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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Kids in holiday clubs when you’re not working...

120 replies

autumnnightsaredrawingin · 15/04/2019 10:10

It’s the school holidays. You are not at work (either a SAHP or work term time only).

Person A thinks putting your children into holidays activity camps for any amount of time is not ok, because you don’t need to. That if you’re off work or don’t work they should be with you.

Person B thinks if the kids are happy to go, and you can afford it, it’s absolutely fine.

Person C thinks if you are a SAHP of school age NT children it’s not ok as you have loads of time off in term time. But if you work term time, it’s ok because come the holidays you probably need a couple of days off too.

Thoughts?!

OP posts:

Lumene · 15/04/2019 10:11

People should do whatever is right for their families without worrying about others judgement or some imaginary rules.

megletthesecond · 15/04/2019 10:12

I think it's fine. Better than having kids aimlessly mooching around the house and wanting tv all day.

AguerosAngel · 15/04/2019 10:17

DS(12) is just starting his second week off today, the first week he had with me, doing stuff pretty much every day (with the odd chill in our pj’s day thrown in at his request).

This week he’s going to sports camp (related to a particular position he plays in his his team) for three days, his choice, he asked to go.

I’m a SAHM (through health reasons) and will use the time to tackle his shit show of a bedroom!

I don’t see anything wrong in it at all.

nancy75 · 15/04/2019 10:19

Loads of children go to these clubs because they want to, they mix with other kids, they keep active & have fun.

Chickychoccyegg · 15/04/2019 10:20

everyone should do whatever suits them and their dc and other people should mind their own business

AnnoyedByAlfieBear · 15/04/2019 10:21

If the child wants to do a specific club or activity (or you know they'll benefit/enjoy it) then I see no problem with it.

LynnTheseAreSexPeople · 15/04/2019 10:24

I put my kids in to a few days of activities they really want to do, despite being off work in the holidays. I wouldn't put them in full time as I want time with them and the chance to do days out to museums etc.

Shitonthebloodything · 15/04/2019 10:28

Mine have gone plenty of times on days I wasn't working because they wanted to and to be honest, it was cheaper than a family day out. Don't see the problem, they are happy and entertained.

JockTamsonsBairns · 15/04/2019 10:28

What Chicky said. What business is it of anyone else's fgs? Can't people just do what works for them and their own families without this constant, sneering judgement from other folk?
I work term time only, and my 9yo dd is going to gymnastics club for two days next week. Brilliant! She was desperate to go, will learn a whole lot of new skills, stay active, and meet up with her pals at the club. I'll get a chance to hang out and do something with ds. The rest of the two weeks' holiday, we'll all be together - either out and about doing stuff, or at home doing very little. Can't see anything worthy of judgement in that, but maybe someone will find something?

BikeRunSki · 15/04/2019 10:29

Do whatever you want. A lot of holiday club are much shorter than office hours, so don’t actually work for many people at work. It’s frustrating though when clubs are full with the children of SAHP, and there is no space for the children of WOH parents, but then that’ll teach me for not getting my act together sooner.

YogaPants · 15/04/2019 10:30

Do person A and C honestly think that children of stay at home parents don’t benefit from extra activities outside of term? With a parent at home, dc could do shorter clubs or only a couple of days but surely as long as the child enjoys it, dc shouldn’t be required to be glued to available parent for 13 weeks of non-school time a year?

notacooldad · 15/04/2019 10:31

If I was parent AB or C I woukdnt give two hoots what the other two were doing in all honesty and not even give it a thought.
If anyone told me what we as a family ' should ' be doing they would be told to mind their beaks!!

BikeRunSki · 15/04/2019 10:31

I sometime use the “short day” clubs when I am on annual leave during school holidays. DH and I use all our annual leave to cover school holidays. By using clubs, we get a few hours to ourselves.

MadameDD · 15/04/2019 10:32

I personally haven't had to address this problem yet as DD when not at home has gone to her DGM's house for holidays and next week we're away for a week.

If she wanted to go to a holiday club though and they had more on offer than I could offer - and I work too - then it's a no brainer - of course she'd go there.

Americans are fine about this and call it 'Camp' sending kids away for the whole summer vacation.

DeeCeeCherry · 15/04/2019 10:32

Thoughts?
Nobody's business but the family. Who hopefully wont take a blind bit of notice of people who have the time to stick their beak in and appoint themselves The Judge Of All. I'd laugh at somebody judging me this way, right before telling them to piss off

HBStowe · 15/04/2019 10:32

there’s no right or wrong about it. People should do what works for them.

needanappp · 15/04/2019 10:33

Why shouldn't they go? If the parents have the money and the child wants to go, they should. They do lots of things at these clubs that wouldn't necessarily be able to do at home.

I hate the "you're a SAHP so you should be with your kids all the time because that's what you're supposed to do" mentality. I love being a SAHP but equally, it's quite isolating and you become just "mom" and lose yourself a bit. Everyone needs a break from their children now and again to do something for themselves. Whether that's a relaxing bath, a quiet hour to yourself in peace or a shipping trip - anything. Just because you don't work it doesn't mean you're not allowed any time away from your children.

NWQM · 15/04/2019 10:34

Ours went to one last week. They loved it. We still did plenty together.

MadameDD · 15/04/2019 10:34

actually I just had my neighbour onto me - she has 3 DC, 2/5, 5, and 7.5 - they're spending a week in an island in Scotland and have decided to spend another week there as it's so nice in the countryside and the kids love it plus there are kids of similar ages there too.

Better than another week where we are - outskirts of London - there are activities and she's a SAHM but only so many times you can keep them all amused and not killing each other.

Whatafustercluck · 15/04/2019 10:35

It depends entirely on your circumstances, surely. You just do what feels right for you and your DC. So essentially B. You might have a big age gap - older child gets bored and would rather be with friends doing fun, exciting things. Whatever I chose I'd involve them in the choice - if they were happy/ wanted to go and I could afford it I'd do it. If they said they wanted to spend time with me I'd likewise do it.

CostanzaG · 15/04/2019 10:36

People should do what works for them and not judge other people's decisions??

Original poster

autumnnightsaredrawingin · 15/04/2019 10:36

Thanks. Glad to see the overwhelming majority think it’s the family’s choice and not a problem. That’s absolutely my view too, but not everyone’s!

OP posts:

Looneytune253 · 15/04/2019 10:37

Hmmm I'm a childminder and I know of parents that will put their child in the childcare throughout the holidays full time even when they don't have to. Child is exhausted and never sees mum and dad. They had a week off together last week and child was still woken to go at 7am so parents could go back to bed. (this is not one of my children btw but have see similar over the years). I think that a day or two is ok as long as the child has a good balance of family time etc too. It's up to the parents if they want to pay extra to have a break/ give the kids something to do but similarly the children are also entitled to good quality time at home with parents.

notacooldad · 15/04/2019 10:38

That’s absolutely my view too, but not everyone’s!
Is that a problem for you?

MadameDD · 15/04/2019 10:38

You know what too? thinking back to my own childhood - we had no holiday clubs (70s) and my mum luckily was a teacher so had holidays off but she had to entertain us every day. We had more freedom then - playing out lots etc and the one time she suggested we went to PGL Adventure Camps we vetoed this as we didn't want to be away!

But looking back I think it would have been bloody good for us to have gone to PGL or another day time holiday camp. I think the gymnastics or swimming had the odd 1-2 day 'camps' but it really didn't seem to be sold in that way back then?

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