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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she should send it back?

83 replies

Wafflecopter · 13/12/2019 19:26

A friend of mine ordered a cheap item of clothing, from a very large online company for her DC to use at school, a totally different item arrived in its stead, which is a very expensive designer dress.

The stickers on the bag the dress arrived in are for the cheap item.

She has asked our group WhatsApp for our opinions on if she should keep the item, sell it and buy the cheaper item elsewhere so she doesn’t raise suspicion. Or if she should send it back.
I was surprised to find that I was the only one who thought she should send it back!
I’m now wondering if I’m the strange one.

For clarification the bag itself was right, it’s just that the stickers on the bag were for the item ordered so it’s been scanned and sent to her, and she’s not sure they’d be able to track it.
I’m not sure if that’s true to be honest, surely they must have some way of finding out?

So MN hive mind, what do you reckon?

YABU - She should keep it.
YANBU - She should send it back.

OP posts:
Pinkflipflop85 · 13/12/2019 19:38

Yabu

PatricksRum · 13/12/2019 19:40

Yabu

LastMichaelmas · 13/12/2019 19:42

All your friends are thieves.

I was sent a very expensive media player instead of a case for the one I already had.

I sent it back, after a few minutes wrestling with the fact that a tiny evil part of my mind wanted to keep it. But I know that in reality, keeping it would've never been an option for me. Because I'm not a thief. Would've been nice to receive some thanks though.

JacquesHammer · 13/12/2019 19:42

She should contact the retailer and explain the error. They may well advise her to keep it.

She shouldn’t keep something she hasn’t paid enough for.

Original poster
Wafflecopter · 13/12/2019 19:49

Ohh the vote is pretty close so far!
I’ve let her know about the thread so she can see the outcome, she is on tenterhooks haha!

I mean I don’t think they’re hardened criminals Grin but I just feel like it’s morally wrong to keep the dress.
I very much doubt this retailer would say to keep it instead of returning it, they don’t strike me as the type.

OP posts:
LastMichaelmas · 13/12/2019 19:53

No, not hardened criminals. It's not like they're advocating shoplifting or insurance fraud or anything active. It's just not actively choosing to not be a thief.

Branster · 13/12/2019 19:53

If she keeps it, then she’d be stealing.
Someone made a mistake and your friend shouldn’t take advantage of that.
I went to collect an expensive ring once (jewellers called to say it was ready). Sent DH to pick it up and they gave him the wrong ring (beautiful but much bigger than what I wanted and a lot more expensive). I realised it was bigger when I put it on and then looked at the photo I took of the one I ordered and it was a different design even if similar. Absolutely everybody told me to keep the wrong ring and some people even said ‘don’t be stupid, keep it, it’s bigger and more expensive’. The thing is, if I wanted a bigger, flashier ring I would have ordered one myself. It’s stupid to keep it. When I called the jewellers they said I can keep it if I want as it would be another 4 weeks wait to get the one I ordered and according to their records they gave me the correct ring. I waited the 4 weeks.

laudete · 13/12/2019 19:54

Context might help. Is it for a Xmas show and is the wrong item at all useable? Her most realistic choices are use it anyway or argue for an expedited exchange. Of course, she shouldn't sell it; if she's not going to use it, do a return and refund. But, it's not her fault and she may not now have time to sort out a replacement - I would understand if she sends the child to school in it anyway. It's nearly the end of term at most schools and Xmas shows sometimes have ridiculous costume requests.

Straycatstrut · 13/12/2019 20:10

If it was me I couldn't keep it I'd feel guilty & worry about them contacting me about it. I'd drop it back into one of the shops and explain (wouldn't be wrapping, standing around in the post office at this time of year and paying postage). If it's a decent retailer they should offer something as a thanks for the honesty/sorry for the mix up.

Original poster
Wafflecopter · 13/12/2019 20:12

@laudete - No they wouldn’t be used by her or her DC, the dress is a woman’s designer dress, and she originally ordered a pair of plain black tops for a 4 year old.

