Predatory driving instructor. Daughter wants refund. Help!

[friendlyflicka]

If anyone has experience of how to proceed with this I would be so grateful.

My just 17 year old daughter booked to go on an intensive driving course and paid more £1000 up front. As far as i knew we were booking through a driving school which seemed businesslike etc.

My daughter came back after the first day, visibly shaken. At 11 pm that night she asked if I or her boyfriend could go with her the next day. At 8 am - she was due to be picked up at 9 - she told me she couldn’t face going with him in the car. That he had been very ‘touchy’ and then she told me a string of very inappropriate comments he had made all sexual throughout the day.

I have no doubt that she is telling the truth. That is not my issue at all. And the emotional issue and toll on my daughter - can handle this as well: we are.

I contacted driving school and said that she would not be proceeding and then sent email detailing the instructor’s behaviour. The reply was that it was my daughter’s word against his and that he would speak to the driver the next day.

I rang the police for some advice because I didn’t know whether this was a civil matter. They were keen to press further, They said as a safeguarding issue they needed to speak to the driving school

The driving school absolutely absolved themselves of all responsibility for either the safeguarding or financial issues: the instructor was self employed: he had my daughter’s money.

I have made a complaint to DVSA about all issues. My daughter is upset but wants her money back. And just wants to start again: found a nice local instructor.

How do I go about things? I am dealing with the safeguarding through DVSA hopefully. But how do I recover her money. She was booked for 4 days: day 1, he allegedly assaulted her. Day 2, she cancelled after the 24 hour policy. Last 2 days she should be refunded whatever the results of any safeguarding enquiry.

Please tell me how to proceed. Purely in a financial sense to recover her money.

oh can you clarify do the company have to pay you back or the instructor

Not a lot of compensation for your d really but you have brought the problem of the harassment girls and women face regularly to more public attention. Often this kind of harassment is dismissed as a one off. Posters here have shown that not be true. Cab cameras could be legislated for: in no other circumstances would young women choose to get in a small space with a solitary man. Well done for pursuing the company. A great role model too.

Excellent news, OP; glad (but not surprised) that it was seen for what it was

Who's supposed to pay the damages though - the instructor or driving school? I'm just hoping you actually get them ...

That is fantastic news -- massive, massive congratulations! It is a huge achievement and I hope you are proud and pleased despite the emotional, mental and economic cost to you.

You have given your daughter a perfect example of why it IS worth fighting these attitudes. She must be INCREDIBLY proud of you and you have ensured that her experience will be the start of positive action rather than just a deeply upsetting memory. You've lit a fire in more than one person!

Have you considered contacting someone like Laura Bates (behind the Everyday Sexism project)? It feels like a good fit and she has an extensive platform which could help push your excellent idea of making in-car cameras mandatory for driving instructors. She could perhaps be someone who could help take things further and provide practical support? Sorry if this has already been suggested or you have already thought of it -- I have only read your updates recently.

Congratulations again and thank you so much for fighting on with this. For those of us who had similar experiences and all the young women now and to come, you have helped set a precedent to fight back against an industry where sexism and sexual misconduct seems to go unchecked.

I will be toasting you this evening -- I'm really delighted!

@Pumperthepumper

I’d honestly go to the papers about the driving school and I don’t say that lightly. They can’t promise to keep young women safe, other young women need to know that.

There needs to be a record made at the Police, even if she’s not willing to pursue a complaint. Basically he could go around the country doing things like this and without information being shared, another area would never know what he’d been up to. I would also ensure that every agency to do with learning to drive is informed.

Ugh it is disgusting. Ages ago when I first had lessons it was with a male instructor and he didn’t touch me at all but every analogy and explanation was based on something sexual. You push this like your doing .. blah or you turn this like x y z vile sexual innuendo. I hated it.
This must be common then judging by all the comments?

In the end I switched to learning with a woman instructor who was lovely. They were few and far between back then.

I’ve been following your story for a while OP. Please ask your DD to reconsider informing the police. Many years ago I was sexually assaulted at work, I reported it straight away then 2 other young female colleagues came out and reported the same. He was found guilty only to my charge but still it shows these predators don’t change their ways, they just carry on until it’s reported. I’m sorry your daughter (and you) went through this! You have done a fantastic job fighting for her.

That's great having suffered one of these woman hating aggressors as a driving instructor AND disbelieving parents I'm so impressed by you staying on with this. all the gold stars .

Bloody well done

Hurrah well done!

Well done!

The police were informed. There is a safeguarding record about him. DVSA also has a record and has warned him. Everything has been done that should be done.

This was a civil case to get a refund. The judge found the school iiable because terms and conditions were never mentioned when I paid. School claimed they were acting as an agency so it was something I needed to sort out with instructor

Well done!

Well done OP! Please keep fighting, for all the girls and women who should not have to put up with this.

Well done OP. You should be proud of yourself. Keeping fighting. xx

@friendlyflicka sorry I must have missed that about the police. But well done to you and your daughter.

Wow amazing news! Well done, what a great mum you are. This absolutely boils my blood though, these men at the driving school are just disgusting preying on vulnerable women and the other one covering up for him and washing his hands of liability. I’d say post about this driving school on every local social media channel you can to warn others before using them

Great news and well done for hanging in there.

I started to train to be a driving instructor and at that time only about 17% of instructors were female. I was the only woman in the course and was told I would never be out of work because so many 17 year olds' parents would probably prefer a woman cooped up in a confined special with their teens to a man. And safeguarding was high in the agenda during training.

It could be a really good steady career for women.

Bet he has a long history of doing this. I really think the police should know.

Oh, and one more comment -it's only libel if it's untrue!

You are awesome for persevering with this OP, well done. So glad you got a good result. What a great example to set your daughter. I hope she’s okay.

I’m so impressed with you. What an achievement! We will see you on Breakfast tele.

Thank you. I am so pleased

Well done OP, your daughter should be very proud of how well you fought for her!! Delighted you got the result you deserved.

thanks for replying i hope they dont take too long to pay you might have to instruct a baliff if they dont