Tell me about your worst ever date

[Whyhaveidonethis]

I'm trying (and failing) to conceive and need some cheering up, so I wondered if anyone wanted to share terrible date stories?

I'll start (although it's not exactly what happened on the date, but after); I once went on a date when I was 14 with a guy who was a couple of years older than me. He clearly adored me, to the extent that he declared that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I didn't enjoy it one bit and then he tried to kiss me, it was awful, all slobbery and wet. He spent the whole date telling me how he loved me, and then I got home and found he had sent me 12 red roses for when I got back from the date. He called me everyday after and I would get my mum to say I wasn't home.

One time I forgot and answered the phone. He asked if it was me and I answered "sorry, I'm not home right now!!" And hung up.

I had quite a nice long walk to a pub, drink, and walk back with a guy I met on a course. Seemed like a good use of our afternoon.

Then he came into my flat, exclaimed over how cute it was, and asked if he could move in.

Mine isn’t even that bad but a couple of years ago, when I was 19, I went on date with a guy I met on tinder.

He suggested the alchemist as a nice place to meet for a drink so I agreed. Upon arrival, he’d lied about his height and a few other things but I gave him the benefit of the doubt (my current boyfriend of 1.5 years is my height 5’9 ish).

He bought the first drink so instead of asking for the one I wanted which was £12 I got a much cheaper £7 one and so did he. I offered to buy the second drink and he picked the most expensive thing on my menu meaning I’d spent triple what he had and there was no connection at all.

sorry, I'm not home right now!!

I went on a date with a guy who had a few pints whilst we waited for our meals to come, and then he promptly dozed off. I finished my meal before waking him up to say I was going to head home. He looked confused and asked if I fancied going somewhere else for a drink ? He did contact me afterwards to say how disappointed he was that he hadn't heard from me since the date as he though we had gotten on really well ( he must have dreamed that bit )

There are so many, I could write a blog!

I'll pick this one though, as it's one I've not told many people about IRL so I think I'm fairly safe 😂

It was one of my first 'post-divorce' dates, so I was very out of practise and extremely nervous. I rarely drink much, never have, but whilst waiting for date to arrive (he was late...but had called to say so) I had a glass of wine.

He arrived full of apologies, and immediately bought me another to 'say sorry'. It was already getting on for 9pm by this point, and I hadn't eaten since breakfast. Dinner is ordered, and a bottle of wine! I'm already feeling very tipsy, but nerves took hold and I had more wine...still waiting to eat! Food arrives...looks amazing, but my stomach is by now fully loaded with red wine and I start feeling sick 🤢

Yup! I vomited all over the table...food is ruined...I'm crying (always do!) and he just looks on in horror. I'm so mortified but can't stop heaving (and crying!)

To his credit, he didn't run out on me, paid the bill and made sure I got home safely. But there was no second date 🤷‍♀️

Online dating, first date. Date itself was fine.

Running into him, his wife and baby at the supermarket later that evening ruined it a bit though..

I left and got on a bus to the station - unluckily there was another bus just after and he followed me onto a train and started pleading with me how he just wanted sex, how sad he was still living with his mother and how he hated his job as a traffic warden!

Sure Ive told this before but there was he guy who lied about being a hotel manager, when he was actually a waiter (didn't care except for the lie), went to the toilet, came back and held my hands with his wet ones and told me I was good breeding stock.

Then a guy who I didn't really fancy but who I thought had lots of personality who told me on the first date he'd just been let out of a mental hospital in France where he'd tried to rob a bank. After I declined a second date he said he'd thought I wasn't so shallow...

The bloke who told me (Completely seriously) he was pleased I “was as fat in real life as I looked in my photo because he had always wanted to fuck a fat bitch” was a particular low point...turns out he had a “weird fuck bingo” going on with his mates.

Oh no @G5000 what an arse!

@Carouselfish you shallow person you! WTH would he even tell you that on a first date. Bit weird, how did he weave that into the conversation!? Lol.

@Ghostontoast And you didn't immediately jump him on the train? Shame on you!!!

@BanSprouts did he not remember falling asleep? Are you that boring? 

@northernknickers I'm impressed he stayed, pretty sure half the men I've dated would have buggered off!

held my hands with his wet ones and told me I was good breeding stock wtaf!

I went on a date once with a guy who I had met online. We went to a ‘trendy’ bar in London and we were talking about skiing. He then asked me to show him how I skied. I was a bit and refused. He then proceeded to show me his ‘perfect’ stance and told me “I do not believe people can really ski until they can say that they own the mountain”
Needless to say I didn’t see him again

@Whyhaveidonethis I know right! 😳

He was really chivalrous about the whole thing (I mean, yes, he did look horrified at my first gush, but then who wouldn’t be a bit 😱 watching their fillet steak being ruined by someone else’s vomit 🤷‍♀️).

To be fair, he messaged me the following day to check that I was ok, so there might have been a glimmer of hope...but I was way too embarrassed by my appalling show the night before 🤦‍♀️

When I was younger my first ever boyfriend took me to McDonald’s for a first day. Being young at the time I didn’t really mind but I was just getting over an illness and still off my food. I couldn’t eat it. He thought I was being a right snob but I had just been so Ill.

Another time I was seeing a guy. He asked if I wanted to take a drive and get some good (kfc). I said yes. Now I’m not a girl who expects a man to pay but he picked me how and told his bank card had been swallowed and I’d have to pay for both. Again I don’t mind but it turns out his bank card was not swallowed he was just too embarrassed to say he was absolutely skint... I went out with the same guy one night. He got smashed and I had to basically hold him up walking home. Needless to say it didn’t last long.

