To take sick days off work

[rmack19]

First time single mum 30 weeks pregnant. Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Just had half term as I'm a teacher but my whole family descended on me and I didn't get a minute's rest. Just needed a day or two of peace and quiet and sleep before returning to work but am feeling so guilty now. AIBU to have given myself a couple of extra days off? I probably could have gone in but feeling a little emotionally fragile and definitely tired!

YABU - you've just had a week off!

Honestly? Make sure your reason is pregnancy related so they can't use it as part of any sickness procedure and do it.

Bit of extra context - had very bad time in November mental health wise and had 3 weeks off. So I'm super aware of any changes in my mental state and realise the need to take care of this.

I'm 26 weeks pregnant and had yesterday off as i just felt like that - couldn't cope! Don't beat yourself up too much.

Yes I think unreasonable really, many people probably fancied a few extra days off but still rocked up to work....

You weren’t sick, just had family to visit and felt like you wanted a days peace

However it’s done know, so no point feeling guilty 🤷🏻‍♀️

Managing it would be not letting your family come last week

You're a teacher, you NEED your rest

Yes I think it's unreasonable to take days off work when you're not actually ill. I would have just let my family know they couldn't come, or have them do all the housework while I relax. Didn't your colleagues have to cover your classes?

Just saw your update - if you were genuinely ill - which includes mental health issues or exhaustion which left you unable to work then YANBU.

@P1nkHeartLovesCake I didn't 'fancy' a couple of extra days - I felt unable to cope with work. Love my job but it is extremely demanding and I didn't want to go in and be useless. My maternity cover is already in place so wasn't putting anyone out and work understand I've had a hard time with my pregnancy so far.

@LaurieFairyCake I should have put them off - you are dead right - but they live miles away and haven't been up to see me for a year - it was kind of a reconciliation visit which is what made it so stressful. I'm really isolated where I am as I have no family nearby and am doing this on my own.

I think it's reasonable. I've had to take time off in this pregnancy due to being exhausted. I have been suffering stomach pains as well and at the end of the day your health and your baby are more important than your job.
I would be cared though because I think at the stage you are they can make you go on maternity leave if they feel you're not up to working.

had a really bad time in November mental health wise and had 3 weeks off. So I'm super aware of any changes in my mental state and realise the need to take care of it

Well, maybe you should have used your half term to recharge your batteries! I really don't think it's fair to spend a week's holiday socialising then take time off your paid work, I'm afraid.

You're pregnant, exhausted, it's OK.
the 'being off sick police' will descend on you like you've committed the most heinous workplace/human crime saying 'just because you fancied a few extra days off' or 'you should manage your time/said no to family/done everything else better and PERFECTLY!' You can't be human, no.

In all seriousness, you know you, your mental health, its not the end of the world taking 2 days off, you're a human and you're carrying a baby. People will not cut others any slack sometimes when it comes to health and mental health. We aren't robots! We don't all operate the same!

I think you shouldn’t have had family to stay, unless they were helping out and giving you a rest. The half term should have been for recharging!

You are a first time Mum so could and should have rested up all that week.

If you are feeling too unwell to work during pregnancy then fair dos, if you can’t work, you can’t work. But you really are expected to do your best to mitigate your tiredness by using your time off - and weekends/ evening etc - to rest.

Being “too tired” when it’s your own choice is not really on. I mean, they won’t know that it’s your own fault your tired unless you tell them, but I think it’s a bit poor.

How much longer do you plan to work OP? I assume you will be trying to get to Easter (so 37 weeks?)

Yes, a bit unreasonable to tire yourself out over the holiday and then take time off to recuperate.

Oh god some people. You're pregnant and mentally exhausted of course you're not being unreasonable. Since when has a job been more important than health??! I just don't understand the way some people think.
When you're 80 will you care that you took a few days off in 2020 for your health? I guarantee you won't.

Take a few days to yourself OP, guilt free!

YANBU. Your health is the most important thing of all - rest and don't feel even slightly guilty about it.

YANBU, but this is MN where nobody ever takes a day off sick, you shouldn't post on here for reassurance on these kind of things. You'll get people telling you they've had 3 sick days in 30 years blah blah

Why are threads being started where OP has already made the decision but wants to find out if they ABU?( sick baby/ school pick up thread)
Whats the point ?
Youve already made the decision OP so thats ,that 🤷‍♂️
Dont put yourself out for the inevitable bashing on AIBU please OP

YABU

It was avoidable and should have been managed by not having guests or having them for a shorter time. Half term was your time to rest and recuperate. You chose not to then, but feel entitled to now.

I think you were unreasonable and more so considering you have just had a week off. Yes, your replacement is sorted but surely only starts once you have gone on maternity leave. I was that pregnant first time teacher once and worked up until 4 weeks before my baby was due. If you return to work and have a second child things will be much harder then believe me. It is done now so probably no point posting really.

No, I don’t think you were being unreasonable, it can be exhausting being pregnant and you’ve got to look after yourself first.

I’ve had to do this a couple of times during my pregnancy; normally I can just square my shoulders and get on with it but pregnancy has taken that ability away from me and I felt my health (both emotional and physical) was more important

This is Mumsnet where everybody goes to work with their head hanging off.

Put yourself first OP, nobody else will. Do you really care what an anonymous MNetter thinks?

YABU because you've literally just had a week off.

It's not the school's fault that you chose to entertain family instead of using that week to rest up.