“Suck your mum”

[Firedogs12]

DD aged 18 said this to me. I said it was offensive and asked her not to say it. She said she and DS aged 15 say it all the time (to each other and to their friends) and it doesn’t mean anything. She says it’s a generation thing. I said that my gran used to use n*gger but it doesn’t mean it’s ok.

AIBU to find it offensive? Do your teenagers say it?

FTAOD this was a one-off, under her breath, from a DD who has problems with boundaries and is quite naive despite thinking she’s streetwise. DS has never said it in my hearing and was dragged in to the argument by DD. Both have assured me that they won’t say it in my presence ever again.

As some PPs have said literally means what it says ‘suck your mum or suck your dad ’ basically suck your dads dick or mums vagina.

Defiantly isn’t light hearted and as many have said in some areas is serious insult and highly
Likely to cause a fight

When I was at school it was ‘your mam’ or for some weird reason ‘your mam on a chip barm’

No clue what they meant, never used them myself either because I felt like it was an insult to my own mum!

The mum/mom/mama 'jokes" have been around for generations. In my school around 20 years ago it started out with the 'yaaaaww mamma sooo fat" or "your so ugly even yaww mamma is scared of your face" and slowly progressed to :
Q. what did you do last night ?
A. Your mum.

Kids say these things.without thinking through what they are actually saying. They are just words to be said. They don't realise how offensive it actually is, You have to spell.it out for them.

Child: suck your mum!
Adult: what? Suck grandma, what do you mean? That's disgusting! Where exactly am i supposed to suck her? Her face? Her arm? Thats a bit weired, or beond that rather vile and worrying. So what did you mean by that?
Child: errrrm...
Adult: Don't let me hear you say it again.

I used that on my 15yr old.nephew a couple of years ago. He said he never thought of the context it was "just some thing his mates said". Once he actually though of what it ment he was quite disgusted and (to my knowledge) stopped saying it.

I haven't heard it said round here in recent years but the whole "your gay/thats gay" thing is doing the rounds here again, usually in response to being asked to do something they don't want to do. But that is a different thread.

Yeah my brother does. It's just a nonsense phrase like suck an egg derived from the 'your mum' phase of the early 2010s.

She hardly told you to fuck off

I think if I ever said that to my mum I'd be nil by mouth for a long, long time ( child of the 60s here)

If I had said that in my Mums hearing she would have literally washed my mouth with soap.

i miss my Mum. I miss those days. We've lost possibly more than was gained.

It’s massively offensive, you’re right OP.
A student at my school said this to a teacher and he was excluded.
I wouldn’t make it into a joke or comeback with saying “suck my son” - just look disgusted and rise above it. They’ve promised they won’t say it again so let’s hope not.
If it happens again I would take some action.

DH and I are both from terrible naice backgrounds and have never heard the phrase before but are both perfectly capable of understanding it means 'perform cunnilingus on your mother' and precisely how offensive that is so am amazed at the crazy suggestions that it refers to BFing or references 'teach your mother to suck eggs'. Don't be so faux naive.

OP, I agree with the PPs that you should get your DC to explain exactly what it means. They won't use it again.

I had never heard this phrase before and I worked in prisons in the north of England for 9 years. However, I now work in a prison in the West Midlands and it is probably the most incendiary insult used, as said by previous posters. Almost guaranteed to start a fight immediately.

YANBU If it 'doesn't mean anything', what is the point in saying it? Ask her if she has a habit of saying things that have no meaning. I find it offensive. It's also like the term 'motherfu*ker'. Just thinking about what that term would mean. It's suggestive of incest. There really is no need to talk like that, it is offensive and disgusting.

My brother is a prison officer at a YOI, that phrase will definitely start a serious fight. It’s worse than ‘suck your dad’ because mothers garner more respect, if one of them says something that offensive about another’s mum they’re literally asking for a fight. Don’t pay attention to the people saying it’s no big deal, if she says it to the wrong person, it will be a very big deal indeed.

Obviously the irony is that my DD has never come across anyone who would take such a disgusting comment as the vile insult that it really is. She’s from a London comp and as I said before, thinks herself a lot more streetwise than she actually is.

Isn't this basically what motherf**cker was years ago before we all became immune to its misogyny?

I think some PPs are exaggerating this to make OP feel worse. It’s a highly disrespectful term but no more serious than calling someone a motherfucker. It’s literally the same thing.

Varying insults against mothers have probably been around since Roman times. Everybody knows one of the best ways to hurt someone at school was to yell something rude about your opponents mum. At my school you didn’t even have to say a complete sentence, you’d just say ‘your mum’ and everyone knew you meant it in a derogatory way, there was no need to say anything else.

OP, give your DD a good telling off but no need to feel there’s anything wrong with her or that you’re bad parent. She’s a teen, they think they’re hard, she didn’t mean it. She repeated an insult and didn’t think through what it actually meant because I’m certain no child would mean they want there mother to perform oral sex on their grandma.

This actially has me thinking, why are mum's such a huge topic in teenage drama? I've been told about fights in the DS's social circle and "fuck off", "you're a cunt" etc don't seem to bother anyone but as soon as somebody's mum is mentioned the child of the mum in question goes ape.

It would almost be sweet that hearing insults about their mum's upset them if it wasn't so bloody crass. I wonder what's been said about me over the years...

Thanks Tellme. DH reminds me that the comment was made not TO me but in my hearing. DD was recounting a conversation she had with someone else and SYM was her comment on the conversation. I got so disgusted I went straight in to telling her off.

It's because back in the day in Jamaica (and sometimes now) it was considered vile to preform oral sex on a woman. Men in Jamaica have been shot for licking a fanny. Suck your mum in Jamaica is 100x worse than fuck off.

Jamaican slang is now quite widespread in the UK. I grew up with friends whose parents are jamaican. If they had ever uttered that phrase in front of a parent or grandparent they would have got slapped with whatever instrument their parents had to hand.

There are hundreds of songs singing about shooting and burning men who suck pussy and telling them to suck their mums pussy.

One lyric I will always always remember and still makes me laugh now is vybz cartel, "push your head up your mothers pussy like tampon". It felt, growing up, that vybz kartel, Bernie man, elephant man, sizzla hated vaginas but were also obsessed with them!

@Fizzypoo
That’s really interesting. I wonder why it’s the case?

I don’t think that’s unreasonable 😂

Of course it is. On MN it is impossible to talk about your well behaved children without being accused of being smug. MN apparently think so little of children, they believe being rude little shits is all they are capable of.

Yeah it's from Caribbean dialect as someone said and means "give oral sex to your mother".

I'd ask your daughter why she is appropriating Caribbean words in that way. It's far more complex than that in terms of urban slang vs Caribbean dialect but it will likely embarrass her out of it.

Very naughty

Suck ya mum

YourDD sounds a bit immature tbh..

Where I live it's 'yer da sells Avon'

LOOOOL

I'm going to use that one daily