@Branster - I’d be exactly the same, if want the ring I ordered even if the other was more expensive. Both morally and because I would have chosen the other for a reason!

@LastMichaelmas - Very true, the others seem ok with that.

OP posts:
Dandelion1993 · 13/12/2019 20:13

Keep it!

LastMichaelmas · 13/12/2019 20:16

It's like the trolley problem but with textiles.

Smurf123 · 13/12/2019 20:17

I once had similar happen from Amazon. I contacted them they apologised and told me to keep or dispose of the item I was sent by mistake and they would send the correct item out right away... In saying that the item that arrived was a pair of leggings not a designer dress

Ironytheoppositeofwrinkly · 13/12/2019 20:22

Yanbu, she should return it, especially if its a high value item, imagine if a member of staff loses their job over that, if they're suspected of stealing it or similar. I wouldn't be able to sleep. If it was a £1 item or something though, I probably wouldn't bother Blush

Original poster
Wafflecopter · 13/12/2019 20:22

@Straycatstrut - They have no stores it’s online only.
She said it’s not a bother to return the dress as she’d collect the tops from the place she’d use to send the dress back.
However when I asked she said that they wouldn’t send the tops out to her, as she’s had a similar issue before but with a present and retuned it, she’d have to repurchase and wait for the refund to come through.

OP posts:
laudete · 13/12/2019 20:31

Ah, so it's totally useless to her child. She should just send it back for a refund - and tell them she's expecting them to cover the shipping costs too. Tbh, I'd buy the child's tops somewhere else rather than trust this store again. I thought, maybe, it was a very similar item of clothing that could reasonably have been confused at the warehouse. (Two black dresses; different brands. That sort of thing.)

lisasimpsonssaxophone · 13/12/2019 20:35

I’d tell the company and let them figure out what they wanted to do about it, secretly hoping they would just tell me to keep it! But I would feel too guilty to just keep it without saying anything.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/12/2019 20:36

I also had the same happen from amazon recently. The package had 2 postcodes on it bizarrely, one of them being mine. The delivery person had done a dump and run on my doorstep. It was clear the address was a completely different one and for the other postcode. I tried to get them to look into the account details of the purchaser and return the parcel. They couldn’t wait to put the phone down on me.

I would definitely own up.

Original poster
Wafflecopter · 13/12/2019 20:36

@laudete - No sadly not!

She’s had a hard time finding anywhere that sells plain black tops for a 4YO that would arrive by next week.
I’m now helping her find something suitable as the item she ordered is out of stock - I wonder how many designer dresses they’ve sent out instead. 😂

OP posts:
JasonPollack · 13/12/2019 20:39

Very large online company? Fuck doing them any favours--they wouldn't do 3m for you!

mediumbrownmug · 13/12/2019 20:39

This happened to me. The item I received was worth 10x the value of what I had meant to purchase, so I immediately called the store to explain and ask what they wanted us to do. The store manager reached out to the store owner, who advised us to keep it. The store manager still “hoped” we would bring it back, in exchange for 10% off the item we’d intended to purchase. Hmm We accepted the owner’s offer instead!!!

Original poster
Wafflecopter · 13/12/2019 20:45

@JasonPollack - That’s the POV of the others on the group pretty much.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wafflecopter · 13/12/2019 20:46

@mediumbrownmug - Cheeky bugger! I don’t blame you after being told to keep it.

OP posts:
mediumbrownmug · 13/12/2019 20:50

@Wafflecopter, exactly, the owner gave it to us outright and said don’t worry about it. He wasn’t even aware that the manager (who knew of the owner’s decision) was still asking for it behind his back, which makes me wonder what the manager’s plans were for it! Confused

MissRabbitNeedsAHoliday · 13/12/2019 20:52

Tesco sent me an item worth over £150 in my online shop, which I hadn't ordered or paid for. It took me 2 phone calls and instead of them picking it up I had to take it back to a store myself, and never even got a thank you Confused
People were telling me I should have kept or sold it but I didn't want the driver to get in to trouble!
I probably still would do the same the next time though, I worry someone else would lose their job or something over it Blush