My first date with my now OH of 7.5 years wasn’t great. we actually met on a dating site. I was going out for the night with some friends and Asked him to come meet me for a bit. I felt safer doing it that way. We could
Not hear a bloody thing in the club. I wasn’t drunk at all but he was driving so completely sober and it just wasn’t great. Thankfully it’s all been good since then! We just aren’t ‘clubbers’ 🤣

A couple of weeks ago someone asked me on a date. I said I'd like to spend time with him and get to know him a bit better, but not sure I wanted a full-on relationship, which he said was fine.

The next day I get a call asking, "Where are you?"

Me - "I'm out at the moment, why?"

Him, "I'm outside your house."

He then said I was sending mixed signals and I was messed up. I swiftly told him a date wouldn't be happening....weirdo...

OMFG @IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece I bloody hope he does step on lots of Lego, what a twat.

My current DP tells me the first time we met, I told him he had great nipples, as they were sticking through his shirt. I then proceeded to rub them!! He was slightly terrified.

My old boss asked me out on a date to go to a funfair.
I went out the previous night and got hammered, so I was feeling a bit hung over.

It was a hot August bank holiday and the Funfair was packed solid, but I felt really sick so I bought some bottled water.
I watched as he went on some rides on his own, then he convinced me to go on the umbrella ride , needless to say I threw up🤮 and the trail of watery sick hit 2 girls sitting behind us! They exclaimed where is this water coming from!! Erm..... it was my 🤢 sick!

To add to my humiliation, the guy running the Umbrella ride had to put a cleaning sign out and people had to queque for the ride.

The guy said to me....... So you didn’t like the ride then!

My ex boss thought it was really funny...... no romance developed!!🥳

@Neverender I think you swerved a missile there. Bloody hell, did he expect you to invite him in and ravish him?

I went out for dinner with a man I met speed dating. We ordered a starter and a main each. He wolfed his starter in three mouthfuls then reached his fork over and wolfed the rest of mine. He did the same with the mains. I declined ordering a dessert as I knew I wouldn't get to eat that either. I asked for the bill and he said "we're going half's right?". I said that as I only had one drink and three mouthfuls of food, as he had eaten the rest, that he should pay the whole bill. He said that it's nice to share each others meals when you're on a date and that I was being unreasonable! I put a £20.00 note on the table, told him I had to leave as I was working the early shift in the morning, got a taxi home and never saw him again. That was ten years ago and his FB status says he's still single, I wonder why!

I was on a date with a guy one time. We'd met online and he'd seemed nice, but in person the whole thing was just lacking 'spark'. I was working out how to knock it on the head and go home.

He persuaded me to go to a club. Alright, I thought. I fancy a dance and I can maybe lose him in the crowd (I was young, don't judge me).

He started doing a very odd swaying dance in front of me. (Like Phoebe in Friends when she's trying to fake-seduce Chandler.)

Then he took his water bottle, held it over his head, and tipped it all over himself. I think he thought it looked sexy or something. But he had neither the face, the body nor the attitude to carry it off. He looked like he was delousing himself.

And then the club people started yelling because he'd spilled water all over the dance floor. I left, sharpish, and got a bus home.

Went out with a guy I'd met at a group I'd joined. Not my usual type but I was out of a long term abusive relationship and thought what the hell.

Spent the first part of the evening telling me his loan and come through and his insurance payout too so he had quite a bit of money. OK, bit weird but I always went Dutch on dates so it wasn't an issue. He ordered steak, cocktails etc, I got what I wanted. The bill came and he got his coat saying 'you'll have to get get this - I didn't bring my wallet out.

More fool me I agreed to a second date. We went Dutch this time but it was only to the cinema. On the way home to told me I was going to have to convert to Catholicism to stay with him and to expect to have twins because they ran in the family. STILL being stupid I agreed to him staying over. Except as soon as we'd DTD he leapt out of bed saying he needed to go to confession for sleeping with a fallen woman.

There was no third date.

Whyhaveidonethis I've no idea! He said I was, "Ungrateful"

First date with a guy. He drove us to the nearest big town (40 minutes away) to a pub with a pool table and proceeded to beat me 12 times out of 13. (And that was only because he accidentally potted the black or whatever it was he did) 13 fucking games of fucking pool! I didn't even like pool! And as we lived so far from that town he wasn't drinking and I had a half a lager. Dullest date ever.

I still married him though and you couldn't ask for a better hubby and father.

We also spent our first year or so of dating going on nights out to that big town, drinking in the pubs and clubs then having to wait til 4 or 5am because the taxis (even pre-booked) refused to drop out of towners off until the locals were home because they could make far more money doing 20 trips to our one trip.
It took us over a year to admit we hated it. I think I said it first and he said, "THANK FUCK FOR THAT! Me too! I'd much rather stay in with a cuppa!"

Now we high five each other when we find we have a good excuse to decline an invite to some event like a cousin's wedding reception or a friend's 40th etc.

He bragged about how he’d nearly been thrown out of university because his womanising was affecting his studies. He also relished telling me how he used any excuse to touch up his (female) tennis coach.

And they say romance is dead.

Oh, actually I’ve got another one that was just as horrific. Bumped into someone with whom I used to work and we agreed to catch up over a coffee one lunch. Except he’d booked a Michelin starred restaurant (without telling me) and proceeded to crack on to me throughout the meal, to the point that I had to invent a) a rugby-playing boyfriend who was the jealous type and b) an afternoon client meeting I needed to rush back for. The whole thing was utterly mortifying and he’d gone to so much effort (and expense) I didn’t feel I could tel him he was a presumptuous arse who was already ringing my consent alarm bells.