Does the mum shaming ever stop???

[Baternburg]

My DP has informed me that my sister in law has insisted that I MUST iron my baby’s clothes. AIBU to tell her to iron her face? Does the unwarranted parenting advice ever stop?

So 'cultural norms' can't be obsessive?

No, Southern Europe @WatchingTheMoon

In some countries there is a good reason for ironing all clothes. I don't remember the specifics, but somewhere sub-Saharan Africa, I think

Different countries, different advice. Vaguely interesting for a moment.

vulpine it makes sense in countries where the water isn't necessary that clean and where it's humid all the time so the clothes take ages to dry. It's humid where I am in the summer and I iron thick stuff sometimes otherwise it will literally never dry.

If it's cultural, it's cultural. Bit off to call it obsessive or whatever.

Doesn't mean the OP has to do it or even get annoyed by it.

I do think you sound a bit of a drama queen. Do you let every single opinion bother you. How do you cope with actual problems?
Your sil lives in another country, you dont see her regularly. She has an opinion. If you disagree then it's really, really simple to ignore her and move on. You dont need the dramatics of shes mum shaming me, woe is me.

Why did he tell you?

Does he agree?

In which case he van do it!

Drop a basket round her house

Is it really so bad if babies are exposed to a bit of bacteria?

@OneDay10 haha 😂 😂 this was meant as a joke. I mean, do you really believe I’d tell someone seriously to iron their face. Thought that made it obvious enough that it was a joke.

I do brush it off, but I mean, the number of things I’ve been told I should be doing, I think a jokey post on Mumsnet is probably the least dramatic way i could handle it

"Is it really so bad if babies are exposed to a bit of bacteria?"

But you could say that in response to anything, it all depends on the culture, doesn't it?

Presumably you wash your hands before touching a newborn. What if someone said that wasn't necessary? Or washing the bottles out every time wasn't necessary? Or that you don't really need to put dirty nappies in the bin, you can just leave them on the floor?

Different cultures have varying standards of what is considered clean and what isn't.

A mother's place is in the wrong.

Fuck it. The sooner you let it wash over you the better you'll feel.

Oh wow. I think I have ironed twice in the 9 months since DS was born.
I ironed my clothes for work.
DS's clothes are either hung up or folded away, but never ironed. He goes to nursery, so his clothes usually have sand/food/pumpkin seeds or pine cones stuck to them, to name a few recent events.
There is an anti-bacterial washing liquid we add to washing when he is poorly.
SIL needs to keep her opinions to herself, and if DH seriously wants to take her advice and suggest it to you, then he has just volunteered himself to do it!

YANBU. I don’t even iron my own clothes, much less my baby’s.

Why is it that the least well informed people are also the ones doling out the most unsolicited advice?

I ironed everything from when DS was a baby till now, he's three. I'm still a shit ironer. Nothing to do with bacteria, more to do with my bloody mother going on about it if he looks scruffy and it being easier to iron that argue about it every time I saw her every day

Yanbu to not iron.

Watching the moon, just because something is a 'cultural norm', does not mean it can never be questioned. Fgm is pretty obsessive

@diddl @DragonOnFire we don’t even own an ironing board haha so no, he doesn’t expect me to do it. I tend to choose clothes around whether the fabric is non iron. I really hate ironing 🤣 I did still tell him though that if he agrees, he can buy himself a nice ironing board for Christmas 🎄

AIBU to tell her to iron her face?
This really made me

Tell your DP that unless she has non-batshit 'advice' to pass on, he is welcome to filter it out when he tells you how their conversation went.

I have a 9 and 7 year old and the unsolicited advice still rolls in! Quite often from people who don't have kids, or who's kids are long grown up...Ignore, ignore, ignore...