Does the mum shaming ever stop???

[Baternburg]

My DP has informed me that my sister in law has insisted that I MUST iron my baby’s clothes. AIBU to tell her to iron her face? Does the unwarranted parenting advice ever stop?

Smile & nod (while you think away tae fuck )

Are you sure its the SIL that said this, and not your DH's passive aggressive way of telling you to iron the babies clothes?
If it is your DH, tell him to fuck off
If it is your SIL, tell your DH to tell her to fuck off.
Then tell him to fuck off for not telling SIL to fuck off without having to be told.
Either way, your husband needs to fuck off
Like you haven't got anything better to do than ironing when you have a baby

Just fold them straight out of the dryer. No ironing ever needed.

Ironing to get rid of bacteria made sense for cloth nappies when they were washed by hand without bleach.

It also makes sense for air dried clothes in countries affected by botfly, which deposit their eggs on clothes, and then the larvae bury themselves in the skin.

Do any apply to you?

Tell him that if he can do it if he wants, unless he told you just to show how crazy his sister is.

YANBU, and yes yes iron her face

The 'advice' never stops! I had a colleague tell me I shouldn't let sensible 10yr old DS use the kettle. I told her I take these things case by case for example, she herself shouldn't be allowed- she splashes boiling water... vaire vaire dangerous. She squirmed a bit and nervous laughed.

Get yourself a cat

I've lived in Africa - everything was ironed to get rid of parasites.

Your SIL may simply be giving you well-meaning advice that she doesn't realise is not relevant to living in the UK, she probably isn't batshit or trying to shame you.

Do you dislike your SIL?

@NKFell my 10 year old son was fine with the kettle until he thought he could boil milk in it for his hot chocolate! We had to buy a new kettle.
That was 25 years ago and he still gets teased.😂

Just thank for the advice and tell her you 're not doing that.

It's not mum shaming at all, it's an unwanted opinion. Smile, thanks, decline or ignore. Easy.

vulpine really, did you just mention ironing and fgm in the same sentence as if they are remotely the same thing?

the state of ye

My mom is in her 60s she still has people saying to her you ran back to work when you had YOUR baby 🤷‍♀️

My stock phrase every time I'm given unwanted advice on how I should raise my kids is 'opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has one, doesn't mean we always want to hear them'.

What clothes of your baby are you supposed to iron? I rarely ironed anything for mine, I dried clothes and then put them in the tumble drier to finish off/get rid of creases. There may have been the odd thing I ironed but if there was, I don't remember.

Never heard of such a thing.

Why not tell her brother to Iron them?

My SIL’s kids were getting eczema type rashes, and while we were visiting her (SE Asia) I was running through all the things she was using on their skin/clothes that might be causing dermatitis.

It turns out all their clothes were washed in biological, anti-bacterial detergent. When suggested she try stopping as it was possibly the cause she was totally taken aback and literally cried “but what about the bacteria?!?!!!!!”

She couldn’t believe I wash at 30 in non-bio, but couldn’t articulate what bacteria she was worried about, that my kids (and countless others) were living with perfectly happily, and rash-free. Batshit.

I lived in a place once where ironing all clothes etc was the required practice. Flies laid eggs on drying clothes and once worn they hatched quickly and burrowed into the skin, causing huge boils that actually wriggled as the larvae grew.

Yep. posters have already said there are parts of the world where you have to iron to kill parasitic insects. In the UK we used to iron in the olden days to kill lice and louse eggs not envy

I haven’t experienced even a fraction of the craziness I regularly see on MN
Nor me.
No one cared u I bf or bf, if I went to work or not, what kind of routine had going. No one cared that I put weight on that I lost t weight Absolutely no fucks were given. Sure I talked about stuff and friends did things their way and everyone seemed to live happy ever after!
If anyone appears to judge just roll your eyes Angela Merkel style.

Where I was born (African country) ironing all clothes was necessary to kill eggs so the larvae wouldn't burrow into your skin. She might be giving sensible advice for the place she lives. Not to say you need to follow it: I certainly don't iron my baby's clothes as we live in England.

If you have a tumble dryer to don't need to iron at all..... ever. And the hot setting will kill the buggers.
(But I send bedding to the ironing place as I love crisp sheets and hate ironing.)
Also wanted to add I've lived in Southern Africa and the Middle East and never heard of this.

The advice never ends but nor does your right to smile (or roll eyes or glare) and ignore.

From some of the other posts it seems there may be a reason for this advice but you can still do the ignoring thing.

Well today a lady asked if my daughter should be in a buggy because she looks too big.
She's not even 2 yet, a confident walker but I was going shopping for xmas bits for family and easy to put her in buggy than have her walk round with me taking twice as long, touching everything as she goes

She doesn’t live in a country where it would be necessary to kill bugs etc, it’s literally just for the sake of it

@andpancakesforbreakfast but when the unwanted advice is rejected and there is subsequent questioning and apparent Of in-ironed clothes that might harm my baby, the concern it turns into mum shaming

Is there some part of the old wives' tales that specifically mention it has to be the mother who does these things?

If not, tell him to work away.