To take sick days off work

[rmack19]

First time single mum 30 weeks pregnant. Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Just had half term as I'm a teacher but my whole family descended on me and I didn't get a minute's rest. Just needed a day or two of peace and quiet and sleep before returning to work but am feeling so guilty now. AIBU to have given myself a couple of extra days off? I probably could have gone in but feeling a little emotionally fragile and definitely tired!

And PP are right. When you're pregnant you do have to put yourself first.

That's what you should have done during your half term holiday.

If you needed a rest that was what half term was for. And I say that as a teacher. Go to work.

I stopped teaching at 33 weeks (don't understand this need to have to drag yourself in while heavily pregnant). It's normal where we live now to stop at that time. My DSis is currently 24 weeks and has just been signed off work completely, which is also quite common here.
If you are feeling rubbish, stay off work. No point having a useless teacher in the classroom. (I went back two weeks after an ectopic and at times I really wasn't up to teaching my class. Luckily, it was two weeks before the summer holidays, so I was forgiven for just taking them out for extra play when I needed some air and space.)

Why do people ask for validation on this? I’ve just had a week off, I was too sociable so now I need another two days off to recover 🙄 if you’ve got the brass neck to do it in the first place I don’t know why you bother posting in an Internet forum.

I don’t understand why you didn’t just no to your family? There’s no break from babies - what happens when your family descend on you then and you just shrug your shoulders and let them?

You're a teacher, you NEED your rest

She's just had a week's rest, it's not the fault of her school that she allowed hoards of people to visit.

Don’t feel guilty, seems to be the norm for teachers to be off sick all the time at my kids school so you are not the only one!

So you have 3 weeks off in November, probably 3 weeks for Christmas, a week in Feb now wanting more time off? Yes YABU you've had more time off in the last 4 months than I get all year!

Give yourself a break, OP. Oh, you already did!

Don't feel guilty, there's no point. Yes, you misjudged your energy levels, but you don't do it all the time. If you were an irresponsible idiot you wouldn't feel so guilty, would you. I'll wager that those criticising you on here have also made mistakes themselves from time to time.

This is Mumsnet where everybody feels the need to be a paragon of virtue yet makes snide comments from behind the anonymity of a screen.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable because you’re 30 weeks pregnant. Do what you need to to look after yourself and your baby.
But in future refuse to have guests if the school holiday is only a week long!

Yanbu - do what’s best for you. If there’s any time that you should, it is when you’re pregnant x

I'm a teacher now but wasn't when I was pregnant. Then, I worked full time but remember feeling totally wiped out by the time I got home. I also had weekends to enjoy.

I genuinely don't know how teachers cope being pregnant without that regular downtime!

YANBU.

Unfortunately this just makes employers stop employing women that are of pregnancy age.........................................

It’s pretty poor, irresponsible and unprofessional to overdo it in the holiday and then take time off work sick because of it.

It’s unclear to me whether (and possibly to you too) whether you could actually go in without risking harm to yourself. If you can, you should. If pushing through this week and then making sure you take it really easy over the weekend will serve the same purpose as not going into work now, then that is what you should do, even if it means canceling plans with friends or some other thing you’ve been looking forward to. But if going in really does put you at risk of sliding back into whatever mental health issue you had before or might put your pregnancy at risk in some way, then yes you should take the time off. No one should be risking their health for a routine job.

As you’re pregnant, you can probably get away with throwing a sickie I. The way that most of us can’t

*I meant to say at the end - irresponsible or not, it’s a learning curve and almost everyone has made a misjudgement about what they can cope with at some point.

It’s unreasonable to take days off work because you couldn’t manage your time better over half term. That is when you should have been resting.

If you can’t manage family descending on you and affecting your ability to function now then you are going to be in a whole world of pain once you have your baby.

Stand up for yourself. Say NO.

Know how you feel. I worked the whole of my first pregnancy, never took a sick day, then towards the end I just couldn’t go in, just couldn’t 🤷‍♀️ Drove all the way there, cried outside and drove all the way home again. If you need a day off, have a day off. Don’t threat about it! You’ll have a few months off soon anyway 😄

Useful that pregnancy sickness doesn’t count isn’t it?

Don't worry about it OP sometimes you just need a bit of time to reset.
You'll get every Tom Dick and Harriet on here telling you they've dragged themselves in with Ebola, the plague and broken arms and legs all on the same day no doubt.
Feel better soon.

You are only pregnant for a short period of time in relation to the depressingly high number of years we have to churn out at work before retiring, so no I wouldn't feel bad. Make sure it's recorded as pregnancy related, as it was, and it can't be counted towards any sickness limits.

callmeadoctor - yet despite employers not wanting to employ women of childbearing age, unemployment is at a low and millions of women are in jobs.

I also hear that young people between 18-24 can’t find jobs and nobody hires anybody over 50. But it’s not like employers only hire men aged 25-39 and women aged 42-49!

What does it matter what MN think.
You e done it now!🤷‍♀️

2 days now is better than weeks off later on because you've pushed yourself too far having had a bad time mental health wise not that long ago. You are going to get flamed of course because you're a teacher and there are lots of people who think you only work actual school hours/don't have to do any work in the school holidays/weekends.