To take sick days off work

[rmack19]

First time single mum 30 weeks pregnant. Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Just had half term as I'm a teacher but my whole family descended on me and I didn't get a minute's rest. Just needed a day or two of peace and quiet and sleep before returning to work but am feeling so guilty now. AIBU to have given myself a couple of extra days off? I probably could have gone in but feeling a little emotionally fragile and definitely tired!

YANBU at all. Being pregnant can be exhausting let alone being pregnant and teaching. Take the days you need so that your MH has less of a chance of getting to the point where you struggle. I'd far rather an absent co-worker than one who struggles in silence and ends up having to leave.

Of course YABU to have over done it in the holidays and then used work time to recover. Not massively different to calling in with a hangover.

I think you are being very reasonable. You are doing what is best for you and your baby. Imagine if something bad happened to your baby? You would never forgive yourself.

But I think there are a lot of people on here that are unreasonable, uncompassionate, and unkind.

You clearly think it was reasonable so why are you asking?

Absolutely nothing wrong with it in my opinion. I am a teaching assistant and when I had my eldest I went on maternity leave at 29 weeks as I was exhausted.

YABU - You should have looked after yourself over half term rather than not having ‘a minutes rest’ - If you have already had an extended time off for MH issues you should have prioritised your own health.

Not sure why you posted. I guess you knew you would get lots of ‘frothing’ replies ( like mine 🤔).

I bet you're really popular at work.

The woman is 30 weeks pregnant. Give her a break.

YABU. You've just had a bloody week off work.

The woman is 30 weeks pregnant. Give her a break

She had a break!😅 A long break - which would have given her a great opportunity to relax but she chose to race around looking after her family instead.

I wonder if the angry commentators sit at home whipping themselves into a frenzy. I can imagine then raging that they can’t report the OP in real life. 😂

I once had a PM saying they were going to report me to my employer, not that they knew my name or employer. Made me laugh, think I told them to fuck off.

I think the fact you posted on here essentially looking for reassurance from strangers means you did need to take the time off. Live and learn, shorter family visit next time. But please don't beat yourself up about taking two days off, don't waste what could be rest time with worrying. Also, you need to think how to pace yourself and take care of yourself in the last few weeks at work. Teaching is a very different job from being in an office, where there's (sometimes) more scope to sit down, raise your ankles, go at a slower pace. You can't with teaching, and you're growing a mini human! Be really kind to yourself

OP, did you want a family visit over half term?

You can take maternity leave from 28 weeks if work is becoming too much for you.

Yanbu, take the time!

YANBU, in my opinion it's not worth pushing yourself in if you genuinely don't feel like you can! You are pregnant and being pregnant can be really tough sometimes so you need to do what your body is telling you. I'm 23 weeks pregnant and have been off since I was 6 weeks, not because I can't be bothered but because I'm having a difficult pregnancy in a few ways.

OP, I will add my voice to those saying do it! DH is a teacher and as a direct result of his job has mental health problems.

If he feels on a downward spiral he will take a couple of days to ward off a full on melt down.

I suggest you do the same.

Oh and never feel guilty or ask a sensible question on AIBU!

Not unreasonable, but maybe time to think more about local support options eg. NCT / other bumps and babies groups / breastfeeding cafes / baby groups for people who can become friends/friendly acquaintances and lend a listening ear, even if they can't offer more practical support.

And time to think about how you manage your family around the birth - sounds like they will add stress, rather than help, so think about what your boundaries are.

Your other option is planning to move house to be closer to people who can provide practical support, but it's not something you can do right now.

I think after 29 weeks any time off work pregnancy related kicks maternity leave so think about using it as it could have negative effects

Too late if you've already posted the parties on FB. Otherwise, do it.

loosegoose that’s absolutely fine and sensible. You started maternity leave early and would have had less maternity leave after the baby was born. Your choice to make.
But the OP has basically enjoyed socialising over half term and is now using time she is not entitled to.
OP the fair thing to do if you are struggling would be to start your maternity leave ASAP then you can have as much rest as you want and are just using up your legitimate entitlement before the birth rather than after.
To the people saying she should say it’s pregnancy related rather than normal sickness that is ok up until 4 weeks before when any maternity sickness will trigger Maternity leave.

It is tough being a teacher, I am one and worked up to 38 weeks with both pregnancies, I also know how much extra work absence causes people in your department.

You could have looked after your MH by resting over half term. You chose not to and then used MH as a reason for some extra days.

Why bother posting when you've already done it?

YABU. You’ve just had 9 days off - surely you could have had a few of those to do nothing. Doubt your visitors were with you for the whole entire 9 days!