Sir James Talbot tackles Mrs. Jack Maynard's Displaced Organ

[QuaterMiss]

Would I be unreasonable to initiate legal proceedings against this man?

Previous thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3624032-Not-to-have-realised-until-now-that-Joey-Maynard-s-displaced-organ-was-a-prolapse?

With thanks to Jemima232 for rifling through Sir James’ archives to supply the title of this one.

Recalling how "delicate" Joey was, I think she must have been asthmatic.
Do you remember how the equally delicate Robin sang her out of a coma? The Red Sarafan" was the song. Anyone heard of it?
How on earth Joey managed all those pregnancies- including multiple births- is a mystery to me. No wonder her organ slipped. It's a shame Jack's didn't!
I adored those books. My favourite is The Princess.
I've just said something rather rude about Jack haven't I?

If anyone turned up trying to steal my window here QuaterMiss they’d have to fight my cats for it: it’s one of their favourite perches (hence the nose-prints smeared across it at all times) - they won’t set paw in the garden (to be fair, I imagine it smells of Foxes & Danger) but they like WATCHING it. And chattering excitedly when they spot birds...

Returning to our sheep, as it were, cigarettes actually used to be prescribed for asthma. I didn’t think everyone smoking was weird because I was a weird 9[+]yo who knew In Those Days Everyone Smoked.

Bleh. Need to shift myself & set up my feed. About an hour ago. Ahem. Do sometimes wonder what CS [era] medics would make of my personal wee pharmacy. Accidentally making [AU] Evil Jack & Jem into drug barons if they could work out how to replicate some bits of it. Does “oops” cover that?

IvysMum12

The Red Sarafan - though not a Robiny rendering, for all the singer’s a soprano

And more than you ever wanted to know about “The Red Sarafan” - including Russian & English lyrics. Oh & transliterated lyrics, should you be possessed by the urge to sing along/find yourself in the situation of needing to sing someone back to health...

I have frequently sung people back to health.

It was required of nursing training back in the day.

Sir James Talbot has written a book about it which is my cache of his unpublished shite.

He gave it the working title of Sir James Discusses Music Therapy - A Handbook for Nurses and Midwives but I prefer the title I gave it when I was considering publication - Sir James the Frustrated Bass-Baritone - A Handbook for Clinicians who Also Cannot Sing

I could never get him to finish the section on The Red Sarafan as a New Treatment for Pleuro-Pneumonia as he couldn't seem to get past How to Get Women Patients to Open Up - Literally which was extremely distasteful.

I emailed Sir James today to tell him that I was on to him with regard to the drug-smuggling.

He has yet to reply.

Jemima, I'm assuming that Robin being a nun in Canada is also part of the cover-up. She is presumably acting not as a (high class, obviously) madam or similar.
Oh no, typing that made me wonder... Madge was known as Madame, was she in on it as well?

'Acting as a' obviously.

LonelyKettleshed

Ha.

It so happens that I have just discovered Madge's secret diaries amongst Sir James Talbot's ramblings manuscripts.

I shall endeavour to make sense of these documents by staying up all night and will be in a position to update the thread in the morning.

Suffice it to say that QuaterMiss and I were right.

Sir James Talbot is a scoundrel and a thoroughly Bad Hat.

@Jemima232, you are really going beyond the call of duty . Make sure you sustain yourself with hot chocolate and rolls as you toil over Madge's diaries tonight.

Just dropping in to say a huge thanks to @parker231 for the Dropbox link. I'm not sure I'm going to get much work done in the next few weeks!!!

@Parker231 please could I have the Dropbox link? This thread has had me in stitches, would love to reread from different perspective now I'm an adult 😂

Also checking in and requesting the Dropbox link please! Now, off to practise as Herr Anserl will not be pleased if I don’t!

Thank you Parker for the Dropbox link - that’s my summer holiday reading sorted!
I’m only at the beginning of book 2 but I’d forgotten how much I hate the babying of The Robin!

I used to love these books! Loving the thread. Could I request the drop box link as well please?

For anyone as technologically illiterate as me, I haven’t yet worked out how to get them onto my Kindle- but the ones in PDF form are easily moved to IBooks, which makes them easier to read. Sorry if this is grandmother and sucking eggs territory to everyone else.

