Tell me about your worst ever date

[Whyhaveidonethis]

I'm trying (and failing) to conceive and need some cheering up, so I wondered if anyone wanted to share terrible date stories?

I'll start (although it's not exactly what happened on the date, but after); I once went on a date when I was 14 with a guy who was a couple of years older than me. He clearly adored me, to the extent that he declared that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I didn't enjoy it one bit and then he tried to kiss me, it was awful, all slobbery and wet. He spent the whole date telling me how he loved me, and then I got home and found he had sent me 12 red roses for when I got back from the date. He called me everyday after and I would get my mum to say I wasn't home.

One time I forgot and answered the phone. He asked if it was me and I answered "sorry, I'm not home right now!!" And hung up.

I worked selling roses round pubs and clubs years ago. Really enjoyable work and we donated a percentage to Special care baby units in various hospitals around the North West. I had one boyfriend make a beeline for me when I entered a club he was drinking in. He asked me if I wanted a drink and, needing a break, I'd said, "sure, thanks."
Got to the bar, he ordered himself and I a drink and then told me I'd need to buy them. I said I obviously didn't have any money and he pointed to my money tin. It was sealed! I couldn't get to my boss's money even if I wanted to. He expected me to open it and buy the drinks and leave him with a tenner too so he didn't have to go home yet.

I declined the request of stealing from my bosses (and of course, the special care baby units!) and luckily one of my regular customers witnessing this awkward scene turned round and said, "Here Brontesisters, I'll get them in." And paid for my drink so I could have my drink and slink away embarrassed!

@PlausibleSuit that made me snigger.... I wonder if he'd seen an advert and thought it looked super cool?! 😂

@BronteSisters lol. Me and DP drank Rose wine everytime we met up because I had been skint the first time we had dinner together as it was the cheapest thing on the menu, until I finally admitted to him that I didn't actually like it!! He then said "me either--I only drunk it because ordered it that night!! 😂

Many years ago I worked in an office with a bloke, our desks faced each other. We became sort of friends, having the occasional lunchtime drink but nothing more.

One afternoon he asked me to go out on a date with him that evening which I did. We had a great time and as we were close to where he lived he suggested I go back with him to call a taxi (pre mobile phone days).

He suggested a drink before calling for the taxi and I said great. He disappeared and shortly reappeared, not with drinks but stark naked apart from his socks, stood proudly in the doorway and said TA DA!!

I creased up with laughing and couldn't stop, he was furious (and presumably embarrassed) and I grabbed my bag and left.

The next day I apologised for my reaction but he refused to look or speak to me and that continued for six months until I left.

I went on a blind date in my late teens with a guy I met online. Date went ok ish, he wasn't exactly my type. At the end of the date I could see he was very keen to kiss me (I wasn't keen). He was trying to get closer to me and the he started to growl at me. I guess he thought that would turn me on or something. It didn't.

The very first date I went on was with a guy a few years older than me who I met online. There was no discussion of where we would go, he just informed me we were going to play pool and watch a film. I had never played pool before and he touched my backside repeatedly and rubbed his crotch over me under the guise of 'teaching me'! The game finished and I informed him we needed to go to the cinema otherwise we'd miss the film. He put his arm out in front of me to stop me and said, in a very serious and stern voice "we go to the cinema when I say we go to the cinema." I refused a second date and he text me a few days later saying he wasn't sure why I didn't like him saying we go to the cinema when he says we go because he friend told him that's what girls liked?? Still makes me feel sick thinking about it!! Weirdo!!

@SilverySurfer omg. I have this picture of him in my head shaking his dangles!!! 😂 How on earth did you look at him each day after that?!!

Whilst I was at uni a boy I’d been on a couple of dates before going to uni contacted me he started phoning constantly, sending me flowers then visited to take me out for dinner he said he had a surprise for me. He turned up in a zooped up fiesta complete with bucket seats and a really loud exhaust it was so embarrassing after dinner he asked me whether he’d be staying over I lied and said I was on a twilight shift and ran for the hills

@SilverySurfer you encountered the naked man in the wild

A guy i went on a date with told me he had divorced his wife as she hadn't "obeyed him" like she had said in her vows. He walked me to my car afterwards, but when i got in he pinned me against my seat, leant in and shoved his whirring tongue in my mouth hard, whilst jamming his hand down the neck of my top and pumping his hand on my boob. He was that all-male public school type and seriously uncool.

1. Guys card declined in NANDO'S.
2. Guy wouldn't stop staring at me and didn't speak at all (shy). Then as I was on the phone to my best friend briefly and he went to go buy tickets, I caught him staring at me from behind the pillar. Nope.
3. I have a terrace and my date wanted a cigarette. I was in the kitchen and heard an almighty crash and ping! He had tried to climb over my baby gate but somehow tore it off the doorframe and got his foot tangled in the bars.
4. Guy got so drunk after dinner he threw up in the taxi home. I got out at a random train station, said goodbye and proceeded to get lost somewhere in East Ham.

A guy spent quite some time coming to my office to chat me up. After several weeks, he asked me if I'd like to go to the theatre, maybe we could have something to eat first.

I bloody love the theatre and jumped at this offer, hoping for something at the National or Old Vic.

