To take sick days off work

[rmack19]

First time single mum 30 weeks pregnant. Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Just had half term as I'm a teacher but my whole family descended on me and I didn't get a minute's rest. Just needed a day or two of peace and quiet and sleep before returning to work but am feeling so guilty now. AIBU to have given myself a couple of extra days off? I probably could have gone in but feeling a little emotionally fragile and definitely tired!

Perhaps, you should be reviewing how you spend your time off, OP, rather than making your colleagues cover for your absence. Your decision to be busy on your days off - not your employers. YABU.

I think YABU.

You had a half term break ... and you didn't use it to take a break. and then you let down everyone else to recover from that.

i'm amazed at how many perfect workers there are here who'll do nothing but work themselves to the bone for companies that probably don't care.

She's already said she didn't put anybody out by doing it, so what's the issue here?

Is this anything to do with pregnancy or mental health really. Straight after a holiday like that sounds like the normal post holiday blues that everyone gets. I love my job but first day back after being off is always tough

What is it with these threads? As someone said on page 1, the sick at work police will always come on and condemn you for having flu, recurring migraines, a difficult pregnancy, mental health issues.

Sod ‘em. You know best what you can tolerate. Take those days off and see you feel from there. Nothing comes before your health/mental health.

By sickatworkpolice do you mean the people who actually do the job they are paid to do and don’t have time off when they are ‘feeling a bit sad, stressed or tired’ and end up covering for lazy people who take time off at the slightest provocation.
I’m not attacking the OP here as her previous mental health issues make the situation slightly different, just talking generally.

Since when has a job been more important than health??!

Since forever according to some Mumsnetters! Attendance at work is EVERYTHING! If you,
god forbid, you absolutely, HAVE to take a day off, you offer a day’s annual leave back out of guilt.

A bit cheeky maybe, easier said than done but you should have rested at half term so you could recharge but it's done now. honestly a couple of days off with a " tummy bug" i.e non pregnancy related wouldnt be the end of the world, particularly if they have cover for your work. it's important to take care of yourself. When do you start your maternity leave? If you are feeling like this now you may need to start it sooner rather than later.

Life’s too short. Your health always comes first. If you need the day off - take the day off.

Feet up. . Relax. . Take the time you need for you & your baby!
Like you say, you knew you overdid it and now don't feel able to cope mentally for a few days with a demanding job.

The world is not going to come to a standstill because you took a few days off work!

Like someone else previously said, when you're 80 years old looking back in your life you're not gonna be looking back feeling guilty about the time you took a few days off work.

Work to live don't live to work! 💐

And people saying it’s cheeky as you’ve had a week off - well so what. Pregnancy can be exhausting and with long days (as most teachers do), a family, a growing bump and other factors to weigh in; it’s not cheeky at all. If your body is tired; it needs to rest.

Think of the bigger picture OP; in 50 years time from now - will you still be saying it wish I went into work on Wednesday’...like come on. Take the day off and rest while you can before baby arrives

The attitudes of a lot of people on this thread are exactly why people get stressed at work.
As they have to cover for lazy, irresponsible people who seem to think work is an inconvenience to their social lives.

And I repeat what I said before. If the OP is tired and doesn’t want to be at work, that is totally understandable and she should go on maternity leave.

YANBU. While I was pregnant I had SPD/PGP or whatever you want to call it. I felt awful. If I pushed myself through 3 days of it I would feel terrible for a week and would end up of sick for 4/5 days. However if I did 2 days, had a rest and then did another 2 I'd manage the week with one day off sick. So that's what I did, I was off sick a whole bunch of Wednesdays. I explained to my manager why and he was ok with it. That was that. You took 2 days to recharge. Alternatively you could have waited until you couldn't go on and may well have ended up signed off.

You couldn’t predict how you would feel after your family visiting, so put your feet up and get some rest

The next few weeks will be the last chance of peace you get for a long time, look after yourself above anything. Yanbu

I agree I wouldn’t put myself through the sick police when decision has been made. No it’s probably not great to take paid time off when you could have said no to visitors. But life is life and not always easy to do that. I think a few days pregnancy sick is fine, but I do find it annoying when people take loads of time off in pregnancy as they know they can’t receive a warning. You’re on the home stretch now so hopefully you can make it to the date when you start your mat leave

This is poor form and YABU (sorry though, and hope you're feeling better!).

You took 2 days to recharge. Alternatively you could have waited until you couldn't go on and may well have ended up signed off.

Alternatively she could have recharged during the 9 days she had off immediately prior to the 2 days

If you can't cope, then take early mat leave - I took ML from 29 weeks with my first - or actually was signed off sick at wrk 27, half term was week 28 and I took ML as early as possible at week 29. And I didn't even qualify for teacher's maternity pay either as I was on a temporary contract. Your health IS more important, but mucking everyone about taking lots of time off sick is not the best way to manage it.

So..... depression, stress and mental fatigue aren't real illnesses???

So..... Does that mean Caroline flack isn't really dead?

Sorry but yabu, you are pregnant, not dying. Any sickness related to pregnancy can force the school to put you on automatic maternity leave meaning less time when baby is born.

Loving these "should have rested during half term" posts as if she will ever get a rest in her life again once she becomes a mother. Sometimes resting up for a whole week is just not possible.

Also, sometimes you have to push yourself too far to figure out where your limit is, especially when you're pregnant and your threshold for stress and exhaustion is suddenly lower. Now you know for next time. Lesson learned! Take care of yourself OP.

@MidniteMessenger not until 4 weeks before she's due they can't.

@WorraLiberty now she knows that having so much family over is too much for her and goi forward probably won't do it again. Point is it's done now.

I wonder if all these people who say OP was unreasonable to take 2 days off have been teachers? Or perhaps they were lucky and had easy pregnancies? No she's not dying but she is growing a new,life and that's exhausting.
Not everyone can be perfect and work until 20 minutes before they give birth. Why can't women support each instead of kicking them when they're down?