Anyway, I am sure you have thought of all this but definitely a campaign for cameras inside driving instructors' cars would be amazing, I reckon lots of MNetters would back that.

@DishingOutDone

I am in awe of you OP - I just wanted to ask though, can you remind us why the police aren't prosecuting for assault?

A few people have asked about taking this to the MP - have you thought about where else you could take this case? A journalist maybe? Anyway, I am sure you have thought of all this but definitely a campaign for cameras inside driving instructors' cars would be amazing, I reckon lots of MNetters would back that.

Just RTFT.

Saying you’re in awe of someone rings a little hollow if you can’t even bothered to read what they’ve posted. You can highlight the OP’s posts in your settings or click on the “see all“ link on her first one (or any of them) if you’re finding it hard to parse the thread. Then you can read the multiple times she answered that question.

@friendlyflicka

My daughter didn't want to proceed with the police for the reason that it was her word against his and it wouldn't go anywhere. He didn't have a camera in his car.

so I contacted DVSA on Friday and apparently they respond within 10 days in 90% of cases.

The director of the driving school says the right things about safeguarding but if I suggest that he has any responsibility each financially or legally, he accuses me of threatening him. He was quite aggressive on the phone and is hard to deal with. He keeps turning the tables and saying that we are threatening him when I say I will go to DVSA. He has to have the last word in any email string.

So I have gone to the DVSA. Hopefully they will be of some help. But I just really want to know how to get back the money because he is pretty horrible to deal with. I presume he is quite strapped for cash after Covid, perhaps.

I want to use a cheap external mechanism. I think small claims court probably is the best.

Have a look on your home insurance as legal cover may be included. Its usually an optional extra but well worth having and isn't included as a claim if you need to use (well Tesco Home Insurance didn't last year when I used them).

The only problem is they will not pursue the matter without evidence or where they feel they have a 51% chance of succeeding in court. Its his word against hers unfortunately, unless you're able to find other young people who have experienced the same.

Personally I'd out the business and the instructor. Well done to your daughter for being brave enough to talk about it, despite how traumatic it is. She has 100% done the right thing.

I know its a lot of money, which I hope you recover, but remember money comes and goes. Your daughter doesn't have to face that horrible man again and you know she's safe.

You've got some amazing advice on here. I hope he gets struck off and you get your money back xx

Ugh, this happened to me when I was 18. I still remember the feeling of his flabby sweaty paw over mine on the gear stick and his hand on my thigh. Fucking creep - he was known for it too when I asked schoolfriends who was teaching them to drive when I went to change instructor.

OP the idea of cameras in cars is a great one, it would be brilliant if you have the energy to campaign for this.

Thanks, all of you. Been printing out all the evidence etc and organising it. Hate doing things like this.

After I have been through this, I will start trying to generate some publicity. the instructor could have had a camera in his car, but chose not to.

The instructor could have had a camera in his car, but chose not to

I'll bet
And unfortunately the same could happen even if it was required, as in "Sorry luv, it just broke but I can still take you ...", knowing perfectly well the learner's keen to get on and may well go with it

I think you’re doing brilliantly, OP.

If the court case does not secure your refund then I suspect one of the national newspaper consumer champions would be interested in your case. Maybe try Katie Morley in the Telegraph. Her readers will want to know about this for their own children and grandchildren. Her email is [email protected].

One call from a journalist like this and rogue operators very often discover the ability to make instant refunds....

Well done for pursuing this OP.

Your DD will learn a lot from your attitude to this arsehole’s harassing behaviour. We have to teach our kids it’s not acceptable and they don’t have to put up with it - and you’re doing just that. Good luck with the hearing.

I would call the local paper and make them aware that the case would be in small claims. They will hopefully write a piece, especially as the instructor was found to need a warning.

I remember reading this when you first posted it - good luck for the court case!

Not sure if it's relevant but when I used to work in child protection for the police we would make referrals to the LADO (local agency designated officer) whenever we had a complaint of an offence against a juvenile by a person in a position of trust ie a teacher or a carer etc. May be worth seeing what your council's equivalent of a LADO is and seeing if they're interested. I can't remember if anyone can refer to the LADO or if it's only police/professional agencies.

Small Claims online.

The contract was with the driving school.

The fact the instructor has the money is neither here nor there.

There’s an implied term of the contract that the service will be provided in a professional manner.

It wasn’t, therefore it’s breach of contract.

If the school contest the case (they probably won’t) you won’t need to hire an expensive lawyer. The case would take place sitting down in a Judges office.

The Judge would decide “on balance” whether your daughter was telling the truth. Given she wanted driving lessons and paid upfront why would she want to cancel other than being perved on.

You would probably win.

Even if you did lose, you can’t be hounded for thousands in costs- County Court stuff is all small fixed costs so worth a go.

Come to think of it, think my driving instructor fancied me but made sure never to show it. He was friendly enough and never said or did anything inappropriate but always seemed nervous and sweaty.

He always talked about his wife and kids as if to remind himself not to think inappropriate thoughts about me and always made an exaggerated effort not to touch me (eg standing about six feet back when opening the car door for me to get out.)

Looking back I feel a bit sorry for this tortured soul of about 40 who was clearly lusting after 17 year old me but doing his best to suppress it and not act on it.

The same thing happened to my sister . And that was a an intensive driving course as well . Also we asked to see the instructors qualifications and he was not even fully qualified . Same thing the company that sold the courses said they were not responsible.

I think my sister got part refund but not all of it and that was a struggle .

They did not seem to give a damn to be honest .

My DDs will be of driving age in a few years time.

I might just look for female instructors for them given this seems to be a common issue.