Sir James Talbot tackles Mrs. Jack Maynard's Displaced Organ

[QuaterMiss]

Would I be unreasonable to initiate legal proceedings against this man?

Previous thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3624032-Not-to-have-realised-until-now-that-Joey-Maynard-s-displaced-organ-was-a-prolapse?

With thanks to Jemima232 for rifling through Sir James’ archives to supply the title of this one.

Definitely more Enid Blyton.

I would have struggled with the Chalet School. I feel it's not great for people who aren't outdoorsy. The hikes and walks and ice skating (permitted or not) and tennis tournaments and rowing on the lake... not for me.

Although the outdoor sea pool at Mallory Towers always filled me with envy despite quite clearly only ever being just above freezing.

Massive EBD fan, checking in.

I’m joining in because I have to But as a German girl from a noble house who’s been sent here because of my wildness / delicate health, I just want to let you all know that I’ve brought my proud attitude/make up/desire to go for long unplanned walks on snowy days without permission/banned books with me. But I have a good Christian heart underneath it all and a weakness for manly doctors.

Haha schrod I have often longed for matron’s special milk for my legit insomniac 3 yr old.

Unicorn extensive research suggests that Special Milk was generally administered to young women of erm ... marriageable (aka traffic-able) age.

In the case of a three year old I imagine Matey would be recommending some good old fashioned 1940s/1950s parental discipline - as demonstrated by Joey towards the angelic toddler Felicity.

Good Grief, QuaterMiss

Are you still banging on about white slavers?

I thought your free consultation with Sir James might have knocked that idea out of your pretty little head. It lasted long enough. I was there in the waiting room (to serve him with a writ, not to have my fanjo examined) and I heard some extraordinary noises going on.

Quite disgusting.

Did the Chalet School do many midnight feasts?

Ooh no! It was probably Joey who said, musingly, something like, "The food here is so delicious we've never really thought about it".
Can't remember who organised the only one I remember them having. It was a disaster. A lot of them were ill and had nightmares afterwards because of their delicate constitutions.
The dread Thekla was there and took a lot of smoked bacon which she ate raw; think that was what made the beauteous Marie sick (in a very lovely way, no doubt).
Someone else drank a tin of condensed milk. That was what made me feel sick (in a not-at-all beauteous way).

It was Joyce Linton and Thekla I think.

They were a feeble lot weren’t they? I ate two triple chocolate muffins at midnight (PMT, of which our Chaletians know nothing) and I feel fine. I could have added bacon and would still be right as rain.

Oh no! At what age is the special milk suitable? She definitely gives it to the Middles. Juniors?

I’m sorry Jemima. But I feel it’s my duty - on behalf of the possibly thousands of young women who disappeared from the Gornetz Platz and never went home.

Of course, the rot set in when Jack Maynard became Head of the San. Remember, he knew all the secret pathways under, over, through mountains. And had a network of ocean going contacts with fancy yachts.

You don’t honestly think he kept eleven bio-children, a profligate wife, a houseful of staff and countless teenage ‘wards’ () on just his doctor’s salary???

Jem was undoubtedly in charge of receiving the ‘merchandise’ at the overseas destinations. Has anyone ever investigated just why he needed to spend so much time at ‘big conferences’ in Canada and Australia?

I'm here for the Doctors. May I also have the Dropbox link?

Is anyone else a member of FOCS?

www.chaletschool.org.uk/

Jem was undoubtedly in charge of receiving the ‘merchandise’ at the overseas destinations. Has anyone ever investigated just why he needed to spend so much time at ‘big conferences’ in Canada and Australia?

He and the erstwhile Sir James Talbot used to meet in the Dominians to throw the Politzei of Europe off the scent.

I have unearthed a series of letters between the two which clearly demonstrate their relationship.