Madge's Diaries

Well, some shocking revelations here, as could have been predicted.

Yes, there was a good deal of people-trafficking. That was the very reason for the Chalet School's existence.

Many have commented that Madge seemed to have no qualifications or money with which to set up a school - it was money from Herr Mensch and Herr Marani (sent via Swiss bank accounts) which enabled Madge to get the school up and running.

Herr Mensch was the master-mind. Sir James Talbot paid for his knighthood with money from the Mensch family, which was deposited with the British government. It was essential for there to be a doctor (although Sir James never qualified) to head up the medical side of the operation.

It looks like Dick Bettany forged Sir James Talbot's qualifications. Madge doesn't make this clear, though - but Dick was definitely in on the racket from the very start.

Anyway - once Madge got to the CS the Mensch and Marani families helped to fill the empty spaces in the school with their various offspring.

Good Grief.

I have just listened to The Red Sarafan.

If I'd been Joey and dying from pneumonia I'd have happily just died rather than listen to the Robin singing that over and over again.

BertrandRussell I managed to work out Calibre! You upload the books from the Dropbox folder than mail them to your Kindle's email address. You can find this in your Amazon devices list.
It will then ask you if you want them converted to Mobi and you click yes and by the Strange Magic of the Internet they arrive at your kindle.

I'm an old gimmer so I was like a Chaletian with a corner cubey and extra kuchen when I worked this out all on my own

Please may I also have the Dropbox link?

I've got a few of the books but never managed to read all of them. Our library didnt have them

Oh my sainted aunt, @Jemima232! drops Kuchen in shock

Well. The Maranis were always well dodge. And the Mensches just too good to be true. Always thought so.

No surprise here.

But Dick Bettany? Nah ... Too stupid to run anything. I’m in the middle of The Chalet School in the Oberland (utterly outstanding btw,) and Mollie Bettany has just had her goitre operation. No waiting list, just straight to the ‘big man’. I suspect this was the point at which Madge and Jem reeled him in. Hotfooted it from Canada! Galvanised doctors. Then finally blackmailed Dick - “play the game or we won’t pay for your wife’s private hospital care ...”.

She wasn’t called Madame for nothing ...

FuzzyBeag

I hope that wasn't a Hebridean Kuchen you dropped.

Yes - Dick Bettany was only good for one thing and that was forgery, apparently.

Madge's Diaries suggest that he used the forestry business to keep himself in enough paper to write and rewrite the forged documents which resulted in Sir James Talbot's qualifying as a doctor from St. Mary's. He actually attended a very poor medical school indeed so Dick had a lot of work on his hands to get him through.

But it succeeded. James Talbot quickly became Sir James Talbot.

His book James Talbot and the Medical School never did mention which one he purported to have attended.

I always thought that was strange.

He still hasn't responded to my email. I expect he's waiting for orders from the Chief Biatch (Madge.)

No waiting list - just straight to the Big Man

Yes. In more ways than one apparently.

And I gather that the Maranis insisted on Gisela's being the first Head Girl of the Chalet School.

Madge was against it. She wanted to put Joey straight into the top job but this was vetoed by the financial backers.

Extract from Madge's Diaries

……………..why my JoeyBaba could not be the Head Girl? It is preposterous of Herr Marani to suggest Gisela...………….wanted a nice English gel...………..duh...………...Dick is taking so long to forge the papers...…………………….got a note from Mr. Denny...………….what the fuck is he on about...…………….would like to see him trying it on with...……………...Madrigals my arse...……………...must get a Matron...………….am sick of trying to remember to fine the girls for using slang...……………..wish I could have another Kuche……………...glad to have left fucking England anyway...………………………...wonder if I'll...……….how could I get rid of Elise...……………….bossing me about the cow...……..could have her murdered maybe...…...girls could be told she had some random disease...………...memo to ask Sir James...……………..ha ha ha they will never know...……...

Oh my giddy aunt, how have I been on MN for years and never realised that this thread was here? And now I hear that there is a Dropbox link to the books as well?! Please, please could someone send it to me, before my head explodes from the mix of clear Swiss air and 21st century technology?