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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does the mum shaming ever stop???

83 replies

Baternburg · 03/12/2019 14:50

My DP has informed me that my sister in law has insisted that I MUST iron my baby’s clothes. AIBU to tell her to iron her face? Does the unwarranted parenting advice ever stop?

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Jupiters · 03/12/2019 14:54

Unfortunately I don't think it ever stops I'm afraid.

If your partner is that interested in what his sister thinks about the baby clothes he can iron them himself.

Winterdaysarehere · 03/12/2019 14:54

Ask her when she is free to bring her iron round...

ActualHornist · 03/12/2019 14:55

I haven’t experienced even a fraction of the craziness I regularly see on MN.

That sort of comment would wash over me as sort of a ‘look what my daft sister said’. You honestly can just let stuff wash over you...

Confusedbeetle · 03/12/2019 14:55

Why would any bloke take a blind bit of notice of this, never mind repeat it?

WatchingTheMoon · 03/12/2019 14:59

It probably doesn't stop but you need to let it stop bothering you.

Every time my MIL starts, I just go 'oh yes!' and then change the subject.

The other day she told me to wash my hands more often (I am literally obsessed with washing my hands and do it far more often than she does) and that I MUST wipe my dogs' feet before he comes into the house so the baby doesn't get sick.

I used to argue back, now I just go 'OH YES!' and carry on.

She did ask what language we'd be teaching the baby the other day - I'm British, husband is Korean. I am quite sick of this line of questioning because people do it all the time and they're basically insinuating that our baby is kind of Korean, but not ACTUALLY Korean and it pisses me off. So that time, I told her we'd be teaching him Chinese with a blank look on my face.

That also works. Just say some random shit like 'what's an iron?' if you really get annoyed.

Baternburg · 03/12/2019 14:59

It’s soooo annoying. Apparently it’s to ‘get rid of the bacteria’. She lives in another country so I can’t tell her to come and iron but I might suggest I could post the clothes to her.

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StrayWoman · 03/12/2019 15:00

I don't own an iron.

SVRT19674 · 03/12/2019 15:01

I don't iron my baby's clothes. She survives. Tell her to get a life, I'm sure there's plenty of stuff for her to concentrate on in her own life. Your house, your baby your iron.

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 03/12/2019 15:02

I really hope your partner was saying it in a 'god my sister is mad, you'll never guess what 'advice' she has come out with now!' way rather than a 'you know, SiL has said you should iron the clothes and actually why dont you?' type of way

Vulpine · 03/12/2019 15:02

Never heard that in my life. Bonkers

SeditionSue · 03/12/2019 15:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WatchingTheMoon · 03/12/2019 15:02

baternburg is she from a different country? I know that some cultures do iron all the baby's clothes because of bacteria.

SeditionSue · 03/12/2019 15:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lillyhatesjaz · 03/12/2019 15:03

Of course you should be ironing your babies clothes including the disposable nappies.

TurquoiseDress · 03/12/2019 15:05

Nah I don't think it ever stops

Your SIL seems rather bonkers to think that ironing baby clothes is some kind of life necessity

I never ironed any of my babies clothes, they seem to be turning out ok!

Vulpine · 03/12/2019 15:05

Its not 'benign', its germ obsessive

virginpinkmartini · 03/12/2019 15:06

'To get rid of the bacteria' 😂 Does she do her laundry in a river and beat it with a rock? Take no notice. People can eff off with their unsolicited shite. Just had someone at work the other day tell me off for having a coffee (I'm currently pregnant) I told them you can actually have 200mg of caffeine a day, and they just said 'It's very naughty, bad.' Yet they ask me quite often if I want cups of tea... Just assume they know not what they do.

Madaboutthem2 · 03/12/2019 15:06

I never ironed my kids clothes as babies. I iron them now as they are creased due to drying them inside. In the summer I'll only iron the odd thing. Tell her to butt out.

It never stops though. You have to grow a thicker skin. People will tell you when to wean, how to deal with bedtimes, where you are going wrong, how you are spoiling them, why the dummy needs to go, when you should be potty training, what shoes are best, why you don't need to do this that and that because they didn't do it, what nurserys, which school, what you should do to handle tanturms, why they are walking allover you, their eating schedules, when you need to square them up, their hair styles, oooo it's so fun!

Mine started whilst they were still in the womb. You don't need 4d scans, I don't like that name, you better not do this, breastfeed or bottle feed.

Just don't take any crap and keep doing it your way. Xx

GunpowderGelatine · 03/12/2019 15:07

YANBU, she's a cock and this had me howling laughing in the Sainsbo's queue

AIBU to tell her to iron her face?

Life is far too short to iron baby clothes.

lazylinguist · 03/12/2019 15:07

AIBU to tell her to iron her face?
YANBU!

Apparently it’s to ‘get rid of the bacteria
Hmm Maybe also tell her that's what washing things is for. What a weirdo.

Baternburg · 03/12/2019 15:10

@SeditionSue his family lots of these MAD wives tales so I sometimes ask what he’s talking about when he’s on Skype when I can understand that they are saying something about the baby but I can’t understand what. So this was the latest installment of over-Skype baby advice that doesn’t make sense.

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Baternburg · 03/12/2019 15:10

@WatchingTheMoon yes different country

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SeditionSue · 03/12/2019 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WatchingTheMoon · 03/12/2019 15:12

OP, is it somewhere in SE Asia? Cos if so, that is a common practice there. (obv you don't have to say if you feel it's outing.)

Baternburg · 03/12/2019 15:13

@Madaboutthem2 thankfully my baby is the first grandchild on my side of the family so don’t get much unsolicited advice from my side, and his side are mostly overseas so it’s done from a distance. Mostly laugh it off but seriously, life is too short to iron tiny vests

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