In one letter (from Sir James to Dr. Russell) he tells Jem to "make sure that ass Jack Maynard gets his irritating wife up the stick as often as possible so that she doesn't get on our track" and in another, which has been torn in places, he says "nobody can ever know what you mean to me Jem...…………..batting for the other side...…………..Matron must never discover that we've adulterated the stuff...…………...Lady Russell will not believe this of you...………..hate the Chalet School with every fibre of my being...………..remember what you promised me...………...still cannot get Jemima to publish the book about (undecipherable)……………….meeting in Ontario...…………..your sister-in-law Mrs. Maynard is a thorough-paced (undecipherable)………………...there will be more of it from our usual sources...……...Herr Mensch may be on to (undecipherable)…………...Mr. Denny hasn't got TB you fool - it was a cover-story...………….he'll set off along the Tiern Pass as planned...………….have never seen such a big (undecipherable)

If I come across anything else likely to shed light on their real reasons for visiting Canada I shall bring it to the thread's attention, but they were very good at obfuscating.

Can someone send me the dropbox link too? I read quite a few as a kid so some of these things seem familiar (although having not read them in order I never quite understood why sometimes they were in Cornwall and other times in the mountains of Austria).

If you’re in it for the midnight feasts then St Clare’s/Malory Towers are far superior. Not a smoked bacon rasher or mug of oniony milk in sight.

I think there were still sardines, but overall decent grub.

I’m obviously in it for the plays and obviously choose Kingscote every time.

I’m torn on the CS. On the one hand I dig it’s status as a carb lovers paradise. Those potato balls swimming in butter anyone?

On the other, cold baths first thing in the morning are an ABOMINATION.

And Joey (and particularly Mary Lou) would have pissed me right off.

And I have finished The New Mistress at the CS, which I unreservedly vote as the dullest book of the series.

It may qualify as the dullest book I've ever read, actually.

I am however interested in the possibility of Miss Wilmot and Miss Ferrars having an affair in a later book.

I’m obviously in it for the plays and obviously choose Kingscote every time.

Oh! The Chalet School plays and pageants were among my favourite things so I must look up this Kingscote of which you speak.

I spent ages trying to attach a small torch to my head so I could play a candle à la Joyce Linton in the Christmas pageant (her again! So was the midnight feast in "The Chalet School and the Lintons" if Joyce and Thekla organised it?).
Only succeeded in hitting myself in the eye with it when sellotape failed to attach it to a hairband.

Kingscote plays are more cynical to a power of several million than Chalet ones, be warned. You see them from the point of view of the good singers who never get a look in past Jo’s choral tones.

Rosemary Auchmuty’s World of Girls features an excellent analysis of Willy and Ferry’s lesbian relationship. Although I think she does conclude it was probably accidentally written. I’d need to find the book and check. They have adjoining bedrooms you know.

They have adjoining bedrooms you know

Can I ask anyone with legal knowledge if this is proof-positive of a lesbian relationship?

Yup. Adjoining bedrooms constitutes definite proof.

Just as the fact of Primula Venables’ new bedroom at Freudesheim being on the same floor as Jack and Joey’s is clear indication that he was not entirely faithful to his noisy wife.

Actually, in J Goes to the Oberland Joey seems to spend an inordinate amount of time stripping off in front of the two of them. So they probably had a threesome thing going on. Unbeknownst to Daisy ...

This blog sets it all out well!

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/mrsmacnallysmaureen.tumblr.com/post/99313371276/more-than-just-great-friends/amp

Have just read the blog DoubleRaspberry

Fascinating and revealing.

In which book did Miss Ferrars develop appendicitis? I read a bazillion years ago.

Challenge. I only know because it’s been mentioned upthread. I have almost no knowledge of those books at the end.

Yup. Adjoining bedrooms constitutes definite proof*

Ha.

No wonder you were disbarred QuaterMiss

I have almost no knowledge of those books at the end

Trying to dissociate yourself from them, eh, Raspberry?

I take it that you're not a Chalet Girl Till You Die.

I'm sure that the San wss a cover for early plastic surgery or gynaecology issues.... such as terminations for society ladies.