He took me to see Cats. I fucking hate musicals, and love TS Eliot. I think capital punishment would be mild for what Lloyd Webber did to Old Possum's book. It was an appalling couple of hours.

And the something to eat was at a dreadful Aberdeen Steak House!

I'd rather have stayed home and cleaned the oven than endure that.

@LakieLady oh god, I agree. I bloody hate Cats. Real ones and the musical!!

@EmmiJay not all the same guy?

I went for a blind date with a guy who I met online. He picked me up with very fancy car that his parents had bought for him. We had a dinner and he paid. But he was really boring. When he dropped me off he asked if I am now going to be his girlfriend. And I should decide straight away because there are other girls waiting for to be his girlfriend. I said no and bye bye.

This guy took me to his local pub and offered me cocaine. I drink decaf tea. He was well off the mark

Ugh. So many.

1. had a guy move in my face and slobber over my face like a dog. I had no choice but to wipe from ear to ear and nose to chin with my palm when he was done.
2. one got so horrifically drunk but insisted he was driving home. So I stole his keys and phone and called his mum to get him. He was almost 30.
3. made a grown man cry (again drunk) when I pulled him up on a misogynistic comment
4. guy turned up an hour late, said he fell asleep after he got out of the bath I'd travelled a long way to meet him so stupidly stayed. He suggested going back to his for drinks and was clearly trying to get me drunk, so I played him at his own game and topped up his drink with rum whenever his back was turned.

He threw up in his own shoe.

First one should be *move in for a kiss! I must still be traumatised

Aw LakieLady it sounds like he tried. I'd have liked to be taken to see Cats. Not so much the steak house.
I've had a number of dodgy dates. Two spring to mind:

1. Went out, had nice evening, got home and my phone rang and it was definitely him but saying truly vile things about what he wanted to do to me (sexually). Quite a shock as he'd seemed normal. I hung up and when he rang back I handed the phone to my lodger who was a police sergeant and said: "Hello I'm PS xx, if you ever call this number again you'll be getting a visit from my colleagues." Didn't hear again.
2. Another guy I met on line turned out to be noting like his photo or description. I'd barely sat down and he produced the most enormous plate sized piece of chocolate which had been hand decorated with my name and hearts. I never ate it and declined second date.

@Mummymummums I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have eaten the chocolate either!!!

Love these stories, keep them coming

@Bansku19 are you sure he was old enough to drive?! 😂

1. Went to a ceilidh with him and couldn't cope with the sweat and bo that was coming from him. I know I sound shallow, but it was making me feel sick. I decided that if we were meant to be I wouldn't have reacted so strongly to it.

2. Travelled across the country to see a bloke I'd met on a train. Think this was our second date. He was in the RAF. We had lunch, then walked back to barracks. He took me to his room then left me for a couple of hours to pick up his motorbike from the garage. There was nothing for me to do. We then walked to the NAAFI to get food. I think he made me pay for my own - a ready meal. Rest of the date followed in similar fashion - I didn't see him again.

3. Met up with a guy who had shown interest in me. Turns out he was married and had a newborn baby. I ended up spending the entire date giving him marriage guidence!

@Whyhaveidonethis Not the same guy no...imagine if it was!😯🤣

I was 19 and quite shallow....got asked out by a guy I’d spoken to a few times in my local. Didn’t fancy him but he had a Lexus and my mates all thought he was fit and apparently ‘loaded’. So I agreed to a date and asked him to pick me up from work (so everyone could see his flash car ) id told everyone at work that he was minted and we’d probably go for cocktails and a nice meal somewhere...

He took me to Maccy d’s and got himself a fish fillet burger that STANK. I turned down the ever so appealing menu and just had a coke. After the ‘meal’ he said he’d take me to see his ‘home gym’ I was stupidly young and easily impressed (and wanting something decent to tell my mates) so off we went. I was expecting something like Bannatynes gym and spa....unfortunately it was an exercise bike in the middle of his bedsit, that he seemingly used as a wardrobe and a couple of weights on the floor.
Thankfully I wasn’t silly enough to sleep with him or agree to a second date! Weirdly he text me the next day saying “I’ve never fallen for someone so quickly before”

Thankfully I learnt to be less shallow.

I was 19 went on a date with a 30 year old guy I'd met at a party, he spent most the date relating every topic of conversation to Alan Partridge. It was excruciating as I kept having to say I'd never seen it. He invited me back to his to watch it, then robbed the cab I'd flagged when I politely declined.

A friend asked if I wanted to go to the cinema. Totally normal for us. Except it suddenly became clear whilst we were chatting before the film that he thought it was a date. Except it wasn’t just that it was a date, it was that this was the start of our relationship and how he couldn’t wait to introduce me to all his family. I racked my brains for ages trying to think if I’d missed some earlier clues but there was literally nothing. I clarified definitively after the film that I’d had a nice time but I wasn’t interested in a relationship with him. I phased him out, not just because of this but because of normal life stuff but for about a year I’d get random emails telling me he still loved me and was I sure I didn’t want to try again. So my worst date was one I didn’t even know I was on.

I had two dates, a few years apart in totally different circumstances and both ended with my date and my oldest friend sleeping together. On the actual date. Yes, it happened TWICE

She's still my oldest friend and funnily enough neither of us ever saw the